Top 30 Best Deadpan Quotes
#1. A dementor," I say. "What in God's holy name is that?" "A dementor? From Harry Potter?" "Well, put your hood back, for the love of Jesus. And who are you supposed to be?" "Kim Kardashian," says Leah, just completely deadpan. Garrett looks confused. "Tohru from Fruits Basket.
Becky Albertalli
#2. Peabody, you never cease to amaze me."
"One day I'll tell you about my granny and her five lovers."
"Five lovers isn't abnormal for a woman's lifetime."
"Not in her lifetime; last month. All at the same time." Peabody glanced up, deadpan. "She's ninety-eight. I hope to take after her.
J.D. Robb
#3. All the people saying mean things about me on the Internet are gonna be dead in four hundred and thirty-three days," she said, deadpan.
Neal Stephenson
#5. Tybalt's what we call 'Cait Sidhe' - the fairy cats. Which explains the attitude. And the eyes."
"Meow," said Tybalt, deadpan.
Seanan McGuire
#6. Adrian was completely deadpan. 'So. You're saying my sister is dressed like a prostitute.
Richelle Mead
#7. Felicia managed to stagger to her feet, open the front door, and limp haltingly to the white limousine idling on the snowy street outside the house. Murphy went to the window to watch Felicia get into the limo and depart.
"Yeah," I said, deadpan. "The little blond woman has two of them.
Jim Butcher
#8. No phones, no internet and no TV and we manage to make the news in at least three states. What are the odds?"
Alex looked at him deadpan and said "Well, I do make really good buns. Word was bound to spread.
Theresa Shaver
#9. People, particularly over-moralistic Americans, have often seen me as a pessimist and humourless to boot, yet I think I have an almost maniacal sense of humour. The problem is that it's rather deadpan.
J.G. Ballard
#10. "God, you're a good kisser," he said. "Where'd you learn to do that?"
I sat up and flashed him a deadpan look. "Books," I said.
Eve Marie Mont
#11. I didn't answer. Mr. Dowater had a reputation for deadpan humor, a humor that was strangely similar to the low-level, sarcastic sniper fire offered by the school's underbleacher population of stoners and class-cutters. It didn't really pay to engage it. After
Ethan Canin
#12. Lipstick?" He arched a brow.
"I'm on the hunt for my perfect shade," I respond, deadpan.
"Ditch the magenta. Your olive skin screams for rose." His deadpan is better than mine.
Gena Showalter
#13. Nice blouse, Sage," Adrian told me, deadpan. "It really brings out the khaki in your pants.
Richelle Mead
#14. I have no social agenda with my work. I'm deadpan about it.
Edward Ruscha
#15. Marie Houzelle is a master of the first-person narrative. In Tita she has created a strange, utterly original child whose deadpan certainties are a beguiling invitation to readers of all ages.
Katharine Weber
#16. Renaissance cowboy/raconteur Pop Wagner ... deadpan funny ... his presence is like meeting Woody Guthrie and Will Rogers riding a single, many colored horse. Pop is a kind of 'textile genius' who is able to spin, at once, both yarn and rope.
Ron Miles
#17. When I was doing comedy in New York, before I was in movies, I was never known as the deadpan actress. I was just a comedienne.
Aubrey Plaza
#18. You don't believe I'm cute enough to rescue? he asked, deadpan.
Lindsay Buroker
#19. Dare leaned in her window. "Be smart, Priss, and listen to Trace."
Priss scowled at him. "Why doesn't he have to listen to me?"
After a long stare-off, Dare peered past Priss to Trace and said, totally deadpan, "Listen to Priss.
Lori Foster
#20. Though the clown is often deadpan, he is a connoisseur of laughter.
Mel Gussow
#21. Kiara shook her head at his dry wit that he delivered in a perfect deadpan monotone. He was strangely entertaining in a lethal, 'I'll rip out your heat and eat it' kind of way.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#22. I'm mad at your idiot coworker. Not you. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Why would you cheat on me?"
"Because you force me to use words like piqued," Alexander replied, deadpan.
S.H. Marr
#23. Lyall's face went deadpan as he relayed the details, as those who are tortured or raped will become when they retell the pattern of abuse
Gail Carriger
#24. So, deadpan I think just means not acknowledging for one second that you think that this is funny and clever.
Patrick Warburton
#25. I never even thought of myself as deadpan until someone wrote an article about me about a year after I was doing comedy. There was a paper called the 'Boston Phoenix,' and someone wrote a description of what I was doing and that's where I first saw 'deadpan.'
Steven Wright
#26. My dad has a dry, deadpan sense of humor, and my mom has an unexpected, wacky take on things. They really encouraged laughing at ourselves and the weirdness of situations that come up growing up in politics.
Kristin Gore
#27. So are the stories true?" asked Hunter. "Depends," Becca hedged. "What have you heard?"
"That you knocked two seniors on their asses on the soccer field, then flipped off the coach."
"Absolutely true," said Becca, deadpan.
Brigid Kemmerer
#28. You think Tide is better, or All?'
'Which has a prettier box?' I ask.
'I don't want a pretty box. I want a dude box.'
Uh-huh,' I deadpan. 'You want a dude box of laundry detergent.'
'Yes, I do.'
'Good luck with that.
E. Lockhart
#29. He's fucking stone cold deadpan. His pan is so dead he could lay it in a casket and bury it at Bellevue. They made a movie about him once: Dawn of Ivan's Pan.
Charlotte Stein
#30. I don't think your girlfriend likes me." Putting on the most bored face I can muster, I add deadpan, "I'm torn up." Shaking his head at me, he mutters, "Yeah, I can see that.
Belle Aurora
