Ugly Wife Quotes

#1. It's okay for a man to commit adultery if his wife is ugly.

Howard Stern

#2. My wife is so stupendously ugly it is easier to take her with me than to kiss her goodbye.

Max Miller

#3. You may build castles in the air, and fume, and fret, and grow thin and lean, and pale and ugly, if you please. But I tell you, no man worth having is true to his wife, or can be true to his wife, or ever was, or will be so.

John Vanbrugh

#4. I saw your wife the other day and she is ugly. I know, but she sure can cook.

Jimmy Soul

#5. Jake Robert's wife is real ugly, but according to him that's nothing a six pack and a light switch can't fix.

Jerry Lawler

#6. An ugly woman, married to King Henry VIII, would have defied the axe and daunted her husband's infidelities.

Honore De Balzac

#7. I cannot see myself as a wife. Ugly word.

Greta Garbo

#8. Take my wife ... please. I'm not saying she's ugly, but when she went to see a horror film, the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.

Les Dawson

#9. If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. From my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you.

Jimmy Soul

#10. going. "'Your wife is ugly, and your daughter too. I think this play is stupid, so guess what? I'm out of here and you can kiss my -

James Patterson

#11. This was dangerous talk - in these enlightened times, a wise woman would never be too clever. The accusation of witchcraft had rid many men of an ugly wife and yet more women of an attractive rival.

Joss Alexander

#12. Don't say 'wife.' I'm your mistress. Wife's such an ugly word. Your 'permanent mistress' is so much more tangible and desirable ... .

F Scott Fitzgerald