Top 66 Carrot Top Quotes
#1. Although the garment was beautifully designed and well made, the color, a dark velvet that captured the intense tones of a ripe plum or black cherries, would prove a jarring clash with her hair. She added ruefully, "Not with this carrot top. I'll look a fright.
Lisa Kleypas
#2. Next to her, I felt like Carrot Top in drag.
Cat re: Annette
Jeaniene Frost
#3. He's not the Darian of my childhood - the one that played jacks with me on the sidewalk, despite being a year older. Nor is he the Darian who stood up for me when Asher bullied me and called me Carrot Top until I cried.
Shannon Duffy
#4. Carrot Top is a nickname that people call me and I thought that it was more marketable.
Carrot Top
#5. But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they're part of the same ilk.
Zach Galifianakis
#7. As a bounty hunter, I have to dress the part. If I came to the door and looked like Carrot Top, you'd laugh.
Duane Chapman
#8. Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge.
Dennis Miller
#9. Follow up the interview with a phone call. If Carrot Top can figure out how to use a phone, so can you.
Tom Cole
#10. I once died my hair blonde, and it looked like an orangey-red carrot top. It was the '80s, and I was trying to look like George Michael. At the time, the ladies loved it, and I loved it too!
Nigel Barker
#11. Carrot Top ... I gave him advice once and he ran with it. He should thank me.
Rip Taylor
#12. I don't want to be known just as 'Carrot Top.' I don't always want to be this crazy, goofy guy.
Carrot Top
#13. What they call 'alt-comedy' now is basically what comedy was like in the '80s. People tried different things, and everybody went to the clubs; there was no other place. Then somehow, the clubs became infiltrated by Dice Clay and Carrot Top types.
Jen Kirkman
#14. I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.
Gilbert Gottfried
#15. Well, I think my stand-up is often kind of visual. Not like Carrot Top visual, but visual.
Michael Ian Black
#16. I have to go out for lunch and dinner because I can't cook. I need a woman to come and save me from my cooking.
Carrot Top
#17. The street in the center of town was Butts road. I stole the sign and told the audience, this must be where the assholes live. I also had a Neighborhood Crime Watch - it takes about 20 seconds to break into a house but it took me an hour to unbolt this sign.
Carrot Top
#18. People always want to put a label on you; they always want to compare you to something.
Carrot Top
#19. I didn't really have a plan of attack when I got in college.
Carrot Top
#21. I love to shop, especially in retro stores. I have about a million pairs of old-school sports shoes like Adidas, so that's probably my biggest vice.
Carrot Top
#22. My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.
Carrot Top
#23. I have a home in Orlando. That's kind of my default 'getaway' city.
Carrot Top
#24. It's our nature: Human beings like success but they hate successful people.
Carrot Top
#25. I would like to be someone like Steve Martin. That's the path I'd like to follow.
Carrot Top
#26. I never looked at Gallagher like he was a threat to me.
Carrot Top
#27. When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.
Carrot Top
#28. I've experienced plenty of times when something I think is funny doesn't do very well. And there are times when something I don't think is funny makes the audience laugh so hard.
Carrot Top
#29. My real name is Scott Thompson. I could have gone by that name, but when I started doing comedy I thought I needed to go by something that has a little more of a hook.
Carrot Top
#30. Me in drag is kind of scary, actually. It's frightening. I actually look pretty good.
Carrot Top
#31. I'm a perfectly good carrot that everyone is trying to turn into a rose. As a carrot, I have good color and a nice leafy top. When I'm carved into a rose, I turn brown and wither.
Mary Pipher
#32. Video games are so popular these days, getting the opportunity to star in one is something special. More people should do it.
Carrot Top
#33. Everybody has their own style. If you went to the movies every week and everybody acted the same way Tom Cruise did, boy, wouldn't that suck?
Carrot Top
#34. When I was younger I always thought, 'If I were ever a comedian I'd make it like a rock concert.' I wanted to generate that type of enthusiasm and excitement.
Carrot Top
#35. I've got the long hair and kind of androgynous look. It's love-hate; it's sexy, but not sexy. So it's either you get it or you don't.
Carrot Top
#36. I think, over the years, I've kind of evolved.
Carrot Top
#37. There's nothing wrong with trying to reach out to new fans.
Carrot Top
#38. Everyone has the gift of laughter inside of them. All the world is a prop.
Carrot Top
#39. On the weekends, I would go down and play these clubs in Key West or West Palm Beach or surrounding areas of Florida and then I'd go back to school for the week.
Carrot Top
#40. Some people don't realize that I've had a career pre-commercials.
Carrot Top
#41. I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, 'I wish I was that good.' People think I'm funny, and I say, 'I'm not.'
Carrot Top
#42. People do give me a hard time about my hair because it's orange and it's big.
Carrot Top
#43. Comics don't like to see other comics do well.
Carrot Top
#44. People always say to me, 'You're really attractive - in an unusual way.' No one ever just says, 'You're attractive.'
Carrot Top
#45. I always thought marketing in general was an interesting kind of thing. I always liked commercials and billboards.
Carrot Top
#46. Cookie!" The kid holds up a carrot with the feathery green still attached to the top.
"Seriously?"
The woman gives me a wide-eyed don't say anything look and walks away fast.
Pam Bachorz
#47. I've always believed that it's important to give something back to the world and community.
Carrot Top
#48. I think the more you do this and the more comfortable you become on stage, you start speaking more and becoming more of a character in yourself.
Carrot Top
#49. I had a Neighborhood Crime Watch sign in my dorm wall in college. People would come in and laugh at it. 'Where did you get it?' 'I took it. How good is their Neighborhood Crime Watch if they can't even watch their sign?'
Carrot Top
#50. It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends.
Carrot Top
#51. Some people even think I wear a wig. Do they think I went into a salon one day and said, Can you please screw this up really bad?
Carrot Top
#52. I do go through a mini depression because one minute there are people yelling and screaming for me on stage and the next I'm at home and it's dead quiet. So it takes a while to come down.
Carrot Top
#53. I always make fun of KISS because I don't particularly think their music is anything.
Carrot Top
#54. I think it's important for me, for my crew and for the audience to bring something new to each show. I have friends who have done the same act, word for word for word, for 20 years. I have a problem with that. I think the audience should see something new in each show.
Carrot Top
#55. I'd love to be animated. I've always wanted to jump off of a bridge and not be hurt, like Bugs Bunny.
Carrot Top
#56. Knowledge is like the carrot, few know by looking at the green top that the best part, the orange part, is there. Like the carrot, if you don't work for it, it will wither away and rot. And finally, like the carrot, there are a great many donkeys and jackasses that are associated with it.
Nasreddin
#57. I think it's the fact that I do something different and that I actually have some success with it. That bothers a lot of people ... especially comics.
Carrot Top
#58. The blessing is that everyone knows who I am because of the commercials.
Carrot Top
#59. Before I got addicted to comedy, I was seriously thinking about playing tennis full time. I joined the tennis team and played with a lot of professionals.
Carrot Top
#60. My way of making people like me was to make 'em laugh.
Carrot Top
#61. Like I told Howard, I can't help it that I'm beautiful.
Carrot Top
#62. Almost every day, someone asks if I ever flat iron my hair. I say, 'No, because I'm afraid it wouldn't look good and wouldn't come back curly.'
Carrot Top
#63. I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny.
Carrot Top
#64. My manager has a car payment, so I work every night.
Carrot Top
#65. In movies, you don't get reactions: Live, when you do a joke, you know in a second whether it's good or bad. But in a movie, since no one is allowed to laugh or do anything, when you're done with a scene, you're left asking, 'Was that funny?'
Carrot Top
#66. So I try not to look too far into the future because I think that everything happens and will happen for a reason.
Carrot Top
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