Artemus Ward Quotes

#1. Artemus Ward used that trick a good deal; then when the belated audience presently caught the joke he would look up with innocent surprise, as if wondering what they had found to laugh at. Dan Setchell used it before

Mark Twain

#2. If you believe the past can't be changed, you haven't read a celebrity's autobiography.

Sam Ewing

#3. I interned at the NFL Network while I was in college, but I have not had an internship or another job other than football in a very long time.

Clay Matthews III

#4. Everyone on the planet has a dark and a light. That's a multi-dimensional character.

Lisa Cholodenko

#5. If I had been elected president in 1948, history would be vastly different. I believe we would have stemmed the growth of Big Government, which had begun with the New Deal and culminated with the Great Society.

Strom Thurmond

#6. Being solitary isn't a disease that needs a cure.

Natasha Pulley

#7. Things happen in these kinds of towns that could never happen anywhere else - proud, poor kids make things happen with more heat, and intensity, and attack, than could ever be managed somewhere with pleasant villages or well-tended gardens.

Caitlin Moran

#8. Emery gives me a rock that she's colored on. She whispers in my ear. You can smash people's fingers with it when they're mean.

Jillian Dodd

#9. I am happiest when I am idle. I could live for months without performing any kind of labor, and at the expiration of that time I should feel fresh and vigorous enough to go right on in the same way for numerous more months.

Artemus Ward

#10. Free verse'? You may as well call sleeping in a ditch 'free architecture'.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

#11. Jacques Derrida is a very important thinker and philosopher who has made serious contributions to both philosophy and literary criticism. Roland Barthes is the one I feel most affinity for, and Michel Foucault, well, his writing influenced my novel, 'Middlesex.'

Jeffrey Eugenides

#12. Seeking excellence means choosing to forge your own sword to cut through the limitations of your life ...

James A. Murphy

#13. Yesterday's abomination is today's rule.

Robert Lane Greene

#14. When laced into his clothing, Laurent's dangerous grace lent him an almost androgynous quality. Or perhaps it was more accurate to say that it was rare to associate Laurent with a physical body at all: you were always dealing with a mind.

C.S. Pacat

#15. Along the way, he followed his own advice and snagged a pair of mismatched daggers from the corpses of fallen archers. They weren't as well-made as the ones he'd taken from the dead rogue, but they had pointy ends he could stab into people and that was really all that mattered in a dagger.

Drew Hayes

#16. I have never heard any of your lectures, but from what I can learn I should say that for people who like the kind of lectures you deliver, they are just the kind of lectures such people like. Yours respectfully, O. Abe.

Artemus Ward

#17. Senator Barack Obama is a gifted and eloquent young man who I think can do great things for our country.

Joe Lieberman

#18. Elmo, a character A.J. has always despised because he seems too needy. "Elmo!

Gabrielle Zevin