Top 100 Tomlin's Quotes
#1. A lot of people live with no apparent means of support. I kind of envy the musicians up there. You're down here, busting your ass in Hollywood, and it's like Lily Tomlin's joke about the rat race - all you prove in the end is that you're a rat.
Kurt Voss
#2. No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.
Lily Tomlin
#3. Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
Lily Tomlin
#4. We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
Lily Tomlin
#5. I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining.
Lily Tomlin
#6. Growing up in Michigan was fine ... until I realized where I was.
Lily Tomlin
#7. Remember: In the end, you're not living to impress your friends or your relatives or your coworkers. All of life is for Jesus.
Chris Tomlin
#8. If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin
#9. If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less.
Lily Tomlin
#10. I absolutely love everything about Christmas music.
Chris Tomlin
#11. I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves ... I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we
can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
Lily Tomlin
#13. I guess that's one of the reasons that you do it - work all the time - because it's sort of a high to find something that really works.
Lily Tomlin
#14. Books like a box of chocolates; each one sweet and unique!
Pamela Tomlin
#15. Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
Lily Tomlin
#16. If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed!
Lily Tomlin
#17. I'll tolerate you until I can replace you.
Mike Tomlin
#18. Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
Lily Tomlin
#19. The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin
#20. Music connects with the soul. I think it's the quickest art form to the soul.
Chris Tomlin
#21. I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
Lily Tomlin
#22. I wonder what it would be like if we all became what we wanted to be when we grew up? I mean, imagine a world filled with nothing but firemen, cowboys, nurses and ballerinas.
Lily Tomlin
#23. It's a more ridiculing, divisive humor today.
Lily Tomlin
#24. Worship: Where God isn't moved by the quality of our voice but by the condition of our hearts.
Chris Tomlin
#25. I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They'd eaten each other.
Lily Tomlin
#26. Everybody with a helmet on is in the mix.
Mike Tomlin
#27. The good teams, the dominant teams, aren't necessarily dominant in stadiums, but they are dominant largely in moments, when they do what's required to get out of stadiums with victories.
Mike Tomlin
#28. I try to be cynical, but it's so hard to keep up.
Lily Tomlin
#29. Worship isn't a feeling you wait for, it's a choice you make.
Chris Tomlin
#30. Having a real public outlet is how you imprint something for yourself. It's just a matter of timing. It's like you've marked your territory.
Lily Tomlin
#31. I think that deep inside, all of humanity knows there's truth here, whether they want to admit it or not. There's a joy that comes in Christmas. There's a season of giving, so people feel this generosity.
Chris Tomlin
#32. There's going to be some joyful lifting for us if you will in terms of some of the tasks we have to do.
Mike Tomlin
#33. So if you've had a good time tonight, or if you've had a good time any night, for gosh sake's why not drop a dollar in the mail to me?
Lily Tomlin
#34. I'm such a fan of Lily's Tomlin, for so many years. I feel like Lily was the first popular mainstream crossover comedian who also was kind of an overtly feminist comedian.
Tina Fey
#35. I still believe that sex is dirty. It's just that now I wouldn't have it any other way.
Lily Tomlin
#36. What if it's boring - or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.
Lily Tomlin
#37. Grandma Mary would say, "That's why so many young women are marrying so many older men, because there aren't any more being raised. She would rather be an older man's sweetheart than a young man's fool and slave.
Lyanta' J. Tomlin
#38. I grew up idolizing Madeline Kahn and Lily Tomlin and Carol Burnett, Ruth Gordon, Rosalind Russell, Amy Irving, women who were stylish and real actresses who did real work and could not be replaced with anyone else. You cannot cast anyone else in Madeline Kahn's roles.
Jenny Slate
#39. Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it's imposssible to keep up.
Lily Tomlin
#40. What is reality, anyway? Just a collective hunch.
Lily Tomlin
#41. You are what you think ... geez, that's frightening ...
Lily Tomlin
#42. Hungry is a word that I've been analyzing here of late. It's not hunger that drives me, it's not hunger that needs to drive our football team. Hunger and thirst are things that can be quenched. We have to be a driven group, we have to seek greatness.
Mike Tomlin
#43. I mean yes to act out something or take chances in the performance is one thing. But in terms of a camera, whatever's captured is captured so that's a little more daunting.
Lily Tomlin
#44. I played at my church every once in a while, but that's not a good gauge, because everybody loves you at your church.
Chris Tomlin
#45. There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
Lily Tomlin
#46. I was always empathetic with animals. It's a terrible and self-involved point of view that we do something because someone else is exploitable.
Lily Tomlin
#47. You can't expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it's a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
Lily Tomlin
#48. I worry about kids today - because of the sexual revolution, they're going to grow up and never know what "dirty" means.
Lily Tomlin
#49. When I've had a meltdown, people will say to me, "Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor."
Lily Tomlin
#50. I did see the Soul Train picture. That was interesting. I've heard all the jokes. I had it coming.
Mike Tomlin
#51. Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then
we elected them.
Lily Tomlin
#52. The larger picture is really to swing people's awareness of what really is moral.
Lily Tomlin
#55. Many times I sit back and say, 'I can't believe that this is my life!' Other times, I feel self-satisfied. I mean, there's a lot to be proud and thankful for but, nonetheless, it's just a life!
Lily Tomlin
#57. You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
Lily Tomlin
#58. Two reasons I come down here every year: the food and there are multiple guys here every year.
Mike Tomlin
#59. I always just wanted to be a movie actress, like Lily Tomlin or Ruth Gordon. I just imagined myself being in a movie, wearing stylish women's clothing the way I saw Amy Irving wearing it.
Jenny Slate
#60. In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone
Lily Tomlin
#61. Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth.
Lily Tomlin
#62. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
#63. We don't live in our fears. We live in our hopes.
Mike Tomlin
#64. Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
Lily Tomlin
#65. It is in truth not for glory, nor riches, nor honours that we are fighting, but for freedom--for that alone, which no honest man gives up but with life itself. Declaration of Arbroath (1320)
J.R. Tomlin
#66. And If our God is for us, then who could ever stop us, and if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
Chris Tomlin
#67. I always wondered why somebody didn't do something about that. And then I realized I was somebody.
Lily Tomlin
#68. There's nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, 'I didn't do it right'.
Lily Tomlin
#69. I loved the late Gilda Radner. I love Carol Burnett and Lily Tomlin.
Tracey Ullman
#70. But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.
Lily Tomlin
#71. When we talk to god, it's prayer. When god talks to us, it's schizophrenia.
Lily Tomlin
#72. After all, in private, we're all misfits
Lily Tomlin
#73. No matter how cynical I get, I can't keep up.
Lily Tomlin
#74. Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use.
Lily Tomlin
#75. I always wanted to be something, but now I see I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
#76. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin
#77. If I'd had any way of knowing that things were- as Lily Tomlin once said- going to get a whole lot worse before they got worse, I'm not sure how I would have slept that night.
Elizabeth Gilbert
#78. I lift my hands to believe again. You are my refuge. You are my strength. As I pour out my heart, these things I remember, You are faithful, God, forever.
Chris Tomlin
#79. No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.
Lily Tomlin
#80. More grounded, more humble, more selfless makes us more opportunistic.
Mike Tomlin
#81. When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don't feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
Lily Tomlin
#83. 9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn't really happened, but it has come closer.
Lily Tomlin
#84. I will rise when he calls my name, no more sorrow, no more pain, I will rise on eagles wings before my God; fall on my knees, and rise, I will rise.
Chris Tomlin
#85. Sexual freedom and liberation has to be of your own making. I'm stunned when I hear about friends' children, ten or twelve years old giving blow jobs. I just don't like the girls being used or exploited in that way. It's just indiscriminate sexual relating. It's just the isolated things.
Lily Tomlin
#86. We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
Lily Tomlin
#87. When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
Lily Tomlin
#88. I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
Lily Tomlin
#89. The worship leader God is after is the one whose heart is captured by Him.
Chris Tomlin
#90. Jesus Messiah, name above all names, blessed Redeemer, Emmanuel, the rescue for sinners, the ransom from Heaven, Jesus Messiah, Lord of all.
Chris Tomlin
#92. God, Jack, it makes you want to go out and convert the whole damn world to homosexuality," she told him. "Just so you can walk down the street with your head up. "Maybe
Lily Tomlin Ann Bannon
#93. I'm not a religious person. I don't have any desire. To me it's imitative of a conventional culture. I'm all for it for anybody. I totally have a free and open feeling about how other humans want to live their lives. It's just not something that has any real significance for me.
Lily Tomlin
#94. We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.
Lily Tomlin
#95. Wouldn't it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.
Lily Tomlin
#96. I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
Lily Tomlin
#97. I grew up in a time when women didn't really do comedy. You had to be homely, overweight, an old maid, all that. You had to play a stereotype, because very attractive women were not supposed to be funny - because it's powerful; it's a threat.
Lily Tomlin
#98. What goes up must come down. But don't expect it to come down where you can find it.
Lily Tomlin
#99. Sometimes i worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
Lily Tomlin
#100. If evolution was worth its salt, it should've evolved something better than 'survival of the fittest.' I think a better idea would be 'survival of the wittiest.' At least, that way, creatures that didn't survive could've died laughing.
Lily Tomlin
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