Top 100 Terry Pratchett Death Quotes
#1. I WAS NOT EXPECTING A NAC MAC FEEGLE TODAY, said Death. OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE WORN PROTECTIVE CLOTHING, HA HA.
Terry Pratchett
#2. Death and Famine and War and Pollution continued biking toward Tadfield. And Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty to Animals, Things Not Working Properly Even After You've Given Them A Good Thumping But Secretly No Alcohol Lager, and Really Cool People traveled with them.
Terry Pratchett
#4. I believe everyone should have a good death. You know, with your grandchildren around you, a bit of sobbing. Because after all, tears are appropriate on a death bed. And you say goodbye to your loved ones, making certain that one of them has been left behind to look after the shop.
Terry Pratchett
#5. Something like a small blue supernova flared for a moment in the depths of his eyesockets. It dawned on Mort that, with some embarrassment and complete lack of expertise, Death was trying to wink.
Terry Pratchett
#6. You're just as dead if you fall from forty feet as you are from four thousand fathoms, that's what I say.
Terry Pratchett
#7. There was no safety. There was no pride. All there was, was money. Everything became money, and money became everything. Money treated us as if we were things, and we died.
Terry Pratchett
#8. Perhaps they saw what their minds were instructed to see, because the human brain is not equipped to see War, Famine, Pollution, and Death when they don't want to be seen, and has got so good at not seeing that it often manages not to see them even when they abound on every side.
Terry Pratchett
#9. Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?
Terry Pratchett
#10. Death, although exceptionally busy at all times, decided that He now had a hobby.
Terry Pratchett
#11. Death had tried fiery steeds and skeletal horses in the past, and found them impractical, especially the fiery ones, which tended to set light to their own bedding and stand in the middle of it looking embarrassed. Death
Terry Pratchett
#12. It had to be Death. No-one else went around with empty eye sockets and, of course, the scythe over one shoulder was another clue.
Terry Pratchett
#13. Falling down a flight of steps with a dagger in your back is a disease caused by unwise opening of the mouth.
Terry Pratchett
#14. Teatime put a comforting arm around his shoulders. "Don't worry," he said. "I'm on your side. A violent death is the last thing that'll happen to you.
Terry Pratchett
#16. My Lord ... what is Death like?" called the old man tremulously.
"When I have investigated it fully, I will let you know," came the faintest of modulations on the breeze.
"Yes," murmured the Loremaster. A thought struck him. "During daylight, please," he added.
Terry Pratchett
#17. What are you grinning for?' he asked the figure on the next branch.
I CAN'T HELP IT, said Death. NOW WOULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO LET GO? I CAN'T HANG AROUND ALL DAY.
Terry Pratchett
#18. Rincewind looked up at the tall black figure that had appeared a few feet away. It was, of course, Death. He turned his glowing eyesockets toward Rincewind and said, in a voice like the collapse of undersea chasms, GOOD AFTERNOON.
Terry Pratchett
#19. Death stripes away many things, especially when it arrives at a temperature hot enough to vaporize iron ... The immortal remains of Brother Watchtower watched the dragon flap away into the fog ...
Terry Pratchett
#20. Oh, yes, sir. And the Soul Cake Duck. And the Sandman. And Death.
Terry Pratchett
#21. Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
Terry Pratchett
#22. It's not morbid to talk about death. Most people don't worry about death, they worry about a bad death.
Terry Pratchett
#23. After all it was only wood. It'd rot in a few hundred years. By the measure of infinity, it hardly existed at all. On average, considered over the lifetime of the multiverse, most things didn't
Terry Pratchett
#24. We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.
Terry Pratchett
#25. The road, Hwel felt, had to go somewhere. This geographical fiction has been the death of many people. Roads don't necessarily have to go anywhere, they just have to have somewhere to start.
Terry Pratchett
#26. I have no fear of death whatsoever. I suspect that few people do, what they all fear is what might happen in the years or months before death.
Terry Pratchett
#27. DEAFNESS DOESN'T PREVENT COMPOSERS HEARING THE MUSIC. IT PREVENTS THEM HEARING THE DISTRACTIONS.
Terry Pratchett
#28. Previous generations understood about death, and undoubtedly would have seen a reasonable amount of death. Once you get into the Victorian era, you might well have seen the funerals of many of your siblings before you were very old.
Terry Pratchett
#30. He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.
Terry Pratchett
#32. Mind you," said Ponder, "the universe does have a rhythm. Day and night, light and dark, life and death - " "Chicken soup and croutons," said Ridcully. "Well, not evert metaphor bears close examination".
Terry Pratchett
#34. WHAT FOR IS THIS BOX PADDED? IS IT TO BE SAT ON? CAN IT BE THAT IT IS CAT-FLAVOURED?
Terry Pratchett
#35. I? KILL? said Death, obviously offended. CERTAINLY NOT. PEOPLE GET KILLED, BUT THAT'S THEIR BUSINESS. I JUST TAKE OVER FROM THEN ON. AFTER ALL, IT'D BE A BLOODY STUPID WORLD IF PEOPLE GOT KILLED WITHOUT DYING, WOULDN'T IT?
Terry Pratchett
#36. Tezumen are the only people who beat themselves to death with their own suicide notes.
Terry Pratchett
#37. WITCHES ARE MATRILINEAL, said Death. THEY FIND IT MUCH EASIER TO CHANGE MEN THAN TO CHANGE NAMES.
Terry Pratchett
#38. You will have to look a long way before you find a bunch of scum-suckers more greedy, humourless and deserving of death than the suits in the music business.
Terry Pratchett
#39. Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil ... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon ...
Terry Pratchett
#40. No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away ...
Terry Pratchett
#42. He opened the box and took out the kitten. It stared at him with the normal mad amazement of kittens everywhere.
I DON'T HOLD WITH CRUELTY TO CATS, said Death, putting it gently on the floor.
Terry Pratchett
#43. YOU'RE ONLY PUTTING OFF THE INEVITABLE, he said.
That's what being alive is all about.
Terry Pratchett
#44. It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.
Terry Pratchett
#45. Death didn't answer. He was looking at Spold in the same way that a dog looks at a bone, only in this case things were more or less the other way around.
Terry Pratchett
#46. I have seen galaxies die. I have watched atoms dance. But until I had the dark behind the eyes, I didn't know the death from the dance.
Terry Pratchett
#47. Death sat in His garden, running a whetstone along the edge of His scythe. It was already so sharp that any passing breeze that blew across it was sliced smoothly into two puzzled zephyrs,
Terry Pratchett
#48. Death looked up angirly, and found himself staring into eyes that were black as the inside of a cat and full of distant stars that had no counterpart among the familiar constellations of the realtime universe.
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#49. DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.
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#50. She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do.
And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that if she did indeed ever find
herself dancing on rooftops with chimney sweeps she'd beat herself to death with her own umbrella.
Terry Pratchett
#51. We are as gods to beasts of the field. We order the time of their birth and the time of their death. Between times, we have a duty.
Terry Pratchett
#52. Death strode away, stopped, and came back. He pointed a skeletal finger at The Duck Man.
WHY, he said, ARE YOU WALKING AROUND WITH THAT DUCK?
"What duck?"
AH. SORRY.
Terry Pratchett
#53. The house even imitated human houses. Death had created a bedroom for himself, despite the fact that he never slept. If he really picked things up from humans, had he tried insanity? It was very popular, after all.
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#54. IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT /MEANT/ TO BE SAFE.
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#55. Do you know how wizards like to be buried?"
"Yes!"
"Well, how?"
Granny Weatherwax paused at the bottom of the stairs.
"Reluctantly.
Terry Pratchett
#56. Death rode out, but found himself guiding the white horse down the track to the orchard. He stopped in front of one particular tree, and stared at it for some time. Eventually he said: LOOKS PERFECTLY LOGICAL TO ME.
Terry Pratchett
#57. It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.
Terry Pratchett
#58. HAS IT NEVER STRUCK YOU THAT THE CONCEPT OF A WRITTEN NARRATIVE IS SOMEWHAT STRANGE? said Death.
Terry Pratchett
#59. In the first book of my Discworld series, published more than 26 years ago, I introduced Death as a character; there was nothing particularly new about this - death has featured in art and literature since medieval times, and for centuries we have had a fascination with the Grim Reaper.
Terry Pratchett
#60. The other skeletal hand held small cubes of cheese and pineapple on a stick. "WELL?" said Death, in a voice with all the warmth and color of an iceberg. He caught the wizards' gaze, and glanced down at the stick. I WAS AT A PARTY, he added, a shade reproachfully.
Terry Pratchett
#61. It's certain death anyway, said Ridcully. That's the thing about Death, certainty.
Terry Pratchett
#63. Making money is good, but there's no pockets in a shroud.
Terry Pratchett
#64. Death's face became a little stiffer, if that were possible. The blue glow in his eye sockets flickered red for an instant. I SEE, he said. The tone suggested that death was too good for cat-haters. YOU LIKE GREAT BIG DOGS, I IMAGINE.
Terry Pratchett
#65. And now the birds were singing overhead, and there was a soft rustling in the undergrowth, and all the sounds of the forest that showed that life was still being lived blended with the souls of the dead in a woodland requiem.
The whole forest now sang for Granny Weatherwax.
Terry Pratchett
#67. I dare say that quite a few people have contemplated death for reasons that much later seemed to them to be quite minor.
Terry Pratchett
#68. One of my predecessors used to have people torn to death by wild tortoises. It was not a quick death.
Terry Pratchett
#69. SEE! I HAVE TIME. AT LAST, I HAVE TIME
Albert backed away nervously.
'And now that you have it, what are you going to do with it?' he said.
Death mounted his horse.
I AM GOING TO SPEND IT.
Terry Pratchett
#70. Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.
Terry Pratchett
#71. We know all about you, Rincewind the magician. You are a man of great cunning and artifice. You laugh in the face of Death. Your affected air of craven cowardice does not fool me.
It fooled Rincewind.
Terry Pratchett
#72. WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEART OF MEN?
The Death of Rats looked up from the feast of the potato. SQUEAK, he said.
Death waved a hand dismissively. WELL, YES, OBVIOUSLY ME, he said. I JUST WONDERED IF THERE WAS ANYONE ELSE.
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#73. If words had weight, a single sentence from Death would have anchored a ship.
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#74. I recall no arrangement, Mau, no bargain, covenant, agreement or promise. There is what happens, and what does not happen. There is no 'should
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#75. YOU FEAR TO DIE?
It's not that I don't want ... I mean, I've always ... it's just that life is a habit that's hard to break ...
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#76. HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM. (Death)
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#77. I really should talk to him. He's had a near-death experience!"
"We all have. It's called living."
(Hogfather)
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#78. YOU ARE NOT AFRAID?
'Not yet. But, er ... which way to the egress, please?'
There was a pause. Then Death said, in a puzzled voice: ISN'T THAT A FEMALE EAGLE?
Terry Pratchett
#79. When it's time to stop living, I will certainly make Death my number one choice!
Terry Pratchett
#80. Mr Tulip raised a trembling hand. 'Is this the bit where my whole life passes in front of my eyes?' he said.
NO, THAT WAS THE BIT JUST NOW.
'Which bit?'
THE BIT, said Death, BETWEEN YOUR BEING BORN AND YOUR DYING.
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#81. Is this the bit where my whole life passes in front of my eyes?" He said.
NO, THAT WAS THE BIT JUST NOW.
"Which bit?"
THE BIT, said Death, BETWEEN YOU BEING BORN AND YOU DYING. NO THIS ... MR. TULIP, THIS IS YOUR WHOLE LIFE AS IT PASSED BEFORE OTHER PEOPLE'S EYES ...
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#82. I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.
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#83. NAUGHTY AND NICE? said Death. BUT IT'S EASY TO BE NICE IF YOU'RE RICH. IS THIS FAIR?
Albert wanted to argue. He wanted to say, Really? In that case, how come so many of the rich buggers is bastards? And being poor don't mean being naughty, neither.
Terry Pratchett
#84. Despite rumor, Death isn't cruel
merely terribly, terribly good at his job.
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#85. When it came down to it and the life-or-death decision had to be made, then it was made by you, because you were the witch. And sometimes it wasn't a decision between a good thing or a bad thing, but a decision between to bad things: no right choices, just ... choices.
Terry Pratchett
#86. DO NOT PUT ALL YOUR TRUST IN ROOT VEGETABLES. WHAT THINGS SEEM TO BE MAY NOT BE WHAT THEY ARE.
-Death
Terry Pratchett
#87. Death knew that to tinker with the fate of one individual could destroy the whole world. He knew this. The knowledge was built into him.
To Bill Door, he realised, it was so much horse elbows.
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#90. Any wizard bright enough to survive for five minutes was also bright enough to realize that if there was any power in demonology, then it lay with the demons. Using it for your own purposes would be like trying to beat mice to death with a rattlesnake.
Terry Pratchett
#91. Time and space were, from Death's point of view, merely things that he'd heard described. When it came to Death, they ticked the box marked Not Applicable. It might help to think of the universe as a rubber sheet, or perhaps not.
Terry Pratchett
#92. OH, THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING IN THE STOCKING THAT MAKES A NOISE, said Death. OTHERWISE, WHAT IS 4:30 A.M. FOR?
Terry Pratchett
#93. It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.
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#94. And what would humans be without love?
RARE, said Death.
Terry Pratchett
#95. I MAY HAVE ALLOWED MYSELF SOME FLICKER OF EMOTION IN THE RECENT PAST, said Death, BUT I CAN GIVE IT UP ANY TIME I LIKE.
Terry Pratchett
#96. The death of the warrior or the old man or the little child, this I understand, and I take away the pain and end the suffering. I do not understand this death-of-the-mind.
Terry Pratchett
#97. The wages of sin is death but so is the salary of virtue, and at least the evil get to go home early on Fridays.
Terry Pratchett
#98. Fantasy is uni-age. You can start it in the creche, and it follows you to death.
Terry Pratchett
#99. You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'
IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.
IT'S EDUCATIONAL.
'What if she cuts herself?'
THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.
Terry Pratchett
#100. ASTONISHING, said Death. REALLY ASTONISHING. LET ME PUT FORWARD ANOTHER SUGGESTION: THAT YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A LUCKY SPECIES OF APE THAT IS TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE COMPLEXITIES OF CREATION VIA A LANGUAGE THAT EVOLVED IN ORDER TO TELL ONE ANOTHER WHERE THE RIPE FRUIT WAS.
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