Top 100 Quotes About Lawyers
#1. The devil makes his Christmas-pie of lawyers' tongues and clerks' fingers.
Thomas Adams
#3. Successful trial lawyers are like heat-seeking missiles carrying payloads of information prejudicial to their opponent's case, constantly looking for the chance to unload their cargo, right up until the final moments of trial.
David Berg
#4. Vicars, he often thought, are essentially God's lawyers on the earth. Interpreters of the law, the finders of nuance, sifters through rationalizations to get at the truth or the need of the moment.
Guessers, in other words.
Julie Anne Long
#5. Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damagers awards.
Jodi Picoult
#7. Despite the generous rewards that state juries dole out, in many cases, victims receive less than 50 cents on the dollar in settlements with the lawyers taking the rest. This is not justice.
Pat Roberts
#8. Every year law schools churn out thousands of lawyers. We don't need any more lawyers. We need more lawyers like we need more talk-show hosts.
Craig Ferguson
#9. We got dragged through a system and got burned by crooked lawyers, and the list goes on and on.
Jerry Only
#10. You've read Gandhi-ji? He said that the two worst classes of human beings are doctors and lawyers. Lawyers because they prolong fights and doctors because they cure the symptoms, not the cause. Doctors don't eliminate disease--they perpetuate the existence of doctors.
Karan Mahajan
#11. So if it appears that my argument supports the necessity of lawyers, please accept that I say it with reluctant awareness that things would be worse without them.
David Brin
#12. Young lawyers attend the courts, not because they have business there, but because they have no business.
Washington Irving
#13. Lawyers hold that there are two kinds of particularly bad witnesses
a reluctant witness, and a too-willing witness.
Charles Dickens
#14. But he isn't dead?' 'No, he isn't, as you can very well see. Instead of striking him between the sixth and seventh left rib, as your compatriots usually do, you must have struck higher or lower; and these lawyers, you know, are not easy to kill off.
Alexandre Dumas
#15. Whatever a person's politics, lawyers have to understand that we are, for most people, the gateway for them to have access to the third branch of government.
Patricia Millett
#16. It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.
Mignon McLaughlin
#17. In Massachusetts, where properly qualified 'persons' were allowed to practice law, the Supreme Court decided that a woman was not a 'person,' and a special act of the legislature had to be passed before Miss Lelia Robinson could be admitted to the bar. But today women are lawyers.
Lucy Stone
#18. The only thing I like more than my wife is my money, and I'm not about to lose that to her and her lawyers, that's for damn sure.
Jon Bon Jovi
#20. Lawyers can steal more money with a briefcase than a thousand men with guns and masks.
-Don Vito Corleone
Mario Puzo
#21. Maybe we should bring back dueling," Ethan mused. "It would really unclog the court system, and thin out the ranks of lawyers.
Shanna Swendson
#22. 99% of all lawyers give the rest of them a bad name.
David Gerrold
#23. One of the rookie mistakes first-time entrepreneurs often make is to be too guarded about their idea - in fact, many will actually spend their first $25,000 on patent lawyers without ever fully vetting their product.
Scott Weiss
#24. So the Clinton-Gore era culminates with an election as stained as the blue dress, a Democratic chorus complaining that the Constitution should not be the controlling legal authority, and Clinton's understudy dispatching lawyers to litigate this: It depends on what the meaning of 'vote' is.
George Will
#26. If you ask me, people out of touch with reality aren't nearly as dangerous as lawyers like him who manipulate it.
Elizabeth Chandler
#27. Politicians were mostly people who'd had too little morals and ethics to stay lawyers.
George R R Martin
#28. To add to the confusion, some of the court's decisions involved multiple concurrences and dissents, making it hard even for lawyers and judges to figure out what the law is and why.
Mike DeWine
#29. No wonder lawyers, who control the legal system, have fought so hard, and with great success, against "no fault" insurance. No fault, no lawsuits. No lawsuits, no lunch.
Andrew Tobias
#30. You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers ... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
Jeff Foxworthy
#31. Were crimes respected? Well, yes. In a sense they were. They gave employment, do you see, to a vast number of people -- policemen, judges, lawyers and such like, who would otherwise have had no place in society.
Frank Baker
#32. Lawyers claim that their clients have been grossly mistreated, which is what criminal defense lawyers are paid to do.
Ken Starr
#33. Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty.
Felix Rohatyn
#34. Free Speech in the College Community is a very timely book written by a dedicated scholar of the First Amendment. Challenging and readable it should be studied by all academicians, students, legislators and lawyers.
Nancy Kassebaum
#35. During the course of many years I have observed that a great number of doctors, lawyers, and important businessmen make a habit of visiting a chess club during the late afternoon or evening to relax and find relief from the preoccupations of their work.
Jose Raul Capablanca
#36. In the first place, lawyers better remember they are human beings, and a human being who hasn't his periods of doubts and distresses and disappointments must be a cabbage, not a human being. That is number one.
Felix Frankfurter
#37. The problem with copyright enforcement is that when the parameters aren't incredibly well defined, it means big corporations, who have deeper pockets and better lawyers, can bully people.
Shepard Fairey
#38. We must begin to train lawyers the minute they walk into law school to tell the truth. They must immediately begin to learn the business of representing people. They must be assigned cases the first day.
Gerry Spence
#39. This bill would allow an employee to bring a claim against an employer decades after the alleged initial act of discrimination occurred. Trial lawyers, you can be sure, are salivating at this very prospect.
Buck McKeon
#40. I am really impressed by lawyers who write books and tell us that they never lost a case. Most lawyers who have never lost a case have not had enough hard cases. But there are very difficult cases out there.
Floyd Abrams
#41. The only real lawyers are trial lawyers, and trial lawyers try cases to juries.
Clarence Darrow
#42. We're seeing a much larger ministry here for the general community. Not just Catholics, but others are calling us too. They're not looking for lawyers or suing their grandfathers, but counseling and healing.
Roger Mahony
#43. Like all lawyers, I was delighted by gratitude. It happened so rarely.
C.J. Sansom
#44. Next to the confrontation between two highly honed batteries of lawyers, jungle warfare is a stately minuet.
Bill Veeck
#45. The challenge of our generation, whether it's young lawyers, young investment bankers, is to make capitalism work for people not just around the corner, but for people all around the world.
Kabir Sehgal
#46. In reality, the [American legal] system promotes chicanery, outright deceit, and other egregious conduct by trial lawyers.
Jon Krakauer
#47. Frankly, the reason why lawyers were compensated so lavishly was that they were paid to attend to the most stultifying aspects of modern life.
Lionel Shriver
#48. Lawyers should be chosen because they can demonstrate a history rich in human traits, the ability to care, the courage to fight, the will to win, a concern for the human condition, a passion for justice and simple uncompromising honesty. These are the traits of the lawyer.
Gerry Spence
#49. Teachers, social workers, public lawyers who bring companies to justice, government accountants who try to make sure money is spent as it should be - all need at least four years of college.
Robert Reich
#50. Apparently it was unethical for lawyers to sleep with their clients. This from a man who offered legal representation to assassins.
Carrie Vaughn
#51. Now we have some lawyers in our firm hosting fund-raisers for both candidates in any contested race. Guaranteed juice no matter who wins.
Randy Singer
#52. That very document [Constitution] does little to serve people when Supreme Court decisions are written so that even high-priced lawyers can't figure them out.
Mike DeWine
#53. I'll never be that trusting again, believing accountants and lawyers have my best interests at heart.
Irene Cara
#54. I find that when I tell lawyer jokes to a mixed audience, the lawyers don't think they're funny and the non-lawyers don't think they're jokes.
John Roberts
#55. They all laid their heads together like as many lawyers when they are gettin' ready to prove that a man's heirs ain't got any right to his property.
Mark Twain
#56. When I first started out, I was trying to write stories about nurses and lawyers and a lot of people I didn't know anything about, and they just weren't working.
Donald Ray Pollock
#57. By not trying the small cases, the lawyers don't get the courtroom experience. So when the huge, bet-the-company cases come along, there are only a handful of trial lawyers who can handle it. That's why these big corporations still call us old-timers every day.
Joe Jamail
#59. We like to engage in a normal publishing effort, which is to act in a responsible manner and make sure the material is not likely to harm anyone, that it is properly investigated by quality news organizations, and by lawyers and human rights groups and so on.
Julian Assange
#60. I actually kind of like Janet Reno. She seems like a nice enough lady. But when you're basically going through the entire phone book trying to find women lawyers who don't have maids to pick the attorney general of the United States, how well can you do?
Dave Barry
#61. To get your name well enough known that you can run for a public office, some people do it by being great lawyers or philanthropists or business people or work their way up the political ladder. I happened to become known from a different route.
John Glenn
#62. Everything bad that has ever happened to me has been caused by agents or lawyers.
Orson Welles
#63. Iowa is home to teachers, farmers, lawyers, factory workers, and many others who work hard every day to provide the best for their families and their future.
Leonard Boswell
#64. In those days, cigarette companies could still advertise on television, but lawyers couldn't; some changes are for the better, and others are not.
Dean Koontz
#65. The Democratic Party is made up of trial lawyers, labor unions, government employees, big city political machines, the coercive utopians, the radical environmentalists, feminists, and others who want to restructure society with tax dollars and government fiat.
Grover Norquist
#66. What the world needs more than anything are Bodhisattvas of peace, lawyers, politicians, teachers working tirelessly for the enlightenment of themselves and others.
Sogyal Rinpoche
#67. As an actor, you can't judge. A great actress from Spain said, "We, the actors, are lawyers of the characters we play. We have to defend them, no matter what."
Javier Bardem
#68. Everyone wants to say they hate lawyers, and yet I've never met a parent who didn't want their kid to be a lawyer.
Jessi Klein
#69. In many courts, plea bargaining serves the convenience of the judge and the lawyers, not the ends of justice, because the courts simply lack the time to give everyone a fair trial.
Jimmy Carter
#70. In the world of intellectual property, armies of lawyers (often employed by non-practicing entities, as I mentioned in chapter 6) do battle to seize the property of others - usually small businesses that are relatively defenseless.
Sam Wilkin
#71. You don't need lawyers making laws. Regular citizens can make laws. Let the lawyers work under the laws.
Jesse Ventura
#72. Movies in Hollywood now, for the past 20 or 30 years, are made mainly by lawyers or agents.
Jean-Luc Godard
#73. When I started Cove, I spoke to three immigration lawyers who gave me a long checklist of things to do before my company could hire immigrants.
Ruchi Sanghvi
#74. Trials for lawyers are like bills. It seems that you finish paying one, and feel that feeling of relief, then it's time to pay it again.
Kenneth Eade
#75. I hate second-guessing other lawyers because I know that I've tried and lost cases, and somebody could sit there and say, 'Should have done it this way,' and they'd have been right.
Scott Turow
#76. We are not priests. We don't want their sort of confession. We are lawyers. We want the truth little by little and only those parts of it we can use.
Hilary Mantel
#77. You could've married the god of doctors or the god of lawyers, but noooo. You had to eat the pomegranate.
Rick Riordan
#78. I see more people taking on the cloak of accountability, more people tiring of the blame game. If we are all connected and our actions in Australia affect us in Istanbul, then we are all to blame and all to be healers. We can't blame lawyers anymore for the 'liability' vs. common sense imbalance.
Jane Siberry
#79. I don't know why anyone wants to get married," said Burke. "I think the whole thing was cooked up by lawyers so they can get rich off of divorce.
Michael Thomas Ford
#80. The charge is prepared; the lawyers are met; The judges all ranged (a terrible show!) I go, undismay'd. For death is a debt, A debt on demand. So take what I owe.
John Gay
#81. You wouldn't go to a hospital, you wouldn't go to a law firm where the doctors and lawyers were not retained on merit: where they all had tenure regardless of competence. Parents feel the same way about schools that they send their children to.
David Boies
#82. America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.
Bob Hope
#83. The Christian Coalition of Alabama will work to ensure that reckless trial lawyers and activist judges will not be able to open the floodgates to increase taxes and that private, Christian, parochial and home-school families will be protected.
Johnny Giles
#84. Science is the engine of prosperity. But you'd never know it, listening to some of the politicians. They're lawyers and businessmen, not scientists. Lawyers and businessmen massage wealth; they don't create it
Michio Kaku
#85. We have taken God out of our education system. We have taken Him out of government. You have lawyers that sue you every time you mention the name of Jesus Christ in any public forum.
Franklin Graham
#86. If the present Congress errs in too much talking, how can it be otherwise in a body to which the people send 150 lawyers, whose trade it is to question everything, yield nothing, & talk by the hour? That 150 lawyers should do business together ought not to be expected.
Thomas Jefferson
#87. Congress is, after all, not a body of laymen unfamiliar with the commonplaces of our law. This legislation was the formulation of the two Judiciary Committees, all of whom are lawyers, and the Congress is predominately a lawyers' body.
Felix Frankfurter
#88. Not sure how I can be 'terminated' from a band that I founded, fronted and co-wrote many of their biggest hits. But that's something for the lawyers to figure out.
Scott Weiland
#89. gymnasts retire at 20, cricketers at 34, actresses at 32, actors at 75, salesmen at 50, other employees at 58 or 60 years, and doctors and lawyers when their bodies do not listen to their minds. Of course, one class beats them all - politicians retire at 90!
P.V. Subramanyam
#90. Lawyers know how to take isolated complaints in a divorce case and build them into one big one.
Hedy Lamarr
#91. You know how Burger King often employs mentally handicapped people to wipe down tables at their restaurants? What those people are to Burger King, paralegals are to lawyers. It's the lowest job you can possibly get and still technically be considered in the legal profession
Michael Ian Black
#92. My greatest reward is knowing for certain, as I do with many other acts and artistes, that without Jonathan King being alive and involved, Genesis would not exist, and the guys would have had careers as intended - as accountants and lawyers!
Jonathan King
#93. Most lawyers who win a case advise their clients, "We have won," and when justice has frowned upon their cause ... "You have lost.
Louis Nizer
#94. There are several authors who are also lawyers - and not only the ones who write legal thrillers. There are other attorneys who write romantic fiction, and I know of at least one who writes young adult books.
Candace Camp
#95. Lawyers tried to compose a story - one of innocence or of guilt - and make it seem the only possibility, taking advantage of the conventions of the genre and of human nature, which was so eager to confirm its prejudices.
Pablo De Santis
#96. Things are different here, sir," said Carrot. "It wasn't until ten years ago they replaced trial by ordeal here with trial by lawyer, and that was only because they found that lawyers were nastier.
Terry Pratchett
#97. This might seem impossible to believe, but some lawyers actually like lawyering.
Charles Soule
#98. When it comes to arrogance, power, and lack of accountability, journalists are probably the only people on the planet who make lawyers look good.
Steven Brill
#99. The best doctor, if you're sick, may not be the one that shares your faith. We found that out to be true at Liberty with the years of struggles with the accountants and lawyers we brought in and the financial management.
Jerry Falwell Jr.
#100. There is no rule of law until the Mafia needs lawyers.
Stephen Holmes
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