Quotes About One Liners

#1. It occurs to me that John McCain is as intellectually shallow as our current President ... Bush goes bumbling along, grinning and spewing moronic one-liners, as though nobody understands what a colossal failure he has been ... I fear to the depth of my being that John McCain is just like him.

Jack Cafferty

#2. Why is it we always have the best one-liners for times when they are not needed, but never for when they are?

Marie F. Crow

#3. People's expectations of what I'm capable of doing are very low. People have been used to hearing little one-liners and me play around.

Nicki Minaj

#4. Winning supporters over can only really be achieved by what you do, not what you say. It's no use just smiling and shaking hands and getting quoted with witty one-liners.

Randy Lerner

#5. President Reagan's one-liners were terrific.

Geraldine Ferraro

#6. Are you in a suit?' I managed at last, my voice choking up. 'You didn't have to dress up for me.'
'Quiet, Sage,' he said. 'I'll make the hilarious one-liners during this daring rescue.

Richelle Mead

#7. Tell me, Francis, do you buy your one-liners wholesale? Only they're well past their sell-by.

Ian Rankin

#8. Hold your horses. I'm coming." ...
"From where I'm standing you're just breathing laboriously."
The snow swam out of focus. "Breathing hard. Are you coming or just breathing hard. You've got to get your one-liners straight.

Ilona Andrews

#9. Val and Ruth had been friends forever, for so long that Val was used to being the overshadowed one, the "normal" one, the one who set up the witty one-liners, not the one who delivered them. She liked that role; it made her feel safe. Robin to Ruth's Batman. Chewbaca to her Han Solo.

Holly Black

#10. People are clever, but almost no one ever devises an optimal quip precisely at the needed moment. Therefore, virtually all great one-liners are later inventions - words that people wished they had spouted, but failed to manufacture at the truly opportune instant.

Stephen Jay Gould

#11. Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners.

Arthur Smith

#12. I have hundreds of Word documents filled with pages of one-liners. If I begin to write a story, or if one of my thoughts leads to more than a couple paragraphs of writing, I'll go into these documents and pull out lines that I think would work with it.

Chelsea Martin

#13. Evangelical agencies with ready funding may have too little depth and vision to cope with the current conflict. God's kingdom is built not on perpetual motion, one-liners, and flashbulbs but on Christ.

Carl F. H. Henry

#14. In its brief 14-episode run, 'Firefly' gave viewers as much chance of witnessing a horseback chase or train robbery as a laser gun and spacefight in any given episode. Snappy one-liners and silly hats were a constant, of course.

Jay Kristoff

#15. I think that one-liners are very important and sometimes you don't even know when you're making the movie that it's going to be a great line. I remember when we did The Terminator and I came to the line "I'll be back" I had no idea that it was going to be an important line.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

#16. I think you often say more by saying less. And interestingly enough, I mean, Jesus really set the standard. I mean, he could say more with fewer words than anybody. Most of the parables were less than 250 words. And, boy, did he have some one-liners just packed with truth.

Mark Batterson

#17. Why is it that men reduce themselves to one-liners and bad movie quotes whenever they get into a fight?" said Parker. "Is there some kind of script they're supposed to follow when they get to this point? Or does the raging testosterone just shut down their higher brain functions?

Matt Forbeck

#18. If you do weave one-liners into a story, you have to have an overall story as well, otherwise it doesn't really count as narrative.

Tim Vine

#19. I'm slightly obsessed with drag queens and performers. Their quips and their one-liners, their style, their singing ... I find it fascinating. And thoroughly entertaining. I'd love to play one.

Russell Tovey

#20. No matter how dire a situation may be, I can always find the humor in it somewhere. If I was ever in a horror movie I would be the goofy one who doesn't seem to know quite what's going on but survives to the end with witty one-liners.

A.J. Rose

#21. I was going to write a sharp witty email full of devastating one-liners but I suspect you want something nicer than that

Lucy Robinson

#22. The resulting inability or even desire to reason and think through an idea logically is demonstrated by one-liners such as "I'm not into 'isms.

Ravi Zacharias

#23. It would be nice to report she lived happily ever after till the end of her days. But such cheap, cop-out one-liners belong to other uncomplicated fairy tales.

Jennifer Silverwood

#24. I always love it whenever Rose delivers one of her witty one-liners - particularly when it's a completely serious situation. The contrast always amuses me, but then, I'm biased.

Richelle Mead

#25. I did a play called 'On Golden Pond' in a dinner theater in Maine and then went to New York for a talent competition having put together a three-man juggling routine and some one-liners and I got myself an agent from that.

Patrick Dempsey

#26. Lord, thy one-liners are as good as thy tricks. Thou art indeed an all-round family entertainer.

Rowan Atkinson

#27. It never felt real to me. I never felt I had complete ownership over Bond. Because you'd have these stupid one-liners - which I loathed - and I always felt phony doing them.

Pierce Brosnan

#28. I want to do it all. I want to climb mountains, go through jungles, fight wars in space, get the girl, shoot the bad-guy full of lead, have all the zippy one liners, bulge muscles out of a singlet, drip sweat and blood on screen, all of that.

Benedict Cumberbatch

#29. I'm a comedian and there are a lot of things I'm still learning. I love one liners because I love smart jokes. I also don't like complaining about society or whining about my life on stage.

Anthony Jeselnik

#30. I can't just say the words, do a lot of one-liners. I love each person I play; I have to be that person. I have to do him true.

Richard Pryor

#31. Donald [Trump] is great at the one-liners, but he's a chaos candidate, and he'd be a chaos president. He would not be the commander in chief we need to keep our country safe.

Renee Montagne

#32. If you're playing things sincere in a really absurd, heightened situation, you'll achieve comedy as opposed to just saying funny lines and one-liners and stuff.

Jeff Baena

#33. Mike Myers as Austin Powers makes me laugh - that was genius - and Daffy Duck makes me laugh, but I like odd behavior. I don't like hip dialogue and one-liners and all that sort of cool, sophomoric comedy. It's just not for me.

Nicolas Cage

#34. Endeavors that help me satisfy you, my goddess of desire, pleasure, and corny one-liners.

Sylvia Day

#35. Jesus was a brilliant Jewish stand-up comedian, a phenomenal improviser. His parables are great one-liners.

Camille Paglia

#36. I'm not too keen on jokes that are one-liners. I want the situation to be funny.

Philippe Falardeau

#37. Donald [Trump], is great at - at the one-liners, but he's a chaos candidate.

Jeb Bush

#38. I think brilliant stuff comes out of working with limitations. One liners are very limiting, but that's what drew me to them in the first place.

Anthony Jeselnik

#39. One of the attractions of translating 'Heroes' is that it's not the kind of play that I write. If it had been, I probably wouldn't have wanted to translate it. There are no one-liners. It's much more a truthful comedy than a play of dazzling wit.

Tom Stoppard

#40. When I was in high school I saw Steven Wright, a brilliant one-liner comedian, and I thought: 'That's what I should do; I should write one-liners.' And I did. My first album is mostly one-liners.

Mike Birbiglia

#41. Make-up? What happened? You look almost female."
"Thanks. You look almost straight.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#42. Impersonating a quiet, gentle librarian like Barbara Gordon
You deserve to be taken out of circulation!

Karl Kesel

#43. If you think about it, the guy who brought out the concept of school, hadn't been to school himself!

Shubham Choudhary

#44. Shut it, right there, or I'll give you a hole that won't shut." He pointed the Colt at Clinton, clicking back the hammer.

C.G. Faulkner

#45. Appreciation is always appreciated.

Shubham Choudhary

#46. Tragedy is actually untimely comedy

Adhish Mazumder

#47. Well, well, it's enough to make the lice drop dead from my head! Condescend to enter the house.

Halldor Laxness

#48. * Get one of those marvellous pink rabbit hand blenders. Like the ones I've seen on the late-night shopping channel.

Bridget Golightly

#49. Thanks to April," she whispered, "you have the wedding you've dreamed about ever since you were a little girl."
Dean's boom of laughter was one more reason she loved this man with all her heart.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips