Zweibel Quotes

#1. Lust fades, so you'd better be with someone who can stand you.

Alan Zweibel

#2. Whether it's an innate ability or an acquired way of regarding the world around us, being labeled as funny can only be accepted as a compliment.

Alan Zweibel

#3. WIth football you can have up to 28 guys you consider starters, and if they can pick up the slack when some aren't playing so well, you don't have to turn those two game losing streaks into six-game losing streaks.

Tom Brady

#4. My job is to put words together and tell a story. If that doesn't work for you, it's not a war crime.

Alan Zweibel

#5. Secure the radius!

Alan Zweibel

#6. I've been writing for people long enough to know that it has got to feel comfortable coming out of their mouths, especially when you're doing something that is first person and is so near and dear to you.

Alan Zweibel

#7. I haven't written a brochure yet. It's killing me. I know I have a brochure or pamphlet in me yet.

Alan Zweibel

#8. I am not an actor. Yes, every so often I appear on talk shows to promote something I've written, and I enjoy doing so because I have a lot of stories to tell, and I like making audiences laugh. But that's not acting. That's just me being me.

Alan Zweibel

#9. It's an intangible thing, this thing we call talent, especially if we're in a position to teach and mentor others.

Alan Zweibel

#10. When love is strong enough it can even cause Fate to change her course

P.C. Cast

#11. Writers are born, not made. We can hone the craft. We need to try to encourage someone and make a dialogue, suggesting ways to do something differently or how to improve.

Alan Zweibel

#12. Tim, shut it. I'm not going to sell out the hootchie to save the fae.

Elle Casey

#13. I experimented with my own one-man show a couple of years ago in Aspen when HBO used to have their comedy festival there. I called it 'A History of Me.'

Alan Zweibel

#14. I wasn't a class clown, I just found at an early age that I was able to make people laugh. So I mostly wrote funny stuff instead of writing what I was supposed to be writing.

Alan Zweibel

#15. I've known Alan Zweibel since 1975, and I've always had this sneaking suspicion that he might possess a sense of humor. After reading CLOTHING OPTIONAL, I'm almost sure he does.

Rob Reiner

#16. The job is to ask questions-it always was-and to ask them as inexorably as I can. And to face the absence of precise answers with a certain humility.

Arthur Miller

#17. The German asparagus are fabulous.

George W. Bush

#18. There is nothing more uncommon than common sense.

Frank Lloyd Wright

#19. Writers are lucky. Whatever the mood, no matter the longing, the writer can use his words to connect himself to any world he wishes to visit.

Alan Zweibel

#20. I write. This is what I do. My job is to sit down with my vocabulary, select words, and decide what order they should be placed in an attempt to keep someone's attention and perhaps provide them with a laugh or two along the way.

Alan Zweibel

#21. Britain, relative to the U.S., is a highly secular society. Philanthropy alone cannot fill the gap left by government cutbacks. And the sources of altruism go deep into our evolutionary past.

Jonathan Sacks

#22. I've been very lucky. I've written for most of my idols and the contemporaries.

Alan Zweibel

#23. Alan Zweibel is the funniest writer in the world. He might be even funnier when he's naked, but I'm afraid to find out.

Dave Barry

#24. I've had a bris, was Bar Mitzvahed and, on occasion, have referred to a temple as a shul. I've never denied it, nor have I disguised it. I am, indeed, a Jew.

Alan Zweibel

#25. Eroticism thrives in the space between the self and the other.

Esther Perel

#26. Reading Alan Zweibel makes me laugh out loud. And yet it is not a particularly funny name.

Eric Idle