Snl Jack Handy Quotes

#1. I tell myself that I know you,
and then when I think about it, I realize that I don't.

Nicholas Sparks

#2. If evolution was worth its salt, it should've evolved something better than 'survival of the fittest.' I think a better idea would be 'survival of the wittiest.' At least, that way, creatures that didn't survive could've died laughing.

Lily Tomlin

#3. Normally you're 21 years old and you look like Tom Cruise and you do a couple underwear commercials first and then you're a movie star. That didn't happen for me. So it was all quite overwhelming.

Billy Bob Thornton

#4. I have begun to wonder if perfection might be its own flaw." She smirked. "Though perhaps a flaw can contribute to perfection.

Marissa Meyer

#5. Though I love the luxury of the Waldorf Towers, room service there doesn't do soul food.

Sammy Davis Jr.

#6. I am the mystery of Love itself, the lust and spirit of unity aflame with the infinite passion for the Unknown. Thus are all things made one, in me, by virtue of my secret force; and in this light there is the unspeakable joy, the ineffable bliss, the orgasmic ecstasy of the ages.

David Cherubim

#7. Like a highstorm, regular in their coming, yet always unexpected.

Brandon Sanderson

#8. How it infuriates a bigot, when he is forced to drag out his dark convictions!

Logan Pearsall Smith

#9. In this day and age, you need a lot of patience if you are in the movie business.

Brett Ratner

#10. People say: 'Oh, it's only acting,' but it's not ever just acting. At least not with me.

Rhys Ifans

#11. The feature article made my holy-shit-o-meter blare like a banshee

J.A. Saare

#12. Medicine cat' means nothing on its own, without an understanding of what should be done
which isn't always what you first think.

Erin Hunter

#13. Can you believe the man rhymed 'Rumplestiltskin' with 'crumpled napkins'?

Christopher Healy