You Might Be A Redneck If Quotes

#1. You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

Jeff Foxworthy

#2. You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

Jeff Foxworthy

#3. You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

Jeff Foxworthy

#4. You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

Jeff Foxworthy

#5. You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

Jeff Foxworthy

#6. You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

Jeff Foxworthy

#7. You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light

Jeff Foxworthy

#8. You might be a redneck if ... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

Jeff Foxworthy

#9. You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

Jeff Foxworthy

#10. You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

Jeff Foxworthy

#11. You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

Jeff Foxworthy

#12. You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

Jeff Foxworthy

#13. You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

Jeff Foxworthy

#14. You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

Jeff Foxworthy

#15. You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

Jeff Foxworthy

#16. You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

Jeff Foxworthy

#17. You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

Jeff Foxworthy

#18. You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

Jeff Foxworthy

#19. You might be a redneck if ... you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.

Jeff Foxworthy

#20. You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

Jeff Foxworthy

#21. You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

Jeff Foxworthy

#22. You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

Jeff Foxworthy

#23. You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

Jeff Foxworthy

#24. You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

Jeff Foxworthy

#25. You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

Jeff Foxworthy

#26. You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

Jeff Foxworthy

#27. You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.

Jeff Foxworthy

#28. You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

Jeff Foxworthy

#29. You might be a redneck if ... your high school basketball game got rained out.

Jeff Foxworthy

#30. You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

Jeff Foxworthy

#31. You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

Jeff Foxworthy

#32. You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

Jeff Foxworthy

#33. You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

Jeff Foxworthy

#34. You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

Jeff Foxworthy

#35. You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

Jeff Foxworthy

#36. You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

Jeff Foxworthy

#37. You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

Jeff Foxworthy

#38. You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

Jeff Foxworthy

#39. You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?

Jeff Foxworthy

#40. You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn ...

Jeff Foxworthy

#41. You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

Jeff Foxworthy

#42. You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

Jeff Foxworthy

#43. You might be a redneck if ... your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Jeff Foxworthy

#44. You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

Jeff Foxworthy

#45. You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.

Jeff Foxworthy

#46. You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

Jeff Foxworthy

#47. You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

Jeff Foxworthy

#48. You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

Jeff Foxworthy

#49. You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.

Jeff Foxworthy

#50. You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

Jeff Foxworthy

#51. You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

Jeff Foxworthy

#52. You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

Jeff Foxworthy

#53. You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

Jeff Foxworthy

#54. You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

Jeff Foxworthy

#55. You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

Jeff Foxworthy

#56. You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

Jeff Foxworthy

#57. You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.

Jeff Foxworthy

#58. You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

Jeff Foxworthy

#59. You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

Jeff Foxworthy

#60. You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

Jeff Foxworthy

#61. You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

Jeff Foxworthy

#62. You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

Jeff Foxworthy

#63. You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.

Jeff Foxworthy

#64. You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

Jeff Foxworthy

#65. You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

Jeff Foxworthy

#66. You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

Jeff Foxworthy

#67. You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

Jeff Foxworthy

#68. You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

Jeff Foxworthy

#69. You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

Jeff Foxworthy

#70. You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.

Jeff Foxworthy

#71. You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

Jeff Foxworthy

#72. You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

Jeff Foxworthy

#73. You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

Jeff Foxworthy

#74. You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

Jeff Foxworthy

#75. You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Jeff Foxworthy

#76. You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

Jeff Foxworthy

#77. You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

Jeff Foxworthy

#78. You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

Jeff Foxworthy

#79. You might be a redneck if ... you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

Jeff Foxworthy

#80. You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

Jeff Foxworthy

#81. You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

Jeff Foxworthy

#82. You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

Jeff Foxworthy

#83. You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

Jeff Foxworthy

#84. You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

Jeff Foxworthy

#85. You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

Jeff Foxworthy

#86. You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

Jeff Foxworthy

#87. You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

Jeff Foxworthy

#88. You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

Jeff Foxworthy

#89. You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

Jeff Foxworthy

#90. You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

Jeff Foxworthy

#91. You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

Jeff Foxworthy

#92. You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

Jeff Foxworthy

#93. You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

Jeff Foxworthy

#94. You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

Jeff Foxworthy

#95. You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

Jeff Foxworthy

#96. You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

Jeff Foxworthy

#97. You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

Jeff Foxworthy

#98. You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

Jeff Foxworthy

#99. You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

Jeff Foxworthy

#100. You might be a redneck if ... Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

Jeff Foxworthy