Quotes About Rick Perry

#1. I'll proudly stand with one of the great leaders this state and country have ever produced: Rick Perry.

Taya Kyle

#2. In an interview last night, Rick Perry criticized Mitt Romney for flip-flopping on the issues. Romney said that Perry has no idea what he's talking about. Then he added, 'But he does know what he's talking about.'

Jimmy Fallon

#3. When Rick Perry was told about Kim Jong Il, he said, 'I never heard of him, but then again, I don't listen to that rap.'

Jay Leno

#4. I worry about Rick Perry. One, he's too conservative, Two, his debating skills. And three ... Oh crap, what was three?

David Letterman

#5. What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and Rick Perry? It only takes Lindsay four and a half hours to finish a sentence.

Jay Leno

#6. Remember, I'm not running against Rick Perry; I'm running against apathy.

Kinky Friedman

#7. In a new videotape message, Texas Gov. Rick Perry urges his supporters to follow him on 'Tweeter.' After hearing about it, John McCain laughed and said, What an idiot! It's 'The Tweeter.'

Conan O'Brien

#8. Texas Governor Rick Perry distanced himself from George W. Bush by saying, 'I went to Texas A&M. He went to Yale.' In other words, his idea of instilling confidence is by saying, 'Don't worry. I'm not as smart as George W. Bush.'

Conan O'Brien

#9. You gotta love Rick Perry's swagger. The Texas Governor is out there in the Iowa cornfields, unabashedly going to toe-to-toe with President Obama, doing his best to instantly cast himself as the big dog in the Republican pack.

Jeff Goodell

#10. Rick Perry said Obama's suggestions for gun control disgust him. He said the real answer to this problem isn't laws, it's prayer. You know, i know you're not supposed to say this about elected officials, but I would pay to see Rick Perry defend himself against a school shooter with prayer.

Bill Maher

#11. Rick Perry unveiled his new tax plan. He says he wants a flat tax. He believes that tax should be flat, just like the earth.

Jay Leno

#12. Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that.

Bill Maher

#13. Rick Perry has now accused Mitt Romney of hiring illegal aliens to work on his hair.

David Letterman

#14. Texas governor Rick Perry said God is calling on him to run for President. But Michele Bachmann said that god is calling on her to run for President. You know, if God is that indecisive, he's probably for Mitt Romney!

Jay Leno

#15. Between Ron Paul and Rick Perry, I think the lesson is don't get sick in Texas.

Bill Maher

#16. People are saying that Rick Perry is really tough because he has executed over 200 people. And that was just while he was on vacation in Florida.

Conan O'Brien

#17. Rick Perry, started out like a ball of fire from Texas and then he started to drop and now he's retooling. He's adding advisers to his campaign team. This guy had advisers? Really?

David Letterman

#18. Chris Christie has been saying for a long time he's not interested in running. The media is trying to create a story by sucking Chris Christie into race, just like they made a story by sucking Rick Perry into the race.

Herman Cain

#19. I take risks, if you want to call it a risk. All the people running for president, last time, you know, they all came to visit me or meet me. They all wanted my endorsement and I endorsed [Rick] Perry at that time. He wasn't that well-liked either, but you have to do what you have to do.

Joe Arpaio

#20. Rick Perry dropped out of the presidential race. When asked what went wrong, Perry said, I guess America is not ready to elect a dumb guy from Texas. But in time.

Conan O'Brien

#21. Texas governor Rick Perry's wife, Anita, has come out slugging in her glittering leopard-print jacket against what she sees as the unfair treatment of her husband. She tearfully said that he has been 'brutalized' for his faith.

Patti Davis

#22. Rick Perry I have a great fondness for. And what Rick Perry has, like Jeb Bush has, it will be interesting to compare their two records as governor, very close, great economic development, low taxes, all the things we want domestically out of a president.

Rudy Giuliani

#23. USA Today reports that the number of death row executions this year has hit a 35-year low. They attribute that to DNA evidence clearing more people and the fact that Rick Perry has been on the road campaigning.

Jay Leno

#24. Down in Texas, Rick Perry announced he will not run for reelection. He said 'I executed one last woman, that fertilizer plant exploded, I returned abortions to back alleys where it belongs, my work here is done.' I think that's what he said, he was chewing a crayon.

Bill Maher

#25. In a new interview, Herman Cain said that if Rick Perry were an ice cream flavor, he'd be 'Rocky Road.' I don't know, Perry's not really any flavor of ice cream. He's just the brain freeze part.

Jimmy Fallon

#26. I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.

Kinky Friedman

#27. Personally, I hope he doesn't get out of the campaign. I need Rick Perry. I don't want to spend the next year trying to do jokes about Mitt Romney.

Craig Ferguson

#28. It's not enough to be right because he [Rick Perry] is right, you got to be persuasively right, got to be intellectually agile, and I think he can do it.

Greg Gutfeld

#29. Rick Perry is the perfect candidate for those who thought George W. Bush was just too dang cerebral. And Adios, Mofo is the perfect guide to his record, his rhetoric and his remarkable hair. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll vote.

Paul Begala

#30. Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just thought it was an American city because there were so many Mexicans there.

Jay Leno

#31. I've never heard anybody in my family say anything but good things about Rick Perry.

Jeb Bush

#32. When Rick Perry says I can do for America what I've done for Texas, pay attention. That's no idle threat.

Jim Hightower

#33. Today is 11/11/11, a date so simple even Rick Perry can remember it.

Jimmy Fallon

#34. Natural Texas politicians make terrible, terrible presidential candidates. Phil Gramm, I remember the 'Phil Gramm for President' campaign. I thought that was the worst thing in the history of the world, but Rick Perry was possibly worse.

Gail Collins

#35. Rick Perry has made so many gaffes lately, it is hard to tell if he's running against President Obama or Joe Biden.

Jay Leno

#36. If God told Rick Perry, Michelle Bachmann, and Herman Cain to run for president, then God obviously wants Barack Obama to win.

Randi Rhodes

#37. Rick Perry said America's revolutionary war was fought in the 16th century. When told it was actually the 18th century, Perry apologized and said, 'I never said I was a geology major.'

Conan O'Brien

#38. I salute Rick Perry for the way he's trying to overcome this. Today he came out and said he's not one of those slick politicians, that this just shows his human side, and some third excuse he can't remember.

Craig Ferguson

#39. Rick Perry is now saying he thinks that Barack Obama's birth certificate is fake. I think Perry may have faked his driver's license.

David Letterman

#40. It's not odd these days to hear politicians trumpeting their own authenticity, a claim that an earlier day would have considered self-cancelling. But when Michelle Bachman, Rick Perry, and Rick Santorum say "I'm authentic," they're not evoking the shade of Neal Cassady. (102)

Geoffrey Nunberg

#41. Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.

Andy Borowitz

#42. Rick Perry's an idiot, and I don't think anyone would disagree with that,

Bruce Bartlett

#43. Rick Perry told reporters this week that he has a permit to carry a concealed handgun. He also has a concealed vocabulary, concealed knowledge of the issues, concealed tolerance ...

Jay Leno

#44. Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote.

Stephen Colbert

#45. Mitt Romney said that he liked to fire people. Well, there's a pretty good message to send to Middle America. When Rick Perry heard that, he said, 'Well that's nothing. I like to execute people.'

David Letterman

#46. Look, I know these Rick Perry jokes are a little mean, but tomorrow, he won't even remember them.

Jimmy Fallon

#47. Westerners know the difference between a talker and the real deal. If Rick Perry wasn't right to be governor of Texas, why should he be president?

Dick Cheney

#48. Rick Perry was philosophical about (his election losses). He said, 'Last week was Iowa. Yesterday was New Hampshire. ' He said at least it's giving him a chance to learn the names of all the states.

Jay Leno

#49. Bronco Rick Perry is the first candidate I've ever heard say he's not doing well because he's sleepy. You know, we criticized George W. Bush a lot, but there was one thing he was very disciplined about, and that was getting his full eight years of sleep.

David Letterman

#50. Whether you're talking about Chris Christie, or you're talking about Rick Perry or Scott Walker or John Kasich, there's more interesting evolution at the state level than there is in Washington.

Newt Gingrich

#51. Rick Perry said Donald Trump is unfit to be president and called for him to immediately withdraw from the race. Then he said, 'And that's coming from ME!'

Jimmy Fallon

#52. In the myopic world of the liberals, guns are responsible for evil instead of the perpetrator of evil. But criminals are not bound by our laws. That's what makes them criminals.

Rick Perry

#53. Mexico is an important trading partner, it's the number one trading partner for the state of Texas. We have had dealings with them, shared a border with them. We have had our challenges, but at the end of the day we want a good relationship with Mexico.

Rick Perry

#54. When the good lord calls you home, the government ought not come get your home.

Rick Perry

#55. Our citizens are tired of big government raising their taxes and cooking up new ways to micromanage their lives, our citizens are tired of big government killing jobs with their do-gooder policies. In short the people are Fed Up!

Rick Perry

#56. There is evil prowling in the world - it shows up in our movies, video games and online fascinations, and finds its way into vulnerable hearts and minds.

Rick Perry

#57. We've got the wind at our back right now. Americans are waking up to the realities of their previous choices. We must keep America moving back to preeminence because our values and conservative ideas are the world's greatest hope.

Rick Perry

#58. Somebody has to tell the E.P.A. that we don't need you monkeying around and fiddling around and getting in our business with every kind of regulation you can dream up. You're doing nothing more than killing jobs. It's a cemetery for jobs at the E.P.A.

Rick Perry

#59. Obamacare has got everyone on edge. I mean, small business - men and women or big business are sitting out there saying we have no idea what this is going to cost, but we know it's going to cost us and cost us a lot.

Rick Perry

#60. I'm looking at a tax process that will allow people to keep more of their money because we know what happens when job creators get to keep more of their money than they're - they have the confidence to go out and spend that money to create jobs that in turn create wealth.

Rick Perry

#61. My deal is have a flat, simple tax. And - Americans want - Americans I hope - aspire to be - be wealthy. I hope they aspire to have a better quality of life. And we have this class warfare that's going on now. And I don't agree with that. I'm interested in people getting to work.

Rick Perry

#62. I have no question that Newt Gingrich has the heart of a conservative reformer, the ability to rally and captivate the conservative movement.

Rick Perry

#63. But it wasn't until I graduated from Texas A & M University and joined the United States Air Force, flying C-130's all around the globe, that I truly appreciated the blessings of freedom.

Rick Perry

#64. The God we serve does not seek out the perfect, but instead uses our imperfections and our shortcomings for his greater good. I am humbled by my own limitations. But where I am weak, He is strong.

Rick Perry

#65. My hope is that that person will come forward that can win the presidency that we can all get behind.

Rick Perry

#66. The liberals think government exists to fix what's wrong with America. They find fault with our Constitution, our economic model and our core values. We disagree with the premise of their argument. We believe there's nothing wrong with America that an extra dose of freedom won't cure.

Rick Perry

#67. I would do away with Education, Commerce, and let's see - the third one I can't. I can't. Oops.

Rick Perry

#68. Crucial to understanding federalism in modern day America is the concept of mobility, or 'the ability to vote with your feet.' If you don't support the death penalty and citizens packing a pistol - don't come to Texas. If you don't like medicinal marijuana and gay marriage, don't move to California.

Rick Perry

#69. It's time to bring tough medicine to Washington. No longer will policy be set by K Street, it will be dictated by Main Street.

Rick Perry

#70. Guns require a finger to pull the trigger.

Rick Perry

#71. If you're looking for a slick politician or a guy with great teleprompter skills, we already have that. He's destroying our economy. I'm a doer, not a talker.

Rick Perry

#72. I know something. America is not broken, Washington, D.C. is broken.

Rick Perry

#73. This administration in Washington that's in power now clearly believes that government is not only the answer to every need, but it's the most qualified to make the most central decisions for every American in every area.

Rick Perry

#74. The citizens of America and the citizens of Texas expect to be able to live in safety in their communities. That's what the rule of law is truly all about.

Rick Perry

#75. As long as it's not me, I'll be cool.

Rick Perry

#76. I got a feeling that after six years of disappointment, of mediocrity and decline, a slow course correction is not what voters are going to be looking for in 2016.

Rick Perry

#77. I'm all about job creation. That's what I've done for ten years as the governor of Texas, and that's what I'm focused on.

Rick Perry

#78. We don't have to apologize for American exceptionalism or western values.

Rick Perry

#79. Let's stop this American downward spiral.

Rick Perry

#80. I think you need to have a tax system that basically is flat, fair and simple. And - that you can put on a post card. I mean, even Timothy Geithner could do this one and get it on time.

Rick Perry

#81. The people who illegally cross into the country are from countries that have very close ties to al Qaeda, whether it's Yemen or Afghanistan, Pakistan, China. It is an absolute national disgrace.

Rick Perry

#82. I may have the genetic coding that Im inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way.

Rick Perry

#83. I'm more Jewish than you think I am ... I read the part of the Bible that said the Jews are God's chosen people.

Rick Perry

#84. Four semesters of organic chemistry made a pilot out of me.

Rick Perry

#85. Religious freedom does not mean freedom from religion.

Rick Perry

#86. Under Obama, our federal tax dollars can now be used to fund abortion all over the world. With the stroke of a pen, abortion essentially became a U.S. foreign export.

Rick Perry

#87. The economy is very different in the world that we're living in. And I think Americans are looking for executive leadership that actually has some experience of creating jobs.

Rick Perry

#88. I stand before you today as a disciplined conservative Texan, a committed Republican and a proud American, united with you to restoring our nation and revive the American dream.

Rick Perry

#89. It is time to change our policy of appeasement toward the Palestinians, to strengthen our ties with the nation of Israel.

Rick Perry

#90. You don't want to ruin a kid's life for having a joint,

Rick Perry

#91. There's places where a secure fence will work, and that strategic type fencing will work. But the idea that people can easily just stand up and say 'let's just build a fence' and be done with it and wipe our hands, and it's going to secure the border, that's not reality.

Rick Perry

#92. Americans want government that is leaner, more efficient, and less intrusive into their personal lives.

Rick Perry

#93. As Americans, we don't see the role of government as guaranteeing outcomes, but allowing free men and women to flourish based on their own vision, their hard work and their personal responsibility.

Rick Perry

#94. I didn't say I was running, did I?

Rick Perry

#95. What I learned growing up on the farm was a way of life that was centered on hard work, and on faith and on thrift. Those values have stuck with me my whole life.

Rick Perry

#96. We must do right and risk the consequences.

Rick Perry

#97. Every barrel of oil that comes out of those sands in Canada is a barrel of oil that we don't have to buy from a foreign source.

Rick Perry

#98. How does the richest country in the history of the world fail to pay its bills?

Rick Perry

#99. Scouting ought to be about building character, not about sex. Period. Precious few parents enroll their boys in the Scouts to get a crash course in sexual orientation.

Rick Perry

#100. George W. Bush did an incredible job in the presidency, defending us from freedom.

Rick Perry