Sleep Wife Quotes

#1. When you win you eat better, sleep better and your beer tastes better. And your wife looks like Gina Lollobrigida.

Johnny Pesky

#2. You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat.

Mike Tyson

#3. Next door, there's an old man who lived to his nineties and one day passed away in his sleep. And his wife, she stayed for a couple of days and passed away. I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong.

Ben Folds

#4. Good sex is an all-day affair. You can't treat your wife like a servant and expect her to be eager to sleep with you at night. Your wife's sexual responsiveness will be determined by how willingly you help out with the dishes, the kids' homework, or that leaky faucet that drips throughout the night.

Kevin Leman

#5. Kid, show me a man who doesn't go down on his wife and I'll show you a man whose wife I can sleep with, tonight.

Leo Durocher

#6. Twenty-five years now and I still love to watch my wife sleep. I'm fascinated by the way the unconscious self (the deeper self) rises when consciousness falls away and often expresses itself in the face of a sleeper.

David Bottoms

#7. Now let's try that again. Ask my wife nice, and maybe I'll let you sleep in the same bed as your teeth tonight.

Cindy Gerard

#8. Well, how we going to sleep with that going on?" his wife demanded, not unreasonably. "Are they making love, or are they sore at each other, or are they just suffering down there?"

("I Wouldn't Be In Your Shoes")

William Irish

#9. The gaze that the colonized subject casts at the colonist's sector is a look of lust, a look of envy. Dreams of possession. Every type of possession; of sitting at the colonist's table and sleeping in his bed, preferably with his wife. The colonized man is an envious man.

Frantz Fanon

#10. This man's wife told him, "For Christmas, surprise me." On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, "Boo!"

Milton Berle

#11. I call my wife and tell her I'm going to sleep at the lab. She reminds me that she left me a week ago. Louis tries to crack me up by pantomiming humping a chimp through the cage.

Noah Baumbach

#12. My wife and I both made a list of 5 people we could sleep with ... she read hers out and there were no surprises ... 1 George Clooney ... 2 Brad Pitt etc ... I thought 'Ive got the better deal here' ... 1 Your sister

Michael McIntyre

#13. In addition, he was surprised to admit, he trusted her not to stab him in his sleep. These seemed like good qualities to have in a wife.

Kel Kade

#14. Matched with an aged wife, I mete and dole
Unequal laws unto a savage race,
That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.

Alfred Tennyson

#15. If you present your dog to a veterinarian with the instruction to put him to sleep, you would normally mean something very different than you would upon taking your wife or husband to an anesthesiologist with the same words.

Raymond Moody

#16. I can't understand these chaps who go round American universities explaining how they write poems: It's like going round explaining how you sleep with your wife.

Philip Larkin

#17. I put my heart, soul and tears into the game and this is what I get. I don't know what to do. My wife can't sleep at night. I hold my daughter all night. I am ashamed I played cricket.

Kapil Dev

#18. A man who respects his wife, does not sleep with other women. And a woman who respects herself does not allow her husband to get away with it

Courtney Giardina

#19. Sweet doctor, you shall be my bedfellow. When I'm not there, you can sleep with my wife.

William Shakespeare

#20. I just had a device made that fits in your mouth and juts your jaw out like you have an underbite. It locks in that position to keep your throat passage open when you sleep. This is the sacrifice I make for my wife. It was either this device or me sleeping in the other room.

Richard Gere

#21. "Jose Mourinho is a big star ... he's cool. The first time he met (my wife) he whispered to her: 'Helena you have only one mission. Feed Zlatan, let him sleep, keep him happy' The guy says what he wants. I like him."

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

#22. Annella would sooner spill my blood than court me. Furthermore, I like my women a little less spirited. I don't want to have to fear that my wife would put a blade to my throat in the middle of the night. Hell, I'd have to sleep with one eye open.

Victoria Roberts

#23. I gather from a lawyer that there was a rehearsal yesterday. We haven't a hope. I know the presiding judge too: I've had the misfortune to sleep with his wife. He was specially picked.

Alphonse Karr

#24. I wanted to be a farmer's wife. I thought it would be quite fun to wake up of a morning, collect eggs and have sheep and pigs as pets. I know now that it would also involve having to sleep with the farmer, but at the time I wasn't thinking about the sexual implications - I was 11.

Miranda Hart

#25. Once his wife goes to sleep it takes a minor nuclear explosion to wake her.

Tony Blair

#26. I don't sleep much. I'm on the go. My mind is racing. My wife says my mind is like the rolling dials on a slot machine. So, yeah, I think about everything.

Bill Walton

#27. Married pixy, I told myself, forcing my eyes back to the shelf of ceramic animals. Fifty-four kids. Beautiful wife, sweet as sugar, who would kill me in my sleep while apologizing for it.

Kim Harrison

#28. I have three kids and a wife, and any moments that aren't dedicated to working on this film in some way, or family, are immediately reserved for sleep.

Brad Bird

#29. I'll usually stay up a little later than my wife and play Xbox, a little 'Modern Warfare 3.' Or I'll have a friend over, and we'll play board games until late at night. I'll always choose fun over sleep.

Rich Sommer

#30. The greatest king of Israel, King David, the author of the Psalms, sent a man out to die in battle so that he could sleep with his wife.

Robert Duvall

#31. A man who is eating or lying with his wife or preparing to go to sleep in humility, thankfulness and temperance, is, by Christian standards, in an infinitely higher state than one who is listening to Bach or reading Plato in a state of pride.

C.S. Lewis

#32. And you, my Sassenach? What were you born for? To be lady of a manor, or to sleep in the fields like a gypsy? To be a healer, or a don's wife, or an outlaw's lady?"
"I was born for you," I said simply, and held out my arms to him.

Diana Gabaldon

#33. I wake when my wife wakes, at 7:30 A.M. I'd like to sleep longer, but she has to go off to work, and I'd be plagued with guilt.

Said Sayrafiezadeh

#34. Ye're my wife, Katherine. Ye promised before God to obey me. If I want to sleep with ye, I damned well will.

Mia Marlowe

#35. How long has it been since you've slept?" Chase asked.
"I sleep." Not much.
"How long since you've slept more than an hour here and there?"
"I do not require a mother."
Chase lifted a brow. "Perhaps a wife, then?"
Bourne wished Chase were in the damn ring, too.

Sarah MacLean

#36. If you were my wife," he murmured in her ear, "I'd never let you sleep. I'd force you to sleep naked beside me so I could have my way with you any time I liked.

Renee Rose

#37. We found that our kids enjoy those simple adventures we take as a family. I'm driving, my wife's the copilot and we give one kid a choice of what they want to go do. We eat a lot of bad food and sleep in some interesting hotels.

Mark Consuelos

#38. Reading someone else's newspaper is like sleeping with someone else's wife. Nothing seems to be precisely in the right place, and when you find what you are looking for, it is not clear then how to respond to it.

Malcolm Bradbury

#39. My wife likes me to point out that she puts our daughter down to sleep more often than I do, which gives me time to write stupid books about it.

Adam Mansbach

#40. No movement calls [migrant workers] oppressed for providing money for women from whom they are receiving neither cooking nor cleaning; for providing their wives with homes while they sleep on the ground.

Warren Farrell

#41. Our story opens in the mind of Luther L. (L for LeRoy) Fliegler, who is lying in his bed, not thinking of anything, but just aware of sounds, conscious of his own breathing, and sensitive to his own heartbeats. Lying beside him is his wife, lying on her right side and enjoying her sleep.

John O'Hara

#42. One burst after another as my wife turned in her sleep. I was a single monkey trying to type the opening lines of my Hamlet,

Billy Collins

#43. I love books, food, music, sleep, people who work, heated arguments, the United States of America, and my wife and children. I dislike politicians, preachers, genteel persons, people who do not work or are on vacation, closed minds, movies, loud noises, and oiliness.

Rex Stout

#44. If my wife made childhood obesity her mission and I signed a law making 1/8 cup of tomato paste a vegetable, I'd be sleeping on the sofa.

Alton Brown

#45. An Abel Muranda without his wife and children would be a wandering bachelor without any dignity. He would sleep in caves and feed on wild berries. But no matter how lonely life became, he would never come to a place like this

Taona Dumisani Chiveneko

#46. I'm happy because - I'm not doing anything deceitful, I think, to my family. I'm successful because I don't have to sleep with one of my friends' girlfriends or wife or something. That's why I'm successful, that's success to me. I'm not dead, I'm not in the gutter - that's success to me.

Mike Tyson

#47. I don't want my wife to sleep with anyone but me, and I want to give her the same respect.

Elijah Martin

#48. A Tory minister can sleep in ten different women's beds in a week. A Labour minister gets it in the neck if he looks at his neighbour's wife over the garden fence.

Clement Attlee

#49. I'm not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, 'All right! Get out of the room.'

Adam Sandler

#50. My wife assures me she didn't sleep with Tiger Woods, but how can I believe her?

Tim Piper

#51. I fell into a sound sleep and dreamed that I was at a banquet back in Gion, talking with an elderly man who was explaining to me that his wife, whom he'd cared for deeply, wasn't really dead because the pleasure of their time together lived on inside him.

Arthur Golden

#52. I want to tell you, don't marry suffering. Some people do. They get married to it, and sleep and eat together, just as husband and wife. If they go with joy they think it's adultery.

Saul Bellow

#53. He touches his wife's smooth back as she sleeps her warm sleep and dreams her own dreams; he thinks that it is good to be a child, but it is also good to be grownup and able to consider the mystery of childhood . . . its beliefs and desires.

Stephen King