Dogbert's Quotes

#1. Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching.
Dogbert's Motto

Scott Adams

#2. An absolutely new idea is one of the rarest things known to man.

Thomas More

#3. Dogbert to Dilbert
"My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people."
"Then what does it do?"
"Why would it need to do anything else?

Scott Adams

#4. There is nothing that isn't perfect, the only reason we don't see that perfection constantly is because we lack humility.

Frederick Lenz

#5. Some people lose their nerve for riding or skiing or driving; well, I've lost my nerve for life.

Sophie Kinsella

#6. Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.

Dalai Lama

#7. Wherever there is disaster, the newsman is there. If he cannot find disaster, he searches for the odd and the peculiar, the exotic and the unfamiliar. His photographs, seen by millions, make momentary events and strange occurrences all over the world our common property.

Beaumont Newhall

#8. Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.

Scott Adams

#9. If you watch Olivier's interviews, he has this reptilian tongue; it seems too big for his mouth. My pursuit of that became distracting, so I let it go. The thrill was finding the right pair of glasses.

Julian Sands

#10. Dogbert gazing at night sky No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there. Dilbert Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth. DogbertThank you for shattering my comfortable misconception. DilbertIt's the miracle of science.

Scott Adams

#11. Good comes to those who lend money generously and conduct their business fairly. - Psalm 112:5

Gary Chapman

#12. How did people steal before computers? - Dogbert

Scott Adams

#13. Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. [TV remote control] Click.

Scott Adams

#14. Technopoly eliminates alternatives to itself in precisely the way that Aldous Huxley outlined in Brave New World. It does not make them illegal. It does not make them immoral. It does not even make them unpopular. It makes them invisible, and therefore irrelevant.

Neil Postman

#15. Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf.
Dilbert: How can they tell it's the golf gene?
Dogbert: It's plaid and it lies.

Scott Adams

#16. After ten standard months I was done, acknowledging the ancient aphorism to the effect that no book or poem is ever finished, merely abandoned.

Dan Simmons

#17. I must give myself permission not to like myself. It's ok. Plenty of other people don't like me either. And I have much higher standards.

Quentin R. Bufogle

#18. If you can make one person listen to you, you can make the world Hear you.

Anthony Kong

#19. Surpassing my achievements feels incredible; I want to replicate that again and again.

Katherine Reutter

#20. If you mine the data hard enough, you can also find messages from God. [Dogbert]

Scott Adams

#21. Dilbert: You joined the "Flat Earth Society?" Dogbert: I believe the earth must be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called "round earth theory." Dilbert: I think Christopher Columbus would disagree. Dogbert: How convenient that your best witness is dead.

Scott Adams

#22. My greatest contribution to hip-hop was allowing the United States of America to know and understand exactly how far they reach, and how influential they are to children in completely different countries because I am the import.

Monie Love

#23. You have no idea what you get involved in when you start a role. You just hope that it's going to be successful.

Michelle Fairley

#24. I had a nightmare about being on a cruise ship and the ship going down. It was an arduous process of the ship going down and we knew it was going down. There was everyone I know and love on the ship.

Jared Padalecki

#25. Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes ... no, wait ...

Scott Adams