Books Comedy Quotes

#1. I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.

Dane Cook

#2. Your fortune teller cursed me. Foul spirits haunt every supermarket I go to. I can't show my face in Morrisons.

Steven Poore

#3. Comedy doesn't makes your IQ higher....

...

Read Science... and don't re-read books for higher IQ!

Deyth Banger

#4. Life Is Too Short--So Kiss Slowly,
Laugh Insanely, Love Truly,
And Live With Passion.

Andy Vogt

#5. Your tills are talking to me and want me to take them home. Does this often happen?

Steven Poore

#6. Allegedly, allegedly I say, the R.G.A. were extremely miffed of portrait painted of their monarch, King Tingaling XX, by Master. Portrait apparently, as it's yet t'be unveiled, depicts King Tingaling XX in rather compromisin' position with a pineapple, a wad of cash and his favourite pig, Buttercup.

Elias Zapple

#7. Can I speak to Sayvyer, please?"
"You're looking for the savior? At 1:15 a.m.?"
"No. her name's Sayvyer."
"There's no savior here. Especially not at 1:15 a.m.

Zack Love

#8. I used to love comic books, and I love American comedy, and neither are afraid to tackle big themes.

Jamie Hewlett

#9. And as their penile pain began to subside, the two men were able to form more complex thoughts, resulting in a collaborative work: the development of a worldview that might be described as penilosophy.

Zack Love

#10. When I was nine I spent a lot of my time reading books about the history of comedy, or listening to the Goons or Hancock, humour from previous generations.

Paul Merton

#11. In my experience, it's not just that serious books get a hearing on comedy shows. But serious books get a serious hearing, as well as a funny one, on comedy shows.

Michael Mandelbaum

#12. Careful," he chided with a grin. "First you talk marriage and now you're telling me what to eat. You're sounding more and more like a real girlfriend every day. Just remember, this is still our first date, so keep your hands to yourself tonight. I'm not one of those guys.

Jennifer Shirk

#13. Dating someone exclusively for four months in New York is like four years in Anchorage.

Zack Love

#14. Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.

Joan Rivers

#15. I'm a long-time fan of Rob Long, and his books are hugely re-readable, detailing the ins and outs of being a Hollywood comedy writer with a past success but with everything to prove.

Danny Wallace

#16. The male tax?"
"Yeah. The tax that men have to pay for not having to menstruate every month. Or risk getting pregnant. Or deal with the physically stronger sex in a macho world ... Women have to put up with all that stuff, so the least we men can do is pay the male tax and get the tab.

Zack Love

#17. The table was covered with food like roast chicken, roast potatoes, roast parsnips, roast turkey, roast liquorice and, the centrepiece, a roasted knight.

Elias Zapple

#18. Which is so important, I mean, that's what's so great about the books, is, you know, those two worlds are sort of, the slacker world of just comedy and laziness and then this crazy, over the top action, supernatural world, and you know, combined.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead

#19. Most books that come out with a comedy label seem to be, Eric [WAREHEIM]and I could have written, "This is our story, and this is who we are," and sort of this navel-gazing, narcissistic approach to comedy we're seeing these days.

Tim Heidecker

#20. He looks like a horse in a man costume!

Dylan Moran

#21. If we can't have comedy books written about aspects of womanhood without going into a panic attack about it, then we haven't got very far at being equal.

Helen Fielding

#22. He who writes books that aim to convince is a comedian, too, just a comedian. What has he got to offer others, apart from chains, still more chains? Fiction never liberated anyone. No one ever brought anything back from voyages through dream worlds.

Jean-Marie G. Le Clezio

#23. Having had virtually no contact with the outside world for the last few weeks, Evan had temporarily forgotten the social norms governing shopping conduct or approaching celebrities in public.

Zack Love

#24. An early editor characterized my books as 'romantic comedy for intelligent adults.' I think people see them as funny but kind. I don't set out to write either funny or kind, but it's a voice they like, quirky like me ... And you know, people like happy endings.

Elinor Lipman

#25. Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who've helped me.

Bill Hicks