Top 49 Stephanie Plum Quotes
#1. I like the way you've let your hair go curly," he finally said. "Suits your personality. Lots of energy, not much control, sexy as hell,"
Joe Morelli to Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
#3. I rolled my eyes so far into the back of my head I saw myself Thinking- Stephanie Plum High Five
Janet Evanovich
#4. Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different.
Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
#5. Life's best adventures are as close as your nearest bookshelf. Tour Europe with the Count of Monte Cristo. Dance a ball with Mr Darcy. Hunt down bad guys with Stephanie Plum. Amazing things can happen when you read.
Ally Carter
#6. [Stephanie Plum]Jeez. No True Love
[Grandma Mazur] There's always been true love, but in my day, you either talked yourself into thinking you had it, or you talked yourself into thinking you didn't need it.
Janet Evanovich
#10. Stephanie Plum: Do you have your stun gun and pepper sray?
Lula: Does a chicken have a pecker? I could invade Bulgaria with the shit i've got in my handbag.
Janet Evanovich
#11. It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight. - Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
#12. Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator.
Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
#13. I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk.
Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
#14. Men!" I said. "You all a bunch of chauvinist morons"
Stephanie Plum - Ten Big Ones
Janet Evanovich
#15. In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been a slave to good judgment.
Janet Evanovich
#16. You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?" ~ Morelli
Janet Evanovich
#17. It's not a nice thing to send a penis to a woman. It's disrespectful.
Janet Evanovich
#18. Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap
cheat sheet.
Janet Evanovich
#19. Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.
Janet Evanovich
#20. I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?
Janet Evanovich
#21. You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet.
Janet Evanovich
#22. Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
Janet Evanovich
#23. If I let her in I'm doomed. It's like inviting a vampire into your house. Once you've invite them in, that's it, you're good as dead!
Janet Evanovich
#24. Excuse me?" I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. "Coffee? I thought we came here for pie." "I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here." I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.
Janet Evanovich
#25. My professional aspirations were simple - I wanted to be an intergalactic princess.
Janet Evanovich
#26. One minute I was having a day like any other , and then Whack an this guy didn't have no head Lula Finger Lickin 15
Janet Evanovich
#27. Next time I fall in love it's going to be with someone who isn't an expert in fibbing."
"You're in love with me?"
"You didn't know that?"
"I did, but it's nice to hear."
"Scares the hell out of me.
Janet Evanovich
#28. You can relax. I am not here to collect on the deal"
I blinked. "You are not? Then why did you drop your gun belt?"
"I am tired. I wanted to sit and the belt is uncomfortable."
"Oh."
He smiled. "Disappointed?"
"No." Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Janet Evanovich
#29. I don't believe this," Morelli yelled. "I don't fucking believe this. What do you do, sit in bed at night and think about ways to fuck up my life?
Janet Evanovich
#30. You've been busy using your breaking and entering skills," I said.
"I just enter. I don't usually break."
"You broke down Pitch's door."
"Lost my temper."
-Ranger and Stephanie
Janet Evanovich
#31. My sex life is okay."
"Yeah," Morelli said. "But sometimes it's fun to have a partner.
Janet Evanovich
#32. Honey, Half the women in NJ have sold him their cannolli -Conie to Stephanie about Joe Morelli (One for the money)
Janet Evanovich
#33. Ranger was grinning. "Somebody beat the shit out of this guy before he got shot."
"That would be me."I said.
"Babe,"Ranger said, the grin widening.
Janet Evanovich
#35. Remember, so swashing anyone into the trunk of your car!"
"Sure," Lula said, "I know that
Janet Evanovich
#37. When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.
Janet Evanovich
#38. I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?
Janet Evanovich
#39. Look at that skirt," my mother said when she opened the door to me. "It's no wonder we have so much crime today what with these short skirts. How can you sit in a skirt like that? Everyone can see everything."
"It's two inches above my knee. It's not that short.
Janet Evanovich
#40. Why do you give me cars?"
"It's fun," Ranger said."And it keeps you safe. Do you want to know why keeping you safe is important to me?"
"You love me?"
"Yes."
A sigh inadvertently escaped. "We're really screwed up, aren't we?"
"In a very large way," Ranger said.
Janet Evanovich
#41. There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls.
Janet Evanovich
#42. Ten minutes passed before his (Ranger's) Mercedes appeared at the end of the street, gliding through the rain, sleek and sinister, water not daring to adhere to the paint finish.
Janet Evanovich
#43. This cigarette tastes like ass, she said.
I wasn't sure what ass tasted like, but she looked like she would know, so I was willing to take her word for it.
Janet Evanovich
#44. My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn."
"She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action."
-Ranger and Stephanie
Janet Evanovich
#45. My mother had been slicing up the chicken. She took a drumstick and dropped it on the floor. She kicked it around a little, picked it up and put it on the edge of the plate.
"There," she said, "we'll give him this drumstick."
"Deal.
Janet Evanovich
#46. Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. "How does he always get food stuck to him?" I asked Morelli.
"I don't know," Morelli said. "It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in it. I'm not sure."
-Morelli And Stephanie
Janet Evanovich
#47. It wouldn't kill you to flirt a little, so I don't remember this assignment as totally sucking. I'm babysitting a guy who thinks he's a leprechaun, and I'm rescuing a has-been horse. The least you could do I grab my ass once in a while.
Janet Evanovich
#48. From the look on your face, I'd say you know him."
I nodded. "Sold him a cannoli when I was in high school."
Connie grunted. "Honey, half of all the women in New Jersey have sold him their cannoli
Janet Evanovich
#49. Ranger was definitely wow. He stood half a head taller than me. He was perfectly toned muscle, and he had classic Latino good looks. He always smelled great. He dressed only in black. His eyes were dark. His hair was dark. His life was dark. Ranger had lots of secrets.
Janet Evanovich
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