Ultimately Funny Quotes

#1. Trees in your eyes. Stars in your heart.

Maggie Stiefvater

#2. And it's thought by many neuroscientists such as Rodolfo Llinas of New York University that such goal-directed active movement, a biological property known as "motricity," is a requirement for the development of the nervous system.

Karen Shanor

#3. Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.

Rodney Dangerfield

#4. Death is a mirror in which the entire meaning of life is reflected.

Sogyal Rinpoche

#5. Things are not what they appear to be: nor are they otherwise.

Gautama Buddha

#6. Of course, uh, the universe is gradually slowing down and, uh, will eventually collapse inwardly on itself, according to the laws of entropy when all it's thermal and mechanical functions fail, thus rendering all human endeavors ultimately pointless. Just to put the gig in some sort of context.

Bill Bailey

#7. Once, when I remarked that she looked like a disoriented bandicoot, she leapt up from the piano bench and beat me within an inch of my life with a rolled-up piano sonata by Schubert. Ophelia has no sense of humor.

Alan Bradley

#8. I hope that my government can help change Italian mentality.

Mario Monti

#9. Especially with comedy, you take massive risks because ultimately you're trying to be funny. If you're not funny, then it's really embarrassing and you look stupid.

Dominic Cooper

#10. Wine is similar to music in that it's a purely experiential realm, and it's a purely subjective practice. That's sort of the funny thing about wine criticism or, for that matter, music criticism. At times, those are useful guides, but ultimately it's all about how you react to that music or wine.

Mike D

#11. Man is not man, but a wolf to those he does not know.

Plautus

#12. It was a Wednesday, I think. Yes, a Wednesday, that miserable day sandwiched between the dreadful Monday and Tuesday and the 'all right' Thursday and Friday, which ultimately gave way to what I hoped woud be a glorious weekend.

Gauri Jhangiani

#13. My stories take three or four months to fix, and it's not magical of a process. Ultimately it's a boring, difficult process. I write everything out, and then the parts I think are funny I put in bold. Then I go perform it. Then the parts that aren't funny, I unbold them.

Kumail Nanjiani

#14. Be good to people, be kind to people, show up, read the lines, hit the mark, and go home.

Pierce Brosnan

#15. For where did Dante take the material of his hell but from our actual world? And yet he made a very proper hell of it.

Arthur Schopenhauer

#16. The days were sunny, the nights were star-studded. Indeed married life was strawberries for breakfast and loving all the time.

Marabel Morgan

#17. I want to give kids that fall-off-the-bed-laughing feeling. Either that, or the sixth-grade feeling that life is hard - sometimes unbearably hard - and it is ultimately about death. But in the meantime, life can be really funny, too.

Kate Klise

#18. There's a darkness under 'The Hangover' because ultimately there's a missing person and it's not really that funny. There's a sort of darkness under it that I love, and still people are laughing as hard if not harder than they did in 'Old School.'

Todd Phillips

#19. I'm a lot better coach when I have really good players

Chuck Daly

#20. Managers are agents of transformation, converting the workforce in developed countries from one of manual workers to one of highly educated knowledge workers.

Peter Drucker

#21. I think ultimately, when you believe somebody is going through a situation and it's either awkward or ridiculous, but you believe it, that can be funny.

Steve Carell

#22. Dave grimaced. 'Cheesecake for breakfast?'
'What's the problem? It's dairy and cereal. It's practically a bowl of cornflakes.

Dave Turner

#23. Sugar is responsible for a lot of deaths. Arguably more than crack cocaine.

Guy Ritchie

#24. I later discovered that in order to be a good athlete one must care intensely what is happening with a ball, even if one doesn't have possession of it. This was ultimately my failure: my inability to work up a passion for the location of balls.

Haven Kimmel