Top 100 Scott Adams Quotes: Famous Quotes & Sayings About Scott Adams

#1. Scott Adams: From him, I learned how to write a three-panel comic. Probably the best pure writer on the comics page.

Stephan Pastis

#2. It is a human tendency to
become what you attack.

Scott Adams

#3. Beware of those who try to sell you simple answers to complex questions.

Scott Adams

#4. The simplest explanation usually sounds right and is far
more convincing than any complicated explanation could
hope to be.

Scott Adams

#5. Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there

Scott Adams

#6. Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your funding.

Scott Adams

#7. In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.

Scott Adams

#8. One of the reasons why you like to do your own drawings is, your style changes over time. And there's something about that that keeps it fresh to the viewer.

Scott Adams

#9. In most groups the craziest person is in control. It starts because no one wants the problems that come from pissing off a crazy person. It's just smarter and easier sometimes to let the crazy person have his or her way.

Scott Adams

#10. We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.

Scott Adams

#11. A lie that makes a voter feel good is more effective than a hundred rational arguments.

Scott Adams

#12. The only reasonable goal in life is maximizing your total lifetime experience of something called happiness. That might sound selfish, but it's not. Only a sociopath or a hermit can find happiness through extreme selfishness. A normal person needs to treat others well in order to enjoy life.

Scott Adams

#13. My mother, in the style of the times, told me I could do anything I set my sights on. She said I could be the president, an astronaut, or the next Charles Schulz. I believed her because at that point in my life I hadn't yet noticed the pattern of her deceptions.

Scott Adams

#14. The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.

Scott Adams

#15. Skeptics," he said, "suffer from the skeptics' disease
the problem of being right too often.

Scott Adams

#16. In the future, airplanes will be flown by a dog and a pilot. And the dog's job will be to make sure that if the pilot tries to touch any of the buttons, the dog bites him.

Scott Adams

#17. Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.

Scott Adams

#18. Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.

Scott Adams

#19. I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.

Scott Adams

#20. This was my first exposure to the idea that one should have a system instead of a goal. The system was to continually look for better options.

Scott Adams

#21. I've tried lots of things. The reality is, I'm excited by everything on Day 1. And if by Day X things aren't working the way I hoped, I lose my passion. I have not seen the correlation between my passion and my success.

Scott Adams

#22. Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.

Scott Adams

#23. If your goal is to lose 10 pounds, you may wake up each day with failure in mind because the goal is hard to reach, and you are progressing only by small amounts. It takes up all your willpower. I recommend that instead of a goal, you have a system.

Scott Adams

#24. Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently.

Scott Adams

#25. The great thing about reading diverse news from the fields of business, health, science, technology, politics, and more is that you automatically see patterns in the world and develop mental hooks upon which you can hang future knowledge.

Scott Adams

#26. Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes ... no, wait ...

Scott Adams

#27. I believe in karma ... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.

Scott Adams

#28. I'm primarily just an investor.

Scott Adams

#29. As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.

Scott Adams

#30. The main difference between marketing and fraud is that criminals have to pay for their own alcohol.

Scott Adams

#31. I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For example, you won't have much of a social life if you can't afford to do anything. And you can't make money if your health is a mess.

Scott Adams

#32. If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.

Scott Adams

#33. Moslem: people who believe suicide is a good way to get laid.

Scott Adams

#34. I think 'Dilbert' will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. 'Dilbert' is the designated voice of discontent for the workplace. I never planned it that way. It just happened.

Scott Adams

#35. Home is pretty utopian.

Scott Adams

#36. A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer.

Scott Adams

#37. Stem cells are like toenail clippings with a better career plan.

Scott Adams

#38. shyness is caused by an internal feeling that you are not worthy to be in the conversation.

Scott Adams

#39. If you give an ant infinite time, it can move a mountain all by itself.

Scott Adams

#40. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue

Scott Adams

#41. Fitness and daily exercise are correlated with success in business and in life.3

Scott Adams

#42. If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.

Scott Adams

#43. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

Scott Adams

#44. People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.

Scott Adams

#45. Pessimism is often a failure of imagination.

Scott Adams

#46. People vote based on emotion. Period.

Scott Adams

#47. It's hard to argue with the government. Remember, they are they run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women.

Scott Adams

#48. If you believe people use reason for the important decisions in life, you will go through life feeling confused and frustrated that others seem to have bad reasoning skills. The reality is that reason is just one of the drivers of our decisions, and often the smallest one. Recently

Scott Adams

#49. Lately ... the Peter Principle has given way to the "Dilbert Principle." The basic concept of the Dilbert Principle is that the most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

Scott Adams

#50. Everyone says there's a lack of leadership in the world these days. I think we should all be thankful, because the only reason for leadership is to convince people to do things that are either dangerous (like invading another country) or stupid (working extra hard without extra pay).

Scott Adams

#51. If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.

Scott Adams

#52. I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.

Scott Adams

#53. I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.

Scott Adams

#54. You should also try to figure out which people are thing people and which ones are people people.

Scott Adams

#55. Dilbert: You joined the "Flat Earth Society?" Dogbert: I believe the earth must be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called "round earth theory." Dilbert: I think Christopher Columbus would disagree. Dogbert: How convenient that your best witness is dead.

Scott Adams

#56. If free will exists, why do the tallest candidates with the best hair usually win elections ?

Scott Adams

#57. The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find
someone whose flaws are the sort you don't mind. It is
futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone
who is capable of significant change; that sort of person
exists only in our imaginations.

Scott Adams

#58. Theory of Evolution (Summary)
First, there were some amoebas. Deviant amoebas adapted better to the environment, thus becoming monkeys. Then came Total Quality Management.

Scott Adams

#59. You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public

Scott Adams

#60. Our system requires a continuous supply of highly capable people who are so disgruntled with their jobs that they are willing to chew off their own arms to escape their bosses.

Scott Adams

#61. If you mine the data hard enough, you can also find messages from God. [Dogbert]

Scott Adams

#62. In hard times, or even presuccess times, society and at least one cartoonist want you to take care of yourself first. If you pursue your selfish objectives, and you do it well, someday your focus will turn outward.

Scott Adams

#63. If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.

Scott Adams

#64. Simplicity is not proof of truth. But since we can
never understand true reality, if two models both explain the
same facts, it is more rational to use the simpler one. It is a
matter of convenience.

Scott Adams

#65. Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.

Scott Adams

#66. The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.

Scott Adams

#67. Everything he talked about had a kind of logic to it, but so do many things that are nonsense.

Scott Adams

#68. Sometimes what seems to be a difference in opinions is in fact just a difference in definitions.

Scott Adams

#69. Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.

Scott Adams

#70. These days it seems like any idiot with a laptop computer can churn out a business book and make a few bucks. That's certainly what I'm hoping. It would be a real letdown if the trend changed before this masterpiece goes to print.

Scott Adams

#71. The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to
think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy.
- Wally's Keynote Speech

Scott Adams

#72. Every skill you acquire doubles your odds of success.

Scott Adams

#73. Psychology is the only necessary skill for running for president. Trump knows psychology.

Scott Adams

#74. Then there's education. Do you know what the unemployment rate is for engineers? It is nearly zero. Do you know how many engineers like their jobs? Most of them do, despite what you read in Dilbert comics.

Scott Adams

#75. If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Scott Adams

#76. Do not shout at me, Mr. Quill," said John [Adams]. "Justice may be blind, but she is not deaf.

Orson Scott Card

#77. Failure always brings something valuable with it. I don't let it leave until I extract that value.

Scott Adams

#78. If you think your odds of solving your problem are bad, don't rule out the possibility that what is really happening is that you are bad at estimating odds.

Scott Adams

#79. If your current get-rich project fails, take what you learned and try something else. Keep repeating until something lucky happens. The universe has plenty of luck to go around; you just need to keep your hand raised until it's your turn. It helps to see failure as a road and not a wall.

Scott Adams

#80. I learned by observation that people who pursued extraordinarily unlikely goals were overly optimistic at best, delusional at worst, and just plain stupid most of the time.

Scott Adams

#81. It is better for your career to do nothing, than to do something and attract criticism.

Scott Adams

#82. It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.

Scott Adams

#83. You might not think you're an early-morning person. I didn't think I was either. But once you get used to it, you might never want to go back. You can accomplish more by the time other people wake up than most people accomplish all day.

Scott Adams

#84. If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.

Scott Adams

#85. The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.

Scott Adams

#86. Many, if not most, career opportunities come to you through people you know. So the more people you know, the more opportunities you have. Improving your social network is a great example of a system for moving from lower odds to better odds without having a specific goal.

Scott Adams

#87. Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

Scott Adams

#88. I was no longer surprised to find unlocked doors
in the city. Maybe at some subconscious level we don't
believe we need protection from our own species.

Scott Adams

#89. My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.

Scott Adams

#90. I have an endless stream of suggestions coming in from readers who are in cubicles. That keeps me going.

Scott Adams

#91. You don't have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Scott Adams

#92. Reality has a pulse, a rhythm, for lack of better words.

Scott Adams

#93. I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.

Scott Adams

#94. Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice, tells us that people become unhappy if they have too many options in life. The problem with options is that choosing any path can leave you plagued with self-doubt.

Scott Adams