Rincewind's Quotes

#1. Rincewind's feet made their own decision and, from the point of view of his head, got it entirely wrong.

Terry Pratchett

#2. Rincewind tried shutting his eyes, but there were no eyelids to his imagination and it was staring widely

Terry Pratchett

#3. Multiple exclamation marks,' he went on, shaking his head, 'are a sure sign of a diseased mind.

Terry Pratchett

#4. Rincewind looked up at the tall black figure that had appeared a few feet away. It was, of course, Death. He turned his glowing eyesockets toward Rincewind and said, in a voice like the collapse of undersea chasms, GOOD AFTERNOON.

Terry Pratchett

#5. I don't know what to do," he said. "No harm in that. I've never known what to do," said Rincewind with hollow cheerfulness. "Been completely at a loss my whole life." He hesitated. "I think it's called being human, or something.

Terry Pratchett

#6. Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon
he'd run them all.

Terry Pratchett

#7. He'd always felt he had a right to exist as a wizard in the same way that you couldn't do proper maths without the number 0, which wasn't a number at all but, if it went away, would leave a lot of larger numbers looking bloody stupid.

Terry Pratchett

#8. Everything around Rincewind was black. It wasn't simply an absence of colour. It was darkness that flatly denied any possibility that colour might ever have existed.

Terry Pratchett

#9. Twoflower didn't just look at the world through rose-tinted spectacles, Rincewind knew
he looked at it through a rose-tinted brain, too, and heard it through rose-tinted ears.

Terry Pratchett

#10. There was no sound but the murmur of nasty little stinging insects, the occasional crack of a falling branch, and the whispering of the trees discussing religion and the trouble with squirrels. Rincewind

Terry Pratchett

#11. Rincewind had been his assistant and his friend, and was a good man when it came to peeling a banana. He had also been uniquely good at running away from things. He was not, the Librarian considered, the type to be easily caught. There

Terry Pratchett

#12. homesickness rose up inside Rincewind like a late-night prawn biriani,

Terry Pratchett

#13. Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant 'idiot'.

Terry Pratchett

#14. [Rincewind] drew his sword and, with a smooth overarm throw, completely failed to hit the troll.

Terry Pratchett

#15. Rincewind tried to force the memory out of his mind, but it was rather enjoying itself there, terrorizing the other occupants and kicking over the furniture.

Terry Pratchett

#16. What is it?' asked Rincewind.
'Oh, just the picture you took in the temple.'
Rincewind looked in horror. There, bordered by a few glimpses of tentacle, was a huge, whorled, callused, potion-stained and unfocused thumb.
'That's the story of my life,' he said wearily.

Terry Pratchett

#17. Rincewind wasn't used to people being pleased to see him. It was unnatural, and boded no good. These people were not only cheering, they were throwing flowers and hats. The hats were made out of stone, but the thought was there.

Terry Pratchett

#18. Several times Rincewind noticed hydrophobes - their ingrained expressions of self-revulsion at their own bodily fluids - were distinctive

Terry Pratchett

#19. How does it feel about women?" "Oh, it's not choosy. It ate a book of spells last year. Sulked for three days and then spat it out." "It's horrible," said Conina, and backed away. "Oh, yes," said Rincewind, "absolutely.

Terry Pratchett

#20. The Tezuman priests have a sophisticated calendar and an advanced horology," quoted Rincewind.
"Ah," said Eric, "Good."
"No," said Rincewind patiently. "It means time measurement."
"Oh.

Terry Pratchett

#21. You totally ruined my life, you know that?' said Rincewind hotly. 'I could have really made it as a wizard if you hadn't decided to use me as a sort of portable spellbook. I can't remember any other spells, they're all too frightened to stay in the same head as you!

Terry Pratchett

#22. I just think the world ought to be more sort of organized.'
'That's just fantasy,' said Twoflower.
'I know. That's the trouble.' Rincewind sighed again.

Terry Pratchett

#23. No one's going to be interested in a war fought over a, a quite pleasant lady, moderately attractive in a good light. Are they?" Eric was nearly in tears. "But it said her face launched a thousand ships - " "That's what you call metaphor," said Rincewind. "Lying," the sergeant explained, kindly.

Terry Pratchett

#24. The future held its breath, waiting for Rincewind to walk away. He didn't do this for three reasons. One was alcohol.

Terry Pratchett

#25. Rincewind had been generally reckoned by his tutors to be a natural wizard in the same way that fish are natural mountaineers.

Terry Pratchett

#26. Rincewind paused. In the deep canyons of his mind he thought he heard the distant rustle of ancient paper.

Terry Pratchett

#27. RIGHT, he said, PESTILENCE, OPEN ANOTHER PACK OF CARDS. I'M GOING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS IF IT KILLS ME, FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING OF COURSE. Rincewind grabbed Twoflower and pulled

Terry Pratchett

#28. Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad.

Terry Pratchett

#29. Haven't you noticed that by running away you end up in more trouble?" "Yes, but, you see, you can run away from that, too," said Rincewind. "That's the beauty of the system. Dead is only for once, but running away is for ever.

Terry Pratchett

#30. Every inch of skin removed to the accompaniment of exquisite pain," added the prisoner, helpfully. Rincewind paused. He thought he knew the meaning of the word "exquisite," and it didn't seem to belong anywhere near "pain.

Terry Pratchett

#31. Don't you understand?" snarled Rincewind. "We are going over the Edge, godsdammit!"
"Can't we do anything about it?"
"No!"
"Then I can't see the sense in panicking," said Twoflower calmly.

Terry Pratchett

#32. Rincewind ignored this, because it was true.

Terry Pratchett

#33. He's got a box with a demon in it that draws pictures," said Rincewind shortly. "Do what the madman says and he will give you gold.

Terry Pratchett

#34. Then there's those wizards on it, who must all be gifted hydrophobes - " "You mean they hate water?" said Twoflower. "No, that wouldn't work," said Rincewind. "Hate is an attracting force, just like love. They really loathe it, the very idea of it revolts them.

Terry Pratchett

#35. They had dined on horse meat, horse cheese, horse black pudding, horse d'oeuvres and a thin beer that Rincewind didn't want to speculate about.

Terry Pratchett

#36. Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Terry Pratchett

#37. He'sh mad?"
"Sort of mad. But mad with lots of money."
"Ah, then he can't be mad. I've been around; if a man hash lotsh of money he'sh just ecshentric.

Terry Pratchett

#38. We know all about you, Rincewind the magician. You are a man of great cunning and artifice. You laugh in the face of Death. Your affected air of craven cowardice does not fool me.
It fooled Rincewind.

Terry Pratchett

#39. My name is immaterial,' she said.
That's a pretty name,' said Rincewind.

Terry Pratchett

#40. Not much. I never really spent anything. I've often wondered what being poor was like." "You're going to get a huge opportunity to find out." "Will I need training?" "It comes naturally," said Rincewind. "You pick it up as you go along.

Terry Pratchett

#41. Rincewind gave his fingers a long shocked stare, as one might regard a gun that has been hanging on the wall for decades and has suddenly gone off and perforated the cat.

Terry Pratchett

#42. Rincewind switched to High Borogravian, to Vanglemesht, Sumtri and even Black Oroogu, the language with no nouns and only one adjective, which is obscene. Each was met with polite incomprehension. In desperation he tried heathen Trob, and the little man's face split into a delighted grin.

Terry Pratchett

#43. But it'll kill him!"
"It could be worse," said Rincewind.
"What?"
"It could be us," Rincewind pointed out logically.

Terry Pratchett

#44. That bit where that lad sprang backwards right across the room with them axes in his hands was impressive, though."
"Yeah."
"You didn't ought to have stuck your sword out like that, I thought."
"He's learned an important lesson."
"It won't do him much good now where he's gone.

Terry Pratchett

#45. Don't worry," said Swires. "The old witch hasn't been seen for years. They say she was done up good and proper by a couple of young tearaways." "Kids of today," commented Rincewind. "I blame the parents," said Twoflower.

Terry Pratchett

#46. Rincewind let his breath out in a long sigh. It hurried off to hide somewhere.

Terry Pratchett

#47. Rincewind tried not to think of World Turtles mating. It wasn't completely easy.

Terry Pratchett

#48. Coin reached out very slowly, and picked it up. Rincewind

Terry Pratchett

#49. Capacity for violence, Rincewind had heard, was unisexual. He wasn't certain what unisex was, but expected that it was what he normally experienced.

Terry Pratchett

#50. Rincewind rather enjoyed times like this. They convinced him that he wasn't mad because, if he was mad, that left no word at all to describe some of the people he met.

Terry Pratchett

#51. I bought it in a shop," said Twoflower defensively. "I said I wanted a traveling trunk." "That's what you got, all right," said Rincewind. "It's very loyal," said Twoflower. "Oh yes," agreed Rincewind. "If loyalty is what you look for in a suitcase.

Terry Pratchett

#52. Rincewind trudged back up the beach. "The trouble is," he said, "is that things never get better, they just stay the same, only more so.

Terry Pratchett

#53. Not much call for a barbarian hairdresser, I expect,' said Rincewind. 'I mean, no-one wants a shampoo-and-beheading.

Terry Pratchett

#54. Of the three things that most people know about the horse, the third is that, over a short distance, it can't run as fast as a man. As Rincewind had learned to his advantage, it has more legs to sort out.

Terry Pratchett

#55. All the shops have been smashed open. There was a whole bunch of people across the street helping themselves to musical instruments, can you believe that?"
"Yeah," said Rincewind. " ... Luters, I expect.

Terry Pratchett

#56. You don't understand!" screamed the tourist, above the terrible noise of the wingbeats. "All my life I've wanted to see dragons!"
"From the inside?" shouted Rincewind. "Shut up and ride!

Terry Pratchett