Touchline Punchline Quotes

#1. Mental wounds not healing, who and what's to blame. I'm going off the rails on a crazy train.

Ozzy Osbourne

#2. Politics has less to do with where you live than where your heart is.

Margaret Cho

#3. The pig was so earnest. So sincere. So very "there." The pig brought gravity and mythic import to this well-worn fairy tale.

Robert Fulghum

#4. Tim Curry is God. He will distract me.

Nikki Rae

#5. By no means am I trying to change the modeling industry.

Tyra Banks

#6. When nothing upsets you, you are at the beginning of the path. When you desire nothing, you are halfway on the path; when nothing becomes everything, you are perfected.

Meher Baba

#7. The thinkers of the world should by rights be guardians of the world's mirth.

Agnes Repplier

#8. A man who is locked in a room with nothing but a bed and a calendar, and the question is: How does he survive? The answer is: He eats dates from the calendar and drinks water from the springs of the bed.

Kurt Vonnegut

#9. I'm a terrible procrastinator.

Damien Chazelle

#10. The Grace Hotel in Sukhumvit had been a magnet for tarts, double-bent cops, single-trippers, sub-orbital space cadets and those spring-necked noddies who spent their waking hours peering into the dark side of the spoon.

David McMillan

#11. Some imagine the difference between heaven and hell to be a matter of geography. Not so. The difference is much more evident in the individuals who dwell there.

Brandon Mull

#12. The girl who'd written volumes on the walls but never said a word.

Sarah Ockler

#13. Though a lie be well drest, it is ever overcome.
[Though a lie be well dressed, it is ever overcome.]

George Herbert

#14. I thought we were out of money!? You can't simultaneously fire teachers AND tomahawk missiles.

Jon Stewart

#15. One cannot dictate an aphorism to a typist. It would take too long.

Karl Kraus