Cleaning Humor Sayings

#1. I suppose you can never tell right off who might have a piece of Prince Charming deep down inside.

Ingrid Law

#2. Ildiko had been tempted more than a few times to cross her eyes and watch their reaction.
"Don't even think about it, wife. You'll notice half of them are sharpening or cleaning their weapons. All I need is for someone to inadvertently slice themselves open because you startled them.

Grace Draven

#3. Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward.

Kurt Vonnegut

#4. You kids today don't understand. You go into the stalls, and you sit on the toilets, and you read your comic books. But you never think about the brave cleaning supplies that gave their lives so you could have a safe place to do your business.

Beth Labonte

#5. Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday. Because you'll be dust on Monday. Because I'll be pulverizing you sometime over the weekend. And the cleaning lady ... cleans up ... dust. She dusts. And she has weekends off, so ... Monday. Right?

Bryan Lee O'Malley

#6. Western doctors are like poor plumbers. They treat a splashing tube by cleaning up the water. These plumbers are extremely apt at drying up the water, constantly inventing new, expensive, and refined methods of drying up water. Somebody should teach them how to close the tap.

Denis Parsons Burkitt

#7. If you don't smell good, then you don't look good.

Katy Elizabeth

#8. Nothing like cleaning the whole house while my siblings sing "O Canada" - #oldestchildsyndrome.

Michelle N. Onuorah

#9. Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices, which happened to be my drink of the moment. Someone told me that grapefruit was a great detoxifier and I decided I wanted to start cleaning out my liver WHILE I was having a cocktail.

Chelsea Handler

#10. The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, I want to love, I want to live ...

David Sedaris

#11. Which of us can say what the gods hold wicked?

Carol Goodman

#12. The old vacuum cleaner keeps dying on her
over and over
until at last the cleaning woman
scares it by yelling:
"Motherfucker!

Lydia Davis

#13. We're better'n them all right. We jus' don't always win.

Terry Pratchett

#14. Eric moved the broom experimentally and made an attempt to sweep the glass into the pan while it lay in the middle of the floor. Of course, the pan slid away. Eric scowled.
I'd finally found something Eric did poorly.

Charlaine Harris

#15. I mean, I may not hold the record in cleaning house either, but if I've got old milk cartons that smell like maggots I bundle them up and put them out."
"I'm on a disability pension'" he said. "I'm socially incompetent.

Stieg Larsson

#16. That's all it takes, one drop of fear to curdle love into hate.

James M. Cain

#17. How do you find a buried city in a vast landscape? Finding it randomly would be the equivalent of locating a needle in a haystack, blindfolded, wearing baseball mitts.

Sarah Parcak

#18. The delights of sight and hearing and touch will bear thy delight.

Rabindranath Tagore

#19. You size up someone physically in less than one second - too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, too old, too young, too stuffy, too scruffy.

Helen Fisher

#20. She blew out a sigh and focused her attention on the students in her class taking a test. There was nothing like a teenage boy cleaning his ears with the eraser of his pencil to squelch sexual desire.

Robin Alexander

#21. Jack Kennedy brought an "intense concentration" and a "gently teasing humor" to the dinner table, along with what Katherine Graham called his habit of "vacuum cleaning your brain.

Sally Bedell Smith

#22. With all her finesse for cleaning, Snag sometimes felt that her biggest contribution to mankind was making a mess of things.

Sere Prince Halverson

#23. And I wasn't convinced that I was the most talented person in the world.

Debbie Harry

#24. And so Harry became proficient in the task of cleaning up vomit.

Julia Quinn

#25. Let's walk down the road that has no end
Steal away where only angels tread
Heaven or hell or somewhere in between
Cross your heart to take me when you leave
Don't go
Please don't go
Don't go without me

The Civil Wars

#26. To honor our national promise to our veterans, we must continue to improve services for our men and women in uniform today and provide long overdue benefits for the veterans and military retirees who have already served.

Solomon Ortiz

#27. The Maoris, New Zealand's first Sapiens colonisers, reached the islands about 800 years ago. Within a couple of centuries, the majority of the local megafauna was extinct, along with 60 per cent of all bird species.

Yuval Noah Harari

#28. Okay, I should probably mention right here that Brandon used the real word, but this is my story, so I'm cleaning it up a little.

Rachel Hawkins

#29. It is a dark and dirty business, Will Henry. And you are well on your way." He patted my knee, not to congratulate, I think, but to console. His tone was sad and bitter. "You are well on your way.

Rick Yancey