Virtual Cubicle Quotes

#1. I wake up from dreams and go, Wow, put this down on paper. The whole thing is strange. You hear the words, everything is right there in front of your face.

Michael Jackson

#2. My oldest son used to say his stomach had angries when he felt sick.
I always pictured an all night fight club for finger foods!!

Neil Leckman

#3. I'm definitely drawn to things that are new, so something specifically for me would have been fun.

Cheyenne Jackson

#4. Bad questions at employment interviews:
Is your drug test graded on a curve?

Neil Leckman

#5. If I were a candy bar I'd want to be a snicker, because then I'd have the last laugh!!

Neil Leckman

#6. I like to provide American humor for British soccer coaches when possible. During keeper practice I'll offer to stand behind the goal and shag a few balls!!

Neil Leckman

#7. They say you don't know what you don't know until you know that you don't know it.

Neil Leckman

#8. The part of me which wanders through my mind and never sees or feels actual objects, but which lives in and moves through my passions and my emotions, experiences this world as a horrible nightmare.

Jack Henry Abbott

#9. Freedom may be the most important thing in life, but there's such a thing as too much freedom.

Truman Capote

#10. I loved too sincerely, too completely, I venture to say, to be able to be happy easily.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau

#11. I flunked out of mime school. I could never hear what the instructor was saying!!!

Neil Leckman

#12. Mountaineers know that all mountains are in a constant state of collapse - their verticality being inescapably and inevitably worn down every moment by wind, water, weather, and gravity - but

Dan Simmons

#13. Life in this form is one-time chance, death is the inevitable consequence for anyone who is born. The record of one's death is the primary respect one could render to the lost one. Tears of all relatives of missing people are indeed flowing due to this invaluable action by the authority.

Nilantha Ilangamuwa

#14. This avatar appeared inside a huge virtual call center, inside a virtual cubicle, sitting at a virtual desk, in front of a virtual computer, wearing a virtual phone headset. I thought of this place as my own private virtual hell.

Ernest Cline

#15. We started our journey across the waistlands by folowing the enormous belt!!

Neil Leckman

#16. Has anybody ever written a horror pop-up book? The center of the book pops up and opens the gate to the elder gods. Of course you'll want to shrink wrap these books because you want people to buy them before they get sucked into another dimension.

Neil Leckman

#17. When I was little and my mom got mad at me she would always say, "You know you can be replaced".
I have often wondered if I was.

Neil Leckman

#18. Sometimes I wake up and wonder if those chalk outlines they have at murder scenes get together for holiday parties ...

Neil Leckman

#19. Willing sets you free: that is the true doctrine of will and freedom
thus Zarathustra instructs you.

Friedrich Nietzsche

#20. I think what I need to do is stay awake while I'm sleeping so I can see what I'm dreaming better!!

Neil Leckman

#21. If you sleep with one eye open are your dreams only half as good as everyone elses?

Neil Leckman

#22. You know what they say. One man's joke is another man's brother

Neil Leckman

#23. I've always been afraid that someone would steal my identity some day and be more successful at being me than I am!!

Neil Leckman

#24. Overheard vampire conversation.
"Is that Ophelia?"
"yep"
"She doesn't look well"
"Ever since she drank from that hemophiliac everything just goes right through her.

Neil Leckman

#25. Headstones:
What I asked was, "Would you MARRY me?!!"
"This time I'll count to one hundred and you hide."
"OK, It's not funny anymore let me out!!

Neil Leckman

#26. I think that last batch of sea monkeys ate my cat!!!

Neil Leckman

#27. How to contact in case of an emergency?
I prefer 911 myself ...

Neil Leckman

#28. Lady, you are the cruel'st she alive
If you will lead these graces to the grave
And leave the world no copy.

William Shakespeare

#29. One of the joys of being a grandparent is giving your grandchild caffeinated sugary drinks late in the day, and sending them home. Do you have any idea how many years I had to wait for that?

Neil Leckman

#30. Bad answers for employment questions:
Employer: I see here that you worked for the state for three years. Why did you leave that job?
My parole was granted

Neil Leckman

#31. Why is ground round sold in a square package?

Neil Leckman

#32. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges soaking up so much water.

Neil Leckman

#33. I am open to comments, I accept with with all humility, or at least what I can muster at short notice.

Neil Leckman

#34. A major reason many Americans still struggle to find meaningful work is because they are using tactics from the 1990s and early 2000s. The future for employment is now here...and it's online."
~February 21, 2013 as featured by CBS Money Watch

Matt Keener