Best Arse Quotes

#1. To plunder, to lie, to show your arse, are three essentials for climbing high.

Aristophanes

#2. But big people's illnesses are always made to sound big. The simple shutting and opening of the royal arse-hole was made to sound as if the world was coming to an end.

Khushwant Singh

#3. I've been a poser for f
ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.

Billy Connolly

#4. Didn't know she was spoken for."
"You do now", Jack snarled. "And the next time you try to pass off your bloody Fae nectar on a human, I'll shove your little horned head up your arse and hold it there until you stop twitching.

Caitlin Kittredge

#5. Not I, but rather the king you love so well. It appears he would see us marry. (Rowena)
My hairy arse. (Stryder)
That is much more information about your person, Lord Stryder, than I care to know. (Rowena)

Kinley MacGregor

#6. But, as Andy pointed out, if being a smart-arse was an offence, the Laundry would not exist in the first place.

Charles Stross

#7. Joules cackled with delight. "And I've still got time to moon her. You think me arse'll show up on her infrared?" The streetwise bruiser was back.

Kresley Cole

#8. It is complete loose stool water. It is arse-gravy of the worst kind. - About The Da Vinci Code

Stephen Fry

#9. People rarely pay attention to what is happening right in front of them, lad," Corin told Gabriel. "Best place to do something you want to hide, is right in front of their arse!

Andrew Lorino

#10. Watch yourself, bitch. You're nothing but a thief and gob shite scumbag with a face like an arse and a mind to go with it,

D.H. Toole

#11. Yes, but I doubt Jane Eyre is explicit about irrational fucking.' 'Ah, so you believe my only source of information is a Bildungsroman from the nineteenth century about an orphan girl who marries a gigantic arse.

Charlotte Stein

#12. I am a ginger tim. I am a boy racer. I am a housewife. I am a pain in the arse.

Joan Ellis

#13. I'd like to have a business card saying: Bruce Norris kicked your arse.

Robert Muchamore

#14. You'll be back! If you're not, then I'll come and find you. Now, do as I say and go have some fun. I want those eyes to have light in them next time I see you." He turned me around, smacked my arse and sent me on my way.

Lesley Jones

#15. I love it. Reminds me of you." "It reminds me of a man I don't like." I never want to hear it again. "I'm sorry." He nips at my neck, drawing his tongue up the length to my jawbone. "My arse is dead.

Jodi Ellen Malpas

#16. Ann Fowler was sentenced to twenty lashes in 1637 for defaming a county justice, Adam Thorowgood, with the somewhat undeferential suggestion that Captain Thorowgood could Kiss my arse.

Gail Collins

#17. No man is really at his best with someone else's hand up his arse.

Diana Gabaldon

#18. The Devil has all the best tunes? My arse! Metalville just got a new sheriff.

Mark Rice

#19. The best cure for racism is to have somebody shoot at you. Man, it does not matter then what color the arse is that comes to save yours-black or white, you're ready to give it a big fat kiss.

Wilbur Smith

#20. That's the best thing I can think of. Having a good hold on your arse always makes me feel steady.

Diana Gabaldon

#21. The only thing I can do is wipe my arse, brush my teeth, turn up and do the best work I can.

Tom Hardy

#22. If natural selection can create creationists it can manage a caterpillar with a face on its arse.

Zane Stumpo

#23. He's always checking out your arse."

Kevin's laugh died on it's way up his throat. "Are you serious? Shit, I need to work on my gaydar."

"No, you don't." Cedric folded his arms over his chest. "I'm gay and I want you. That's all you need to know.

Taylor V. Donovan

#24. Rab: Like a wee chip, Burney son?
Burney: Stick your chips up your arse!
Mary: Heeey, hey, hey, hey - manners.
Burney: Please.

Ian Pattison

#25. I always try to remember that praise and a slap on your back is only 6 inches away from a kick up the arse!

Anthony Foley

#26. Keith much preferred cats. A cat wouldn't go mad at a man traversing a wall in the dead of night; it would shrug and lick its arse

Simon Dunn

#27. Are we going to kick arse and take names, Miss Kane?" "I was thinking we'd maybe just ask them some questions. Politely.

Alexis Hall

#28. When you look at pornography, the women become objects, whereas what I'm trying to do is make the person in the photograph as important as their body. And obviously, I like tits and arse, because I just do. I like the sex of taking photographs.

Rankin

#29. Roger wondered if this was the sort of way you felt after a battle; the sheer relief of finding yourself alive and unwounded made you want to laugh and arse about, just to prove you still could.

Diana Gabaldon

#30. Ignorance might be bliss for the ignorant, but for the rest of us it's a right fucking pain in the arse

Ricky Gervais

#31. Let us thank God for valour in abstraction
For those who go their own way, will not kiss
The arse of law and order nor compound
For physical comfort at the price of pride

Louis MacNeice

#32. That is NOT the arse of a £7million player!

Eamon Dunphy

#33. I'm in love with you, you stupid arse, and I'm not losing you. Got it?" she whispered against his lips before kissing him again. Her confession had stolen his breath, so all he could do was nod. "Now, once again, how do we fix you?" she asked, when they finally parted. To

Morgan Rhodes

#34. Girlfriends aren't allowed to care if you have Stilton socks. Friends are." All the same, she gave her hands a quick, professional shake and took hold of my foot. "Plus, you might be less of a pain in the arse if you got more action.

Tana French

#35. A despairing arse will never produce a happy fart.

Frater U.D.

#36. Oh, by Moradin's itchy arse," grumbled Bruenor. "Scratched it, he did, and this one fell out.

R.A. Salvatore

#37. Pete couldn't believe how sanctimonious somebody could be just because they'd once had a soldering iron stuck up their arse.

Alexei Sayle

#38. If you EVER touch her again, you're a dead man! You got that? There'll be no lawsuit filed against you man, I'll just settle this old school. I don't know how you feel about having your fingers ripped off and shoved up your own arse, but let me tell you, I won't be gentle.

Shelly Pratt

#39. I have never heard anyone refer to any of my brothers as a nice guy ... I'm going to assume you really meant he's a pain in the arse but you like him anyway against your better judgment. - Malina MacGregor

Michelle M. Pillow

#40. 'St. Elmo's Fire' is one of my favorite films. I like the storytelling of those teenage American films. You don't get that now. Teenage American movies are all about sick jokes, puking a lot, arse jokes.

James McAvoy

#41. As for Gordon Brown - I've described him and Blair as two cheeks of the same arse.

George Galloway

#42. If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a lift, I could write a better song on the walls.

Dylan Moran