Gary L. Thomas Quotes

#1. A mask partially conceals, but it also tells us that something is behind the mask.

Gary L. Thomas

#2. Wisdom says we should try to make a relationship work not because we have strong feelings but because it's a good match.

Gary L. Thomas

#3. Any mature, spiritually sensitive view of marriage must be built on the foundation of mature love rather than romanticism. But this immediately casts us into a countercultural pursuit.

Gary L. Thomas

#4. Giving respect is an obligation, not a favor; it is an act of maturity, birthed in a profound understanding of God's good grace.

Gary L. Thomas

#5. You won't hear a character's friend say this in a romantic comedy. Taylor Swift won't sing this, Eminem won't rap it, and Suzanne Collins won't write it, but it's true: just because you're "in love" with someone doesn't mean you should seriously consider marrying them.

Gary L. Thomas

#6. The mark of a spiritual man or woman is a listening heart, not a lecturing tongue.

Gary L. Thomas

#7. The truth is, we want to be known; we truly do. But we're afraid. If you see the real me, will you run away? Am I even worth being known? Will the real me bore you? Scare you? Repulse you? And so we hide.

Gary L. Thomas

#8. Done well, marital sexuality can be a supremely healing experience.

Gary L. Thomas

#9. The Bible views us as recipients of God's perfect love, already charged with an important life mission (seeking first the kingdom of God), and thus the decision to marry, though crucial, won't define us. Nor will who we marry define us.

Gary L. Thomas

#10. Long-term marital intimacy requires accepting this truth: to stop giving yourself to your spouse is to spiritually divorce them.

Gary L. Thomas

#11. One of the best wedding gfts God gave you was a full-length mirror called your spouse. Had there been a card attached, it would have said, "Here's to helping you discover what you're really like!" - Gary and Betsy Ricucci

Gary L. Thomas

#12. A Christian is never dependent on the response of others to grow spiritually. It's our own heart's decisions that matter

Gary L. Thomas

#13. A defeatist attitude kills almost as many marriages as do affairs.

Gary L. Thomas

#14. If you remove the cross from Christianity, all that remains is some wise moral teaching not terribly different from any other religion.

Gary L. Thomas

#15. You don't marry a position. You marry a person.

Gary L. Thomas

#16. Couples don't fall out of love so much as they fall out of repentance.

Gary L. Thomas

#17. Repentance, contrary to popular misconception, is not a heroic first step I make toward Christ, nor is it a feeling-sorry-for my sins. It is the divine gift of being turned toward truth. William Willimon

Gary L. Thomas

#18. In case you've never thought about it, a woman's body changes much more rapidly than her character does.

Gary L. Thomas

#19. This is the reality of the human heart, the inevitability of two sinful people pledging to live together, with all their faults, for the rest of their lives.

Gary L. Thomas

#20. We conceal, but God wants to heal, and to do that, He must first expose.

Gary L. Thomas

#21. Christianity does not direct us to focus on finding the right person; it calls us to become the right person. Our

Gary L. Thomas

#22. Being "married for a mission" can revitalize a lot of marriages in which the partners think they suffer from a lack of compatibility; my suspicion is that many of these couples actually suffer from a lack of purpose.

Gary L. Thomas

#23. Contempt is conceived with expectations. Respect is conceived with expressions of gratitude. We can choose which one we will obsess over - expectations, or thanksgivings.

Gary L. Thomas

#24. What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?

Gary L. Thomas

#25. We are told to seek first the kingdom of God, not seek first marriage.

Gary L. Thomas

#26. We bring nothing to God, and He gives us everything.

Gary L. Thomas

#27. Our souls are wired for what we will never enjoy until Eden is restored in the new heaven and earth. We are built with a distant memory of Eden.8

Gary L. Thomas

#28. If you want to be free to serve Jesus, there's no question - stay single. Marriage takes a lot of time. But if you want to become more like Jesus, I can't imagine any better thing to do than to get married. Being married forces you to face some character issues you'd never have to face otherwise.

Gary L. Thomas

#29. I'm going to ask you to do something that may feel even more painful: when you get close to becoming engaged, put any public announcement on delay for a few weeks and spend several sessions talking through all these issues again with someone else present.

Gary L. Thomas

#30. Abraham's servant prayed for success: "O LORD, the God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today, and show lovingkindness to my master Abraham" (Gen. 24:12 NASB). This is the first time in Scripture that we read of someone asking God for specific guidance.

Gary L. Thomas

#31. A good marriage isn't something you find; it's something you make.

Gary L. Thomas

#32. The story of Isaac and Rebekah is an account of what was, but not necessarily of what should be for all of God's people.

Gary L. Thomas

#33. Lying about what you want out of marriage going in because you're afraid you'll lose the relationship if you are honest is one of the worst kinds of fraud you could ever commit.

Gary L. Thomas

#34. I may not receive any new insights and God may not feel particularly close. This has taught me that the demand for spiritual experience can be as gluttonous as the desire for food, money, or sex. Desire for spiritual highs needs to be contained so that we can develop other parts of our being.

Gary L. Thomas

#35. Christian love must be chased after, aspired to, and practiced.

Gary L. Thomas

#36. Like everything which is not the involuntary result of fleeting emotion but the creation of time and will, any marriage, happy or unhappy, is infinitely more interesting than any romance, however passionate. W. H. Auden

Gary L. Thomas

#37. This is a book that looks at how we can use the challenges, joys, struggles, and celebrations of marriage to draw closer to God and to grow in Christian character.

Gary L. Thomas

#38. With Christ in us and the Holy Spirit transforming us, we really have no excuse for continuing immaturity.

Gary L. Thomas

#39. The reality of the human condition is such that, according to Porter (and I agree), we must "salvage our fragments of happiness" out of life's inevitable sufferings.

Gary L. Thomas

#40. The church must not teach the submission of wives apart from the sacrificial love and servanthood required of husbands.

Gary L. Thomas

#41. What if your husband's faults are God's tools to shape you? What if the very thing that most bugs you about your man constitutes God's plan to teach you something new? Are you willing to accept that your marriage makeover - the process of moving a man - might begin with you?

Gary L. Thomas

#42. We can use marriage for the same purpose - to grow in our service, obedience, character, pursuit, and love of God.

Gary L. Thomas

#43. Neurologists tell us a startling truth that has major implications for spiritual formation: Our choices and experience shape our brain, both literally and physiologically. What we choose cognitively helps make us into who we are.

Gary L. Thomas

#44. He planted marriage among humans as yet another signpost pointing to his own eternal, spiritual existence.

Gary L. Thomas

#45. I wouldn't be surprised if many marriages end in divorce largely because one or both partners are running from their own revealed weaknesses as much as they are running from something they can't tolerate in their spouse.

Gary L. Thomas

#46. This is the journey marriage calls us to, to seek to understand and empathize, for each of us to strive to become a redemptive partner rather than a legal opponent.

Gary L. Thomas