Chimpanzee Quotes

#1. It is hardly an exaggeration to say that a chimpanzee kept in solitude is not a real chimpanzee at all.

Wolfgang Kohler

#2. What might happen if we could somehow reorient ourselves toward our more loving, bonobo side rather than our inner mad chimpanzee?

Susan Block

#3. When I was 7 and went to the zoo with my second-grade class, I saw chimpanzee eyes for the first time - the eyes of an unhappy animal, all alone, locked in a bare, concrete-floored, iron-barred cage in one of the nastier, old-fashioned zoos. I remember looking at the chimp, then looking away.

Octavia E. Butler

#4. Humans cannot produce viable offspring with our closest animal cousin: the chimpanzee. We cannot impregnate a chimp. So you know what that means? No condoms.

Chris Hardwick

#5. You can't teach calculus to a chimpanzee. So just share your banana.

John Rachel

#6. A chimpanzee who is really gearing up for a fight doesn't waste time with gestures but just goes ahead and attacks.

Frans De Waal

#7. An evolutionary biologist and a fundamentalist may see the same chimpanzee sitting in a cage, but in another important way, they do not. And they may approach the details of their lives in very different ways.

Peg O'Connor

#8. We've got ninety-nine per cent the same genes as any other person. We've got ninety per cent the same as a chimpanzee. We've got thirty per cent the same as a lettuce. Does that cheer you up at all? I love about the lettuce. It makes me feel I belong.

Caryl Churchill

#9. I'll give you a theory: Man's closest relative is not the chimpanzee, as the TV people believe, but is, in fact, the dog.

Garth Stein

#10. Considering the very close genetic relationship that has been established by comparison of biochemical properties of blood proteins, protein structure and DNA, and immunological responses, the differences between a man and a chimpanzee are more astonishing than the resemblances.

Elaine Morgan

#11. From the moment when, staring into the eyes of a chimpanzee, I saw a thinking, reasoning personality looking back.

Jane Goodall

#12. We evolved. We have only to look at the pouting face of a young chimpanzee to laugh at its reflections of ourselves. We know that more then 98 percent of our genes are shared with the chimpanzee, but we feel the kinship directly when the furry baby puts up its arms to be held.

Alison Jolly

#13. The mass are animal, in pupilage, and near chimpanzee.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

#14. A chimpanzee is not the same category as a capuchin - chimps are half-human. I need a chimp and his name is going to be Bertie.

Jonathan Dunne

#15. Who would seriously want to listen to anything emanating from a quasi-chimpanzee's irrational bundle of mental accidents and energies?

David A. Noebel

#16. I don't think I'm a celebrity. A chimpanzee could have done what I did.

Mark David Chapman

#17. On the mantelpiece, the photograph of a chimpanzee and a statuette of the Buddha. This proximity, more accidental than intentional, makes me wonder over and over where my place might be between these two extrems, man's pre and transfiguration.

Cioran

#18. Law Number L: The average regulation has a life span one-fifth as long as a chimpanzee's and one-tenth as long as a human's, but four times as long as the official's who created it.

Norman Ralph Augustine

#19. Children, behold the Chimpanzee:
He sits on the ancestral tree
From which we sprang in ages gone.

Oliver Herford

#20. I don't like explosions. I don't mind progress. But digital photography has made every man, woman, child and chimpanzee a photographer of sorts and consequently has numbed down the general quality of photographs.

Elliott Erwitt

#21. The seed for my novel 'Half Brother' was planted in my mind over twenty years ago, but didn't germinate until late 2007 when I came across the obituary for Washoe, an extraordinary chimpanzee who had learned over 250 words of American Sign Language.

Kenneth Oppel

#22. Here was a chimpanzee using a tool... That was object modification-- the crude beginning of tool making.

Jane Goodall

#23. The chimpanzee study was - well, it's still going on, and I think it's taught us perhaps more than anything else to be a little humble; that we are, indeed, unique primates, we humans, but we're simply not as different from the rest of the animal kingdom as we used to think.

Jane Goodall

#24. One cannot watch chimpanzee infants for long without realizing that they have the same emotional need for affection and reassurance as human children.

Jane Goodall

#25. A chimpanzee could learn what I do physically, but it goes way beyond that. When you play, you play life.

Jaco Pastorius

#26. SCOTTY: She's all yours, sir. All systems automated and ready. A chimpanzee and two trainees could run her! CAPTAIN KIRK: Thank you, Mr. Scott. I'll try not to take that personally. - STAR TREK

Timothy Ferriss

#27. The gods that we've made are exactly the gods you'd expect to be made by a species that's about half a chromosome away from being chimpanzee.

Christopher Hitchens

#28. I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one

Candice Bergen

#29. No chimpanzee husband would stand by while his wife lost all her coconuts.

Kurt Vonnegut

#30. A human foetus, with no more human feeling than an amoeba, enjoys a reverence and legal protection far in excess of those granted to an adult chimpanzee. Yet

Richard Dawkins

#31. Once I saw a chimpanzee gaze at a particularly beautiful sunset for a full 15 minutes, watching the changing colors [and then] retire to the forest without picking a pawpaw for supper.

Adriaan Kortlandt

#32. To see Stephen Spender fumbling with our rich and delicate language is to experience all the horror of seeing a Sevres vase in the hands of a chimpanzee.

Evelyn Waugh

#33. Went to the Zoo, I said to Him- Something about that chimpanzee over there reminds me of you.

Carol Ann Duffy

#34. There are some circumstances, for example, where the newborn baby is severely disabled and where the parents think that it's better that child should not live, when killing the newborn baby is not at all wrong ... not like killing the chimpanzee would be.

Peter Singer

#35. Certainly the first true humans were unique by virtue of their large brains. It was because the human brain is so large when compared with that of a chimpanzee that paleontologists for years hunted for a half-ape, half-human skeleton that would provide a fossil link between the human and the ape.

Jane Goodall

#36. Nature's great mistake was to have been unable to confine herself to one "kingdom": juxtaposed with the vegetable, everything else seems inopportune, out of place. The sun should have sulked at the appearance of the first insect, and gone out altogether with the advent of the chimpanzee.

Emil M. Cioran

#37. Through my work with PETA, I have learned a great deal about chimpanzee behavior and the plight of chimpanzees imprisoned in laboratories.

Woody Harrelson

#38. If we look straight and deep into a chimpanzee's eyes, an intelligent self-assured personality looks back at us. If they are animals, what must we be?

Frans De Waal

#39. There is thus a certain plausibility to Nietzsche's doctrine, though it is dynamite. He maintains in effect that the gulf separating Plato from the average man is greater than the cleft between the average man and a chimpanzee.

Walter Kaufmann

#40. The anthropologists got it wrong when they named our species Homo sapiens ('wise man'). In any case it's an arrogant and bigheaded thing to say, wisdom being one of our least evident features. In reality, we are Pan narrans, the storytelling chimpanzee.

Terry Pratchett

#41. On the National Executive sat Charles Clarke, looking like a rather manky chimpanzee with his unkempt beard, jug ears and his air of surly aggression.

Tony Benn

#42. Shave a gorilla and it would be almost impossible, at twenty paces, to distinguish him from a heavyweight champion of the world. Skin a chimpanzee, and it would take an autopsy to prove he was not a theologian.

H.L. Mencken

#43. Man's closest relative is not the chimpanzee, as the TV people believe, but is, in fact, the dog. "Enzo"
I admire the female sex. The life makers. It must be amazing to have a body that can carry an entire creature inside. "Enzo

Garth Stein

#44. I think if you're good and you can persuade people you're going to be able to do that role and ultimately the audience buys it, then it doesn't matter whether you were really a chimpanzee in disguise! You've done it.

Alexander Siddig

#45. The Drake farmhouse was like the chimpanzee enclosure at the zoo when feeding time was late.
You know, if all the chimpanzees were undead.
And insane.

Alyxandra Harvey

#46. Hadza men were close to the average, spending more than 4 hours a day hunting - about eighty times as long as an Ngogo chimpanzee.

Richard W. Wrangham

#47. If you look at human society, it is very easy, of course, to compare our warfare and territoriality with the chimpanzee. But that's only one side of what we do. We also trade, we intermarry, we allow each other to travel through our territory. There's an enormous amount of cooperation.

Frans De Waal

#48. In time the earth will be inhabited by almost god-like beings who shall analyze and discuss the remnants of humanity as we now discuss the chimpanzee.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

#49. It's important to remember that we evolved. Now, I know that's a dirty word for some people, but we evolved from common ancestors with the gorillas, the chimpanzee and also the bonobos. We have a common past, and we have a common future.

Louise Leakey

#50. It is only when the mirror has not spoken to Chimpanzee in a plain language that it thinks it looks more better than the Gorilla

Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

#51. Imagine you're a writer, and you have decided to offer your readers a firsthand account of the politically correct primate, the idol of the left, known for its "gay" relations, female supremacy, and pacific lifestyle. Your focus is the bonobo: a close relation of the chimpanzee. You

Frans De Waal

#52. Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.

Kin Hubbard

#53. The chimpanzee and the human share about 99.5 percent of their evolutionary history, yet most human thinkers regard the chimp as a malformed, irrelevant oddity, while seeing themselves as stepping stones to the Almighty.

Robert Trivers

#54. I guess I'm just an old mad scientist at bottom. Give me an underground laboratory, half a dozen atom-smashers, and a beautiful girl in a diaphanous veil waiting to be turned into a chimpanzee, and I care not who writes the nation's laws.

S.J Perelman

#55. I still write in long hand. I type like a chimpanzee.

Pat Conroy

#56. The suffix 'naut' comes from the Greek and Latin words for ships and sailing. Astronaut suggests 'a sailor in space.' Chimponaut suggests 'a chimpanzee in sailor pants'.

Mary Roach

#57. I describe in 'Chimpanzee Politics' how the alpha male needs broad support to reach the top spot. He needs some close allies and he needs many group members to be on his side.

Frans De Waal

#58. But let us not forget that human love and compassion are equally deeply rooted in our primate heritage, and in this sphere too our sensibilities are of a higher order of magnitude than those of chimpanzees.

Jane Goodall