Sci Fi Humour Comedy Quotes

#1. I didn't wait for Luck. I tore after it with a truck.

A.A. Bell

#2. Carol, I thought you didn't liked playing with the minds of normal people."
"Yes, but the press don't count as normal."
"She's got you there," HARV added.

John Zakour

#3. No thanks," I answered, "I never take rides from strangers, thugs who've tried to kill me or people with poor personal hygiene. Congratulations, by the way, for being the first person to qualify in all three categories.

John Zakour

#4. How bad is it?"
"The story is only just now being reported, but let's put it this way," HARV said. "The bag is now clearly catless, and there's a very foul odor coming from the fan.

John Zakour

#5. I smiled, reached into my pockets and pulled out a pair of ultrapowerful earplugs, the kind that are standard issue for skyway construction workers, artillery soldiers, and roadies for the thirty-five most popular teen boy bands.

John Zakour

#6. The road to life is rocky, and you may stumble too. So while you point your fingers, someone else is judging you.

Bob Marley

#7. 'Foo Kyu' is just a very unfortunate cultural coincidence."
"Just think about his poor son, 'Foo Kyu Two.'

John Zakour

#8. Consider it: Who but God could have dreamed a tale so absurd and so heartless?

Mark Slouka

#9. You bastard, stop that whistling and fight me like a man!

John Zakour

#10. I'm just so lucky - my office is a racetrack. That is something I'm very thankful for. It's exciting, and it's challenging, and there are a lot of emotions and nerves that come with it, but right there before the gates open, before that minute and a half or two minutes of the race, it just hits you.

Chantal Sutherland

#11. I focused the power from my armor into my leg and kicked the door in. The metal and plastic fibers splintered and the hinges ripped free from the wall.
"By the way, boss," HARV said. "I believe that the door was unlocked.

John Zakour

#12. This should tell you everything you need to know about guys. They only go after what they know they can get. We girls, on the other hand, aim really high. We take a leap ...

Adriana Trigiani

#13. Robbing humans of their faces and individuality is no less a form of evil than diminishing their dignity or looking for threats primarily among those who have immigrated or harbour different religious beliefs.

Zygmunt Bauman

#14. Damn it! I knew she was a monster! John! Amy! Listen! Guard your buttholes.

David Wong

#15. Me: Yes, I'd like some colon cleanse. It's something that cleans you out so your antidepressants work better.
Pharmacist: I think you're using your antidepressants wrong. They go in your mouth.

Jenny Lawson

#16. We face challenges pushing us in a million directions all the time, whether we're being pulled to hide our truths or pushed to compromise our integrity. The more we are connected to our true selves, the more whole we are. The more whole we are, the stronger we are to navigate our own life.

Elaina Marie

#17. If we believe in our current penal process, then the penalties imposed by judges and juries should be the only sanctions for one's crime, not the invisible sanctions of the legislature.

Charles B. Rangel

#18. The limelight is a tricky place, because you can't believe what's going on around you. You stop observing. You stop perceiving. You stop extending yourself, and you become isolated.

Vera Farmiga

#19. I can tell you that she's not breathing," he said. "She has no heartbeat and all organ function and brain activity have stopped. Also her body temperature is now at seventy-three degrees."
"So you're saying that she's dead," I said.
"Well, I can't prove it, but, yes, I am leaning that way.

John Zakour

#20. As a matter of fact, Ona spent more credits on the window shades alone than you will make in your entire lifetime and that's if you live to be 185."
"And that's meant to make me feel better?" I said.
"No, that is meant to inform you. I am your computer not your nanny.

John Zakour

#21. Minors should not be exposed to what is going on in the so-called news.

Sinead O'Connor

#22. I told you it was easy," HARV said.
"True, but you say that about everything."
"That's because everything is easy for me."
"Everything but humility."
"No, that's easy, too. I just choose not to practice it.

John Zakour

#23. Yeah, but will it hurt?"' I asked.
"This is science, Zach," Randy said, reassuringly, as he tilted my head back and lowered the lens to my eye. "Of course it will hurt.

John Zakour

#24. Great Gates almighty," HARV said inside my brain. "I go off-line for a few nanos and the whole world goes to DOS.

John Zakour

#25. Petty things don't bother me as much as they used to.

Rebecca Lobo

#26. Forget it," I said. "Opie could be bloodthirsty, rabid, radioactive, and selling life insurance and he'd still be preferable to listening to the two of you.

John Zakour