Quotes About Dildos

#1. Me, personally, I tell dude 137 how I'm adding an embossed slogan to my dildos. Cast in high-relief going around the base, it's going to say, "The Dick That Killed Cassie Wright ... " On the thickest part, so if you twist it the letters of the writing stimulate the clit.

Chuck Palahniuk

#2. I was going to have to tell people I got fired from selling dildos. I can't even sell fake cocks to a room full or horny women. How do you come back from that shit?

Tara Sivec

#3. The domes and dildos of pressurized buildings cast slowly lengthening shadows.

Charles Stross

#4. Evie says, "It's not living alone if you keep a rifle under the bed."
I write:
i know girls who say that about their dildos.

Chuck Palahniuk

#5. If I see another David Gold interview on the poor East End Jewish boy done good I'll impale myself on one of his dildos.

Simon Jordan

#6. I don't think lesbians should be allowed to use dildos, afterall they've made their choice

Stewart Francis

#7. If she wanted to bang every waiter and bellman on the Mexican Riviera, she would do so with dildos on. No one said her rebound(s) had to be classy.

Kate Meader

#8. Fuck, can you give me a ride to Office Depot when I'm done with these dildos?

Jon Konrath

#9. If you can't joke about giant french ticklers and gas powered dildos in a fucking locker room then the terrorists win, E. Our freedoms are eroding. I'll pick up lube and condoms instead. Bring your hand. It's the only action you're getting.

Celia Aaron

#10. My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.

Phyllis Diller

#11. Avoid selling to dumb customers, there aren't enough left!

Jasleen Kaur Gumber

#12. Sometimes, magic is just someone spending more time on something than anyone else might reasonably expect.

Teller

#13. When things don't change, their sameness becomes an accretion. That is why all society puts on flesh. Succumbs to the cubicles and begins to fill them.

Tennessee Williams

#14. What's really weird is my mom's clothes smell like her. I mean, her perfume, and so all day it's like m mom has been walking right beside me. Which, you have to admit, a pretty freaky feeling.

Frances O'Roark Dowell

#15. Jazz Improvisation means that practice is not as straightforward as it would be when you simply have a score to play.

Ahmad Jamal

#16. Call it what you like.

Melody Carlson

#17. I get nervous before everything - dates, filming, award shows. I just don't want to say something stupid. But as soon as I step out on that stage, or as soon as I show up to a date, it all goes away, and I just have a great time with whoever I'm with.

Taylor Lautner

#18. When it comes to sex: some men treat women as objects; some women treat objects as men.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#19. The Vermont mountains stretch extended straight; New Hampshire mountains curl up in a coil.

Robert Frost

#20. As a child, I always wanted to live on a boat.

Jamie Wyeth

#21. I developed some unique software to public it on the web that I call the Folklore Project.

Andy Hertzfeld

#22. Watching 'Doctor Who' in the United States meant I was always behind the times - PBS didn't get new episodes until two years after they ran, and I was aware of the show's cancellation before the characters themselves knew, at least in my corner of the world.

Seanan McGuire