Top 22 Deadpan Humor Quotes
#1. I didn't answer. Mr. Dowater had a reputation for deadpan humor, a humor that was strangely similar to the low-level, sarcastic sniper fire offered by the school's underbleacher population of stoners and class-cutters. It didn't really pay to engage it. After
Ethan Canin
#2. We compose our life in stories we tell ourselves
John Geddes
#3. I think that in a year I may retire. I cannot take my money with me when I die and I wish to enjoy it, with my family, while I live. I should prefer living in Germany to any other country, though I am an American, and am loyal to my country.
Harry Houdini
#4. The gods favor the bold.
Ovid
#5. The vampire blood running around in their systems isn't natural, so whenever Henry or Grace get a cut, no matter how minor, their bodies can't produce more blood. It's up to Madeline to come replenish it from her own supply, another process that I'm told is (ha-ha) draining.
M.L. Brennan
#6. Sometimes, the sun sets earlier. Days don't last forever, you know. But I'll fight as hard as I can. I can promise you that.
Marie Lu
#8. As for Doing-good ... I have tried it fairly, and, strange as it may seem, am satisfied that it does not agree with my constitution.
Henry David Thoreau
#9. Most important to me is being able to release music and have an astounding relationship with whoever would be distributing the music.
Joe Budden
#11. People have found her somber, but it is sometimes because her humor is so deadpan dry that it escapes many.
Irin Carmon
#12. The life of the city never lets you go, nor do you ever want it to.
Wallace Stevens
#14. A girl can dream."
His eyebrows rose. "Is that what you dream about? Being a monster?"
"Not exactly," I said, frowning at his word choice. Monster, indeed. "Mostly I dream about being with you forever.
Stephenie Meyer
#15. A tiny spark ignites a flame, just as a helping hand can do the same
Nonnie Jules
#16. A defeatist attitude kills almost as many marriages as do affairs.
Gary L. Thomas
#17. I'm mad at your idiot coworker. Not you. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Why would you cheat on me?"
"Because you force me to use words like piqued," Alexander replied, deadpan.
S.H. Marr
#18. When attempting to turn things around for a particularly disliked or controversial client, Sitrick was fond of saying, "We need to find a lead steer!" The media, like any group of animals, gallops in a herd. It takes just one steer to start a stampede.
Ryan Holiday
#19. My dad has a dry, deadpan sense of humor, and my mom has an unexpected, wacky take on things. They really encouraged laughing at ourselves and the weirdness of situations that come up growing up in politics.
Kristin Gore
#20. You're wasting your time
Giving me that speech
you try to don't reach:
your smile <3
You're holding your tears
Your insides are dead
You're eating your fears,
In a cigarette.
You've waited too long,
to finally see ...
Sunshine in the rain
is as deep as the sea.
Ed Sheeran
#21. You think Tide is better, or All?'
'Which has a prettier box?' I ask.
'I don't want a pretty box. I want a dude box.'
Uh-huh,' I deadpan. 'You want a dude box of laundry detergent.'
'Yes, I do.'
'Good luck with that.
E. Lockhart
#22. He's fucking stone cold deadpan. His pan is so dead he could lay it in a casket and bury it at Bellevue. They made a movie about him once: Dawn of Ivan's Pan.
Charlotte Stein
