
Top 100 Dahl Quotes
#1. In fairy-tales, witches always wear silly black hats and black cloaks, and they ride on broomsticks. But this is not a fairy-tale. This is about REAL WITCHES. The most important thing you should know about REAL WITCHES is this. Listen very carefully. Never forget what is coming next.
Roald Dahl
#2. Unless you have been to boarding-school when you are very young, it is absolutely impossible to appreciate the delights of living at home.
Roald Dahl
#3. As in Athens, the right to participate was restricted to men, just as it was also in all later democracies and republics until the twentieth century.
Robert A. Dahl
#5. loading the dreams, the BFG and Sophie disappeared over the mountains on
Roald Dahl
#6. Like your sweet, affectionate house cat, Alice Dahl is easy to underestimate. It's not until the songbirds in the yard show up eviscerated on the front porch that you realize you should've kept that bell collar on her - because those poor birds never even saw her coming.
Elle Lothlorien
#7. When he was sure that all his precious dreams had
Roald Dahl
#8. As George removed the cork and began very slowly to pour the thick brown stuff into the spoon,
Roald Dahl
#9. We make realities out of our dreams and dreams out of our realities. We are the dreamers of the dream.
Roald Dahl
#10. There is no place I know that compares to pure imagination.
Roald Dahl
#11. This is Mr. Bucket. This is Mrs. Bucket. Mr. and Mrs. Bucket have a small boy whose name is Charlie Bucket.
Roald Dahl
#12. Bunkum and tummyrot! You'll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that. Would Columbus have discovered America if he'd said 'What if I sink on the way over? What if I meet pirates? What if I never come back?' He wouldn't even have started.
Roald Dahl
#13. We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.
Roald Dahl
#14. Had I not had children of my own, I would have never written books for children, nor would I have been capable of doing so.
Roald Dahl
#15. Mr. Bucket was the only person in the family with a job. He worked in a toothpaste factory, where he sat all day long at a bench and screwed the little caps onto the tops of the tubes of toothpaste after the tubes had been filled.
Roald Dahl
#16. She'd never felt more powerful. She wanted to do this again. In an hour. In the middle of the night. In the morning. She wanted to wake up like this, shaking and strong and whole and broken all at once.
Victoria Dahl
#17. You ignorant little slug!" the Trunchbull bellowed. "You witless weed! You empty-headed hamster! You stupid glob of glue!
Roald Dahl
#18. A message To the children who have read this book. When you grow up and have children of your own, do please remember something important. A stodgy parent is no fun at all! What a child wants -and DESERVES- is a parent who is SPARKY! - Danny, the champion of the world.
Roald Dahl
#19. If my books can help children become readers, then I feel I have accomplished something important.
Roald Dahl
#20. A few weeks later, in the wood,
I came across Miss Riding Hood.
But what a change! No cloak of red,
No silly hood upon her head.
She said, 'Hello, and do please note
My lovely furry wolfskin coat.
Roald Dahl
#21. Edward, it will take time to find a willing and acceptable match, won't it? Decent men do not hang about at crossroads just waiting for ruined women to take them home.
Victoria Dahl
#22. The adult is the enemy of the child because of the awful process of civilizing this thing that, when it is born, is an animal with no manners, no moral sense at all.
Roald Dahl
#23. A dream is not needing anything. If it is a good one, it is waiting peaceably for ever until it is released and allowed to do its job. If it is a bad one, it is always fighting to get out.
Roald Dahl
#24. Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!
Roald Dahl
#25. If she's a lady, I'm a vernicious knid. (Eddie Albert in Willy Wanka and the Chocolate Factory)
Roald Dahl
#26. A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom. He has no master except his own soul, and that, I am sure, is why he does it
Roald Dahl
#27. Now What?" Kerensky said. "We wait," Dahl said. "For how long?" Kerensky said, " As long as dramatically appropriate," Dahl said.
John Scalzi
#28. You'll notice that the Intrepid's inertial dampeners don't work as well in crisis situations, Dahl remembered Jenkins telling them. The ship could do hairpin turns and loop-de-loops any other time and you'd never notice. But whenever there's a dramatic event, there goes your footing.
John Scalzi
#29. Mum just laughed gleefully at his mounting frustration, like the villainous matriarch in a Roald Dahl story. I suspect a TV guide would describe her idea of comedy as 'dark', or, at very best, 'alternative'.
Matthew Crow
#30. Sophie took the book out of his hand. 'Nicholas Nickleby,' she read aloud. 'By Dahl's Chickens,' the BFG said. 'By who?' Sophie said.
Roald Dahl
#31. Ben hid a wince behind his hand, trying very hard not to think of seventy-year-old Ellie Verstgard rolling around with Mr. Wenner. Despite his best resistance, the image scrolled across his brain and took some of his love for the world with it.
Victoria Dahl
#32. Poor Earthworm,' the Ladybird said, whispering in James's ear. 'He loves to make everything into a disaster. He hates to be happy. He is only happy when he is gloomy.
Roald Dahl
#33. Must be the hair then. And the name change. And your new piss-poor attitude. Because every once in a while, I look at you and I don't see a Baby Doll anymore. I just see Alice Faye Dahl, Poker Champion Badass. With obvious, heavy influences from Ronald McDonald, of course.
Elle Lothlorien
#34. All grown-ups appear as giants to small children. But Headmasters (and policemen) are the biggest giants of all and acquire a marvellously exaggerated stature.
Roald Dahl
#35. Perhaps it's chasing me. But I don't think it will ever catch me because I am moving fast.
Roald Dahl
#36. She sat there majestic in her armchair, filling every inch of it. Not even a mouse could have squeezed in to sit beside her.
Roald Dahl
#37. Yes," she spat. "I am quite picky. Often I like my seductions to consist of more than 'Hallo there. are to spread your knees for a duke?' Silly miss that I am.
Victoria Dahl
#38. Candy is dandy but liqueur is quicker.
Roald Dahl
#39. No one who is good can ever be ugly.
Roald Dahl
#40. Some children are spoiled and it is not their fault, it is their parents.
Roald Dahl
#41. I has told you five or six times,' he said, 'and the third will be the last.
Roald Dahl
#42. I was a fighter pilot, flying Hurricanes all round the Mediterranean. I flew in the Western Desert of Libya, in Greece, in Syria, in Iraq and in Egypt.
Roald Dahl
#43. Roald Dahl pioneered a new kind of literature for youngsters, one that dispensed with cant and solemnity, favoring anarchy and joy over duty and humbuggery while acknowledging that oftentimes no good deed goes unpunished. But ultimately, it was his sheer joie de vivre that carried the day.
Paul Di Filippo
#44. And when I protested a bit more, I remember he said, 'My dear Lady Ponsonby, there's nothing immoral about this. Art is only immoral when practiced by amateurs. It's the same with medicine. You wouldn't refuse to undress before your doctor, would you?
Roald Dahl
#45. Hey!' Bruno called out 'Give me the rest of that banana I was eating.
Roald Dahl
#46. Apparently falling slowly is a scientific impossibility. Falling means that you're not in control, doesn't it? I should've considered that.
Victoria Dahl
#47. On the contrary, I like men. They are polite and helpful and necessary for dancing. And men are so handsome and different, aren't they?"
"Not all of us, clearly, but I'll let that go.
Victoria Dahl
#48. I think I have this thing where everybody has to think I'm the greatest.And if they aren't completely knocked out and dazzled and slightly intimidated by me, I don't feel good about myself.
Roald Dahl
#49. Pear Drops were exciting because they had a dangerous taste. All of us were warned against eating them, and the result was that we ate them more than ever.
Roald Dahl
#50. I like you, Miss York, because you are wicked, and there can be no finer blessing for a man than a good and wicked wife. Wouldn't you agree?
Victoria Dahl
#51. I think he could handle being used. It would be good for him. He's having trouble sleeping.
Victoria Dahl
#52. I considered the years in Hollywood nothing but an interim. What I always wanted was to be was a musical comedy star.
Arlene Dahl
#54. If it's by an American it's certain to be filth. That's all they write about.
Roald Dahl
#55. There was an air of menace about them as they loped slowly across the plain with long lolloping strides, heading for the BFG.
Roald Dahl
#56. Ah, Piglet, you must never trust
Young ladies from the upper crust.
Roald Dahl
#57. Careful those who fight with monsters, that they might become monsters themeselves.
Roald Dahl
#58. The President sucked in his breath sharply. He also sucked in a big fly that happened to be passing at the time. He choked.
Roald Dahl
#59. I shot down some German planes and I got shot down myself, crashing in a burst of flames and crawling out, getting rescued by brave soldiers.
Roald Dahl
#61. Did they preach one thing and practice another, these men of God?
Roald Dahl
#62. Oh, books, what books they used to know, Those children living long ago! So please, oh please, we beg, we pray, Go throw your TV set away, And in its place you can install A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Roald Dahl
#63. The air became colder still and everything became paler
Roald Dahl
#64. I doubt I would have written a line ... unless some minor tragedy had sort of twisted my mind out of the normal rut.
Roald Dahl
#65. They is all at least two times my wideness and double my royal highness!
Roald Dahl
#66. Good strong hair,' he was fond of saying, 'means there's a good strong brain underneath.' 'Like Shakespeare,' Matilda had once said to him. 'Like who?' 'Shakespeare, Daddy.' 'Was he brainy?' 'Very, Daddy.' 'He had masses of hair, did he?' 'He was bald, Daddy.
Roald Dahl
#67. Some three years ago I drove down to Provence to spend a summer weekend with a lady who was interesting to me simply because she possessed an extraordinarily powerful muscle in a region where other women have no muscles at all.
Roald Dahl
#68. All Norwegian children learn to swim when they are very young because if you can't swim it is difficult to find a place to bathe.
Roald Dahl
#69. Though my father was Norwegian, he always wrote his diaries in perfect English.
Roald Dahl
#70. *Life is a series of thousands of tiny miracles. Notice them.
*No book ever ends when it's full of friends.
Roald Dahl
#71. 'Dexter' is a very well-oiled machine; it's just a great show and great to be part of.
Roald Dahl
#72. Perhaps his anger was intensified because he saw her getting pleasure from something that was beyond his reach.
Roald Dahl
#73. Matilda said nothing. She simply sat there admiring the wonderful effect of her own handiwork. Mr Wormwood's fine crop of black hair was now a dirty silver, the colour this time of a tightrope-walker's tights that had not been washed for the entire circus season.
Roald Dahl
#74. Your daughter's a cheat and a liar, the father said,
Roald Dahl
#75. Glorious as it had been, the city-state was obsolete.
Robert A. Dahl
#76. Homesickness is a bit like seasickness. You don't know how awful it is unti you get it, and when you do, it hits you right in the top of the stomach and you want to die.
Roald Dahl
#77. Eschew all those beastly adjectives ...
Roald Dahl
#78. Lori sat way back in her chair and gave him the once-over. What in the world's gotten into Ben Lawson? jokes? Flirting? Maybe I should sleep with Molly. I think she's got a magic hooha.
Victoria Dahl
#79. The nastier the dream, the angrier it is getting when it is in prison,' the BFG said.
Roald Dahl
#80. But she beat that voice down and stomped on it with imaginary work boots. Those steel-toed monsters were good for something.
Victoria Dahl
#81. I'm afraid the camera got smashed against the side of the Space Hotel, Mr. President, Shuckworth replied. The President said a very rude word into the microphone and ten million children across the nation began repeating it gleefully and got smacked by their parents.
Roald Dahl
#82. Here it is,' Nigel said.
Mrs D, Mrs I, Mrs FFI, Mrs C, Mrs U, Mrs LTY. That spells difficulty.'
How perfectly ridiculous!' snorted Miss Trunchbull. 'Why are all these women married?
Roald Dahl
#83. It was slowly beginning to dawn upon Henry that nothing is any fun if you can get as much of it as you want. Especially money.
Roald Dahl
#84. A life is made up of a great number of small incidents, and a small number of great ones.
Roald Dahl
#85. Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you.
Roald Dahl
#86. But where, you might ask, is this book that the BFG wrote? It's right here. You've just finished reading it.
Roald Dahl
#87. I go down to my little hut, where it's tight and dark and warm, and within minutes I can go back to being six or seven or eight again.
Roald Dahl
#88. It was no good. The moonbeam was like a silver blade slicing through the room on to her face. The
Roald Dahl
#89. George didn't say a word. He felt quite trembly. He knew something tremendous had taken place that morning. For a few brief moments he had touched with the very tips of his fingers the edge of a magic world.
Roald Dahl
#90. When writing about oneself, one must strive to be truthful. Truth is more important than modesty.
Roald Dahl
#91. All the reading she had done had given her a view of life that they had never seen.
Roald Dahl
#92. There is little point in teaching anything backwards. The whole object of life, Headmistress, is to go forwards.
Roald Dahl
#93. She might not do it tonight, and she might not do it with that French boy, but she was going to get laid, and soon, because she was forty-three years old and she damn well needed it.
Victoria Dahl
#94. You seemed so far away," Miss Honey whispered, awestruck.
"Oh, I was. I was flying past the stars on silver wings," Matilda said. "It was wonderful.
Roald Dahl
#95. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.
Roald Dahl
#97. I am only 8 years old, I told myself. No little boy of 8 has ever murdered anyone. It's not possible.
Roald Dahl
#98. Really, Your Grace. Crooking your little finger again? At least buy me a bauble before you try to tup me in the carriage.
Victoria Dahl
#99. A newt, she decided, was a useful thing to have around.
Roald Dahl
#100. If I were a headmaster, I would get rid of the history teacher and get a chocolate teacher instead and my pupils would study a subject that affected all of them.
Roald Dahl
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