Quotes About Hemorrhoids

#1. People that hurt or annoy you are irritants, like hemorrhoids...they eventually become assholes

Terry Robertson

#2. I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.

Rodney Dangerfield

#3. One poll showed that Americans have a higher opinion of witches, the IRS and hemorrhoids than Congress

Tom Coburn

#4. Hemorrhoids can bleed, typically after a bowel movement, producing blood-streaked stool or toilet paper, .. The blood may turn water in the toilet bowl red. However, the amount of blood is usually small, and hemorrhoids rarely lead to severe blood loss or anemia.

Alfred The Great

#5. When I first started out, I was considered a crackpot. The doctors used to say, Don't go to that Jack LaLanne, you'll get hemorrhoids, you won't get an erection, you women will look like men, you athletes will get muscle-bound
this is what I had to go through.

Jack LaLanne

#6. Throwing up was no big deal. It was a lot less painful than hemorrhoids or tooth decay, and more refined than diarrhea

Haruki Murakami

#7. This was supposedly an Honors American History class, for seniors only. What deep, dark secrets of American History needed to be kept from younger minds? Were they going to talk about Washington's VD? Lincoln's warts? Roosevelt's hemorrhoids?

Melodie Starkey

#8. Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids and asteroids called asteroids? Wouldn't it make more sense if it was the other way around? But if that was true, then a proctologist would be an astronaut.

Robert Schimmel

#9. It would be an idyllic tropical paradise if not for the malaria, the insects, the constant diarrhea and resulting hemorrhoids, and the fact that the people are dirty and smell bad and eat each other and use human heads for decoration.

Neal Stephenson

#10. Hemorrhoids. Cockroaches. Anal warts. Lonely nights. Smoking's ravages. AIDS. All the ads promised relief from these things, but where was the relief from these ads?

George Dawes Green

#11. Maybe I should add some graffiti to spice it up. For a good time call the Consort. Beast Lord eats your food and turns into a lion in his sleep. Mahon has hemorrhoids. Boudas do it better. Warning, paranoid attack jaguar on the prowl ...

Ilona Andrews

#12. The one who swallows cactuses with spines should not complain about hemorrhoids.

Etgar Keret

#13. The movies are celluloid hemorrhoids. No, worse: They're celluloid Bon Jovi.

Kyle Smith

#14. Suck my hemorrhoids!

Brian K. Vaughan

#15. Awards are like hemorrhoids. Sooner or later every asshole gets one.

Francois Ozon

#16. Sir, this lane is for ten items or less. I'm counting thirteen items in your cart, including that hemorrhoid cream. And while hemorrhoids might give you a reason to be nasty, they don't give you a reason to be in this lane.

J.A. Konrath

#17. In a perfectly designed world - one with no history - we would not have to suffer everything from hemorrhoids to cancer.

Neil Shubin

#18. I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm sure you are aware of it. You don't need a sign to tell anybody about it.

Larry The Cable Guy

#19. I eased into my chair like a ninety-year-old with hemorrhoids.

Al Macy

#20. (Dixie from Slices These Yankees are like hemorrhoids, but at least in Alabama when they come down, they eventually go on back up.

D.B. Woodling

#21. You learn from mistakes, but Shakespeare is one big non mistake isn't he? He just got everything right really.

Janet Suzman

#22. Today's youth cannot miss something they have never known, but I fear that there are no current fictional characters whose impact and influence will last with such abiding affection into their 'sore and yellow' as this splendid man's creations have in mine!

Peter Cushing

#23. Space is not a scientific object removed from ideology or politics. It has always been political and strategic. There is an ideology of space. Because space, which seems homogeneous, which appears as a whole in its objectivity, in its pure form, such as we determine it, is a social product.

Henri Lefebvre

#24. I love the energy we create between us when we banter like this. It's the most intense sensation of pleasure, knowing he'll always have the perfect response ready. I've never known anyone like him; as addictive to talk to as he is to kiss. "Truth

Sally Thorne

#25. Leadership is a choice. It is not a rank.

Simon Sinek

#26. I like new ballets because they're totally new. As you get older, new experiences are harder and harder to come by, so it's pretty great to have a new experience.

Robert Caro

#27. People call us arrogant, but just because we know we are right, it doesn't make us arrogant.

Kevin Rowland

#28. I've been on enough sports teams in my life to have experienced the magic of what can happen when a group of people care for and love each other.

Tim Ryan

#29. When People magazine called me, I did the job on Ansel. I'm older than Ansel and he has to mind me.

Imogen Cunningham

#30. That is sad until one recalls how many bad books the world may yet be spared because of the busyness of writers.

Gore Vidal