Comedy George Carlin Quotes

#1. The Gospel edifies and evangelizes at the same time.

D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones

#2. I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.

George Carlin

#3. As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up.

George Carlin

#4. Comedy, I figured, was the thing that came to me the most easily. Playing the trumpet and piano took practice. I thought that was a waste of time. I'd go out on the street corner and be funny. In a minute.

George Carlin

#5. The temple will be an ever-present reminder that God intended the family to be eternal.

Ezra Taft Benson

#6. Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.

George Carlin

#7. Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken word, the writing that goes into it is an art form - it's certainly artistry.

George Carlin

#8. choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet. Constantin's

Sylvia Plath

#9. I would only believe in a god who could dance.

Friedrich Nietzsche

#10. I think of shock as kind of an uptown form of surprise. Comedy is filled with surprise, so when I cross a line ... I like to find out where the line might be and then cross it deliberately, and then make the audience happy about crossing the line with me.

George Carlin

#11. If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.

George Carlin

#12. There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.

George Carlin

#13. They're not pro-life. You know what they are? They're anti-woman. Simple as it gets, anti-woman. They don't like them. They don't like women. They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a brood mare for the state.

George Carlin

#14. Everybody is different. Some comedy is more musical like Steven Wright. His is a pillar of comedy to me. He invented a whole form and all his jokes are poems. So it's different. I wanted to do it like George Carlin. Now I do it like me.

Louis C.K.

#15. I had several girlfriends, but nothing lasted. I'd date one for a few months, and then start thinking: This isn't what I want.

Haruki Murakami

#16. I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.

Drew Carey

#17. I love comedy and I would write things to myself as an exercise in writing. I didn't do well for years, and I quit. I started to break down why I was afraid and started to look at people I admired, like Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Freddie Prinze, George Carlin and all.

George Lopez

#18. It's amazing, 'cause sometimes when we're onstage, I feel like somebody's just moving the pieces. I'm just going, 'God, we don't have any control over this.' And that's magic.

Stevie Nicks

#19. If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.

George Carlin

#20. I loved George Carlin and Dean Martin. I was one of those kids who had every comedy album.

Stephen Colbert

#21. I was a huge fan of comedy and movies and TV growing up, and I was able to memorize and mimic a lot of things, not realizing that that meant I probably wanted to be an actor. I just really, really amused myself and my friends with memorizing entire George Carlin or Steve Martin albums.

Hank Azaria

#22. Everyone is "extremely nice" - and yet I feel entirely alone. ("Abandonitis").

Roland Barthes