Dogbert Quotes

#1. Dilbert: You joined the "Flat Earth Society?" Dogbert: I believe the earth must be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called "round earth theory." Dilbert: I think Christopher Columbus would disagree. Dogbert: How convenient that your best witness is dead.

Scott Adams

#2. Dogbert to Dilbert
"My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people."
"Then what does it do?"
"Why would it need to do anything else?

Scott Adams

#3. Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.

Scott Adams

#4. Dogbert gazing at night sky No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there. Dilbert Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth. DogbertThank you for shattering my comfortable misconception. DilbertIt's the miracle of science.

Scott Adams

#5. Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching.
Dogbert's Motto

Scott Adams

#6. How did people steal before computers? - Dogbert

Scott Adams

#7. Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. [TV remote control] Click.

Scott Adams

#8. Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf.
Dilbert: How can they tell it's the golf gene?
Dogbert: It's plaid and it lies.

Scott Adams

#9. If you mine the data hard enough, you can also find messages from God. [Dogbert]

Scott Adams

#10. Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes ... no, wait ...

Scott Adams

#11. Whenever men and women straighten their backs up, they are going somewhere, because a man can't ride your back unless it is bent

Martin Luther King Jr.

#12. We got into a recession because the global economy went into the recession and we're a big exporting nation.

Stephen Harper

#13. Imagination is not something apart and hermetic, not a way of leaving reality behind; it is a way of engaging reality.

Irving Howe

#14. Nothing in life is trivial. Life is whole wherever and whenever we touch it, and one moment or event is not less sacred than another.

Vimala Thakar

#15. There are more and more visibly weird and freaky people in the world these days, and it's high time we stop carrying forward the junior high school dynamic of excluding them all from our lives or worse ... nailing them to some cross.

Kate Bornstein

#16. As we battle the high price of fuel, cost efficiency will continue to be a top priority not only for airlines but for every partner in the value chain including airports and air navigation service providers.

Giovanni Bisignani

#17. Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.

Agatha Christie

#18. (The best advice her mother ever gave her: "Walk in like you own the place.")

Emily St. John Mandel