Will Humphries Quotes

#1. Time is of the essence,
The crowd and players
Are the same age always,
But the man in the stand,
Is older every season.

Rolfe Humphries

#2. Sport is a loathsome and dangerous pursuit.

Barry Humphries

#3. I like people who are slightly unhygienic. A little grubbiness isn't so bad. BO chic it should be called.

Barry Humphries

#4. My husband passed away a long time ago, and of course a lot of people have courted me. I've been taken to dinner and also to things like Larry Hagman, in particular years ago. And more recently, of course, little Hugh Jackman - and he's too young for me though, frankly.

Barry Humphries

#5. I've played Beckett. I put on in the 1950s the first Australian production of 'Waiting for Godot.' I played Estragon. The most interesting conversation I've had about Beckett was with a Dublin taxi driver.

Barry Humphries

#6. I don't talk to media or anyone before games. I just put my headphones on, turn up some hip-hop, and get in the zone.

Kris Humphries

#7. We all, to some extent, reinvent ourselves. Jeffrey (Archer) has just gone to a bit more trouble.

Barry Humphries

#8. Those women with collagen lips just look like frogs - 'muffin mouths,' I call them. There's not a line on their brows, and all the emotion gone from their faces, like all those actresses in 'Desperate Housewives.'

Barry Humphries

#9. I've turned from an ordinary Australian housewife into a gigastar, icon, talk-show host, swami, spin doctor ... and now I'm a style guru!

Barry Humphries

#10. I'm an immensely shy and vulnerable woman. My husband has never seen me naked. Nor has he expressed the least desire to do so.

Barry Humphries

#11. In Australia, they really want to turn me into a religion. A religion! Can you imagine? The Church of Edna? Oh. I don't want to be over-revered.

Barry Humphries

#12. It was a sh*t sandwich.

Kris Humphries

#13. Oddly enough, Dame Edna is not interested in show business. Her friends in Los Angeles are mostly in the world of petroleum. She used to have some acting friends. Sadly, Joan Rivers has passed on. Larry Hagman was a close friend. A number of others.

Barry Humphries

#14. I also eat fruit instead of drinking juices. That's something I've read up on. I think that if you drink a lot of fruit juice you take in way too much sugar. You'd be better off eating a bunch of strawberries or apples.

Kris Humphries

#15. I Sellotape whole tins of sardines to my face at night, attach two squeezed lemon rinds to my armadillo-skinned elbows, and put cucumber on my eyes. By the time I'm finished, I look like a fruit salad with added fish. In the morning, the pillow is pretty much a write-off.

Barry Humphries

#16. I have charity work that I do. I started my own charity, the Friends of the Prostate, and I'm also working on awareness of the deviated septum. I do this because not many people are interested in it. There's also Save the Funnel-web - they're dying out.

Barry Humphries

#17. I feel like I've cheated. I never knew what to do. I was never a good enough painter to earn a living, and so I drifted into the theatre, and I've had a successful life. I feel guilty that I've never done a day's work in my life!

Barry Humphries

#18. I think of myself as an actor. The duty of an actor is to be able to impersonate anything - a child, an old man, a tree, a chair, a woman.

Barry Humphries

#19. Glamour comes from within. My beauty regime begins with my personality.

Barry Humphries

#20. I eat about 4,500 calories every day, but I eat only nutritious, organic foods, and I don't eat added sugars.

Kris Humphries

#21. [Kim Kardashian] is one of the hardest-working women I've been around ever.

Kris Humphries

#22. People only watch my shows for me, and those shows have remained evergreen long after the guests are forgotten.

Barry Humphries

#23. The truth is deafening, no matter how softly it is spoken.

Barry Humphries

#24. If you have to explain satire to someone, you might as well give up.

Barry Humphries

#25. There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously.

Barry Humphries

#26. I have got to the point in my life when a lot of people I know have died or are dying, so I realise that somewhere outside the pearly gates is a queue, shuffling nearer and nearer to the celestial box office.

Barry Humphries

#27. I think the way I eat is the foundation of my performance.

Kris Humphries

#28. When people laugh at me, they are not laughing in the way that they normally would at a comedian. They are laughing with relief, because the truth has been spoken, and political correctness has not strangled this particular gigastar.

Barry Humphries

#29. I really feel sorry for kids who aren't interested in history - recent history, either, because it is this that made us what we are.

Barry Humphries

#30. My parents were very pleased that I was in the army. The fact that I hated it somehow pleased them even more.

Barry Humphries