Church Pew Sayings

#1. On that gray street, with the smell of industrial smokes in the air and the afternoon bleeding away to evening, downtown Derry looked only marginally more charming than a dead hooker in a church pew.

Stephen King

#2. Drinking is such a necessity to human life that people cannot fathom an individual who, like a child confined to a church pew, gets little enjoyment out of it and would rather do other things.

Criss Jami

#3. My mom always says I cut my teeth on the church pew.

Miranda Lambert

#4. Harrogate saw them going along Blount Avenue Sunday morning. They wore outfits all cut from the same bolt of cloth and in the church pew standing six across they looked like a strip of gaudy wallpaper cut into those linked dolls madfolk pass their time in fashioning.

Cormac McCarthy

#5. Confusius says One who farts in church sits in pew!

Grout Man

#6. The only way we know summer is coming is by the more chilling winds, the increased dust, the tawny color of the hills, and the general dying look of things.

Caroline C. Leighton

#7. the primary responsibility of any pastor or preacher who desires revival in a Church is to see that all the members are led to genuine repentance and heart faith. A corpse cannot be revived! We have too many unconverted or unsaved persons both in our pulpits and pew today.

R. Stanley

#8. At ten minutes before eleven, Lanie slipped into her usual pew at Christ Episcopal Church. At least she hoped it was her pew. People could get pretty persnickety if you took their seat, and she usually came to early service.

Alicia Hunter Pace

#9. I woke up in a dark room. The first thing I noticed was that my hands and wrists were not tied. That made me frustrated, because that meant that I was somewhere really isolated. It meant that they thought, and were probably correct, that I had no chance of escaping.

Embee

#10. I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.

W.C. Fields

#11. Begin as you mean to go on, and go on as you began, and let the Lord be all in all to you.

Charles Haddon Spurgeon

#12. Someone asked me, 'Do you pray for the dead?' I said, 'No, I preach to them! I think every pew in every church is death row. Think about that! They're dead! They sing about God; they talk about God, but they're dead! They have no living relationship (with God).

Leonard Ravenhill

#13. It appears, then, that the two processes are going on side by side, the decline of Church membership and the decline of dogma; the evacuation of the pew and the jettisoning of cargo from the pulpit.

Ronald Knox

#14. He looked up at the round, stained glass window in front of him, a blurred kaleidoscope backlit in the morning sun. It glowed. The color of heaven. Of her hair.
He sat back and cracked open the dry, leather cover of a pew Bible, and a mixture of sweat and tears christened its pristine pages.

Red Tash

#15. I still went to church regularly every Sunday; that is we all went there together. I reverenced the family pew where we had assembled for so many years; and apart from that reason I hold it dear because it is associated in my memory with my mother.

Pierre Loti

#16. During the ten years I lived in the U.K., I frequently attended an Anglican church just outside of London. I enjoyed the energetic singing and the thoughtful homilies. And yet, I found it easy to be a pew warmer, a consumer, a back row critic.

Gary Hamel

#17. You say to yourself, 'How can a little girl be a grandmother.' It takes some little time to accept and realize the fact that while you have been growing old, your friends have not been standing still, in that matter.

Mark Twain

#18. Marriage was never a destination with me.

Diane Von Furstenberg

#19. I went to church irregularly and was mostly reading comics in the pew.

Alice Sebold

#20. I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.

George Carlin

#21. No church or synagogue pew can produce a higher awareness of God than sitting at the base of a tree and observing His creation.

Donald L. Hicks

#22. This is jazz, this is funk, this is soul, this is gospel
This is sanctified sick, this is player Pentecostal.
This is church front pew, Amen, pulpit,
What my people need and the opposite of bullshit.

Killer Mike

#23. Of men who have a sense of honor, more come through alive than are slain, but from those who flee comes neither glory nor any help.

Homer

#24. Or to be naked with her friend in bed An hour or more, not meaning any harm?

William Shakespeare

#25. I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.

Tupac Shakur

#26. You must live in peace," he told us. "We are only in this world for a short period of vivid and wonderful waking in an eternity of dreamless dark.

David Almond

#27. The greatest sin today in the church is the man in the pew who is ignorant of the Bible.

J. Vernon McGee

#28. It's important to preach like there's a broken heart on every pew. That's always been a phrase that stuck with me. Not everybody is having a tough time, but you can bet your buck that there's a good tenth of your church that's going through a hard season. There really is a broken heart on every pew.

Max Lucado