Definitely Maybe Funny Quotes

#1. It's funny to think that when you get done with an acting job, you're considered unemployed. There are definitely times when those checks don't last forever. I went to college at a private school, and I racked up quite a bit of debt. I was very slow to pay them back.

Rami Malek

#2. You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub ... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.

Anthony Jeselnik

#3. Fashion is a funny thing to talk about. I think what you wear is definitely an extension of you, but I also think it's totally arbitrary.

Tessa Thompson

#4. Well, that cinched it. He was an asshole. I was definitely going to end up sleeping with him.

Molly Harper

#5. I think on 'Third Watch' that I was the comic relief on a lot of that. I mean, I definitely had dark moments, but people tended to think he was funny even if the character himself wasn't having a fun time.

Jason Wiles

#6. On 'The Simpsons,' I will say that we definitely like to comment on what's going on in the world, and we try to be funny. If we can figure out a way of being funny about it, then we've gone part of the way of accomplishing our task.

Matt Groening

#7. My dad has an incredible passion for living life, and he's really, really funny, so he definitely encourages me to enjoy all aspects of life. He's very proud of me and definitely encourages my career path, and we have a good time talking about work.

Spencer Grammer

#8. Your last letter made me laugh so much, Em, but you should still get out of there because while it's good for gags it's definitely bad for your soul. You can't throw years of your life away because it makes a funny anecdote.

David Nicholls

#9. Everything seems fine until you're about 40. Then something is definitely beginning to go wrong. And you look in the mirror with your old habit of thinking, 'While I accept that everyone grows old and dies, it's a funny thing, but I'm an exception to that rule.'

Martin Amis

#10. I just love carbs. And when I'm on vacation I definitely allow myself carbs, so it's always funny when people are like, 'Oh my gosh, you look great in your bikini.' I'm like, 'If you only knew what I had for breakfast!'

Ashley Tisdale

#11. We're definitely going to get Brooklyn christened, but we don't know into which religion.

David Beckham

#12. I love 'Saturday Night Live,' and it's such a funny show. I don't know if I'm funny enough to be on it but definitely would be interested in doing it.

Lindsey Vonn

#13. Whatever you have read I have said is almost certainly untrue, except if it is funny, in which case I definitely said it.

Tallulah Bankhead

#14. I'd love to do a really juicy drama that's just really real. On the comedy side, I'd love to do something like '21 Jump Street.' I cannot stop watching that movie. Really funny, really extreme comedies are definitely my favorite.

Daniela Bobadilla

#15. I definitely knew I wanted to be an actor in high school. I was doing plays and musicals, and I loved 'Saturday Night Live' and thought that was what I wanted to do - funny sketches and comedies. So I knew then, but I didn't know how to go about it, but I found my way.

Jerry Trainor

#16. Very funny, and he laughed hard. Am I really stinko? On just three sips? He didn't think so, but he was definitely high. No more. Enough was enough. "Drink responsibly," he told the empty restaurant, and laughed. He'd hang out here for

Stephen King

#17. Every once in a while you definitely have to film someone for half an hour saying something that you do not think is funny because for the previous two hours they said a bunch of stuff that you think is really funny.

Seth Rogen

#18. If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

Steven Wright

#19. My town's quite small and you kinda recognize everyone when you see them, so I definitely get funny looks from people.

Birdy

#20. He stood and inhaled, then walked a few more feet, stooped, and prodded a chunk of rabbit fur.
"I'm definitely thinking something with more body parts," I said. "Like a head."
He gave a snort of a laugh. "It's probably around here somewhere, but I suppose you want the parts attached, too.

Kelley Armstrong

#21. It's funny how you get a bit older and become more accepting of things. When you're in your twenties, you're skeptical of everything. I definitely felt like that.

Jamie Dornan

#22. Well, bloody noses." I hug his coat tighter. "Those are definitely hot.

Stephanie Perkins

#23. I was raised a nice Jewish boy in a Conservative household. Went to Camp Ramah. It's funny actually. I think I enacted my queerness there unconsciously. I was kind of one of the weirdos. I was on staff and definitely interested in alternatives to what that social structure was supposed to be.

Jay Michaelson

#24. I want to be a little more dramatic nowadays. I definitely want something big and funny, but I look for things that can just have people see me in a different light and let me mature as both an entertainer and an actor and a comedian.

Cedric The Entertainer

#25. He shook his head. He didn't know. He couldn't tell when he had woken fully. He walked to the horses. They definitely seemed alarmed. But then, they would. After all, he had just leapt to his feet unexpectedly, waving his saxe knife around like a lunatic.

John Flanagan

#26. Son of a - Rora?" Blake slid out of the crater he'd just made in the wall. "Crap. What are you doing here?" He saw my wrist. "Handcuffs? I definitely want that story.

A&E Kirk

#27. If you play Mark Twain and he's not funny, you are definitely not playing Mark Twain. That was the biggest challenge, in some ways. Writing and performing jokes that can come out of that brilliant delivery system he constructed: the friendly, avuncular truth-teller.

Val Kilmer

#28. In the dark, Dave reached for Roger's hand as they watched the shadowed lovemaking. "Were we ever that beautiful?"
"You still are," Roger told him.
"Maybe we should make the most of the hurricane."
"This is definitely foreplay."
"It's like Tumblr, the live version.

S.E. Jakes

#29. GRANDMA: Are you a gay?
ORPHEUS: I am straight. I'm definitely dating a girl, gran. Do you think she's a man?
*She laughs*
ORPHEUS' BRAIN: Thank god she took it as a joke. I would have been executed on the town square for such a rude back answer.

Scarlett Brukett

#30. It's funny because I'm so used to acting in English that any time I have these moments where I have to speak Russian, it definitely takes a different part of my brain to pull it off, but it's always nice and fun.

Ksenia Solo

#31. If I could read a book, I'd definitely read one of yours.

Paris Hilton

#32. He slammed the door shut in Ian's face, the lock clicking into place. Ian hit it again with his fist before roaring, If I were a pervert, I'd be looking for something a damn bit more attractive than you, jackass. And definitely someone that smelled alive.

Rose Wynters