Quotes About An Ex Girlfriend

#1. If you make your best friend and your significant other the same person, you don't have to disconnect to go tell your girlfriend everything.

Niecy Nash

#2. You want to take me to a movie?" I asked.
"Well, not really," he said. "What I really want is for you to be my girlfriend. But I thought saying that might scare you off.

Sarah Dessen

#3. The lips on my upper right bicep are my girlfriend's lips. She has the most amazing lips, and I wanted to carry them around with me everywhere I go, considering I can't carry her lips physically with me. So I decided to place them in a discreet location, such as the inside part of my bicep.

Jake Owen

#4. When I don't have a girlfriend, who I am answerable to, I can go out and hang with people. But whether you go for a movie with someone or a meal or a drive, it is assumed that you are dating that person.

Shahid Kapoor

#5. A Bridgeport, Connecticut, man presented his girlfriend with an engagement ring and handed her one end of a ribbon; the other end disappeared into his pocket. "A surprise," he said, and urged her to pull it. She obliged. The ribbon was attached to the trigger of a revolver. The man died instantly.

Erik Larson

#6. Did any agents ever put Diane Ladd up for some of the great parts, even though she always got great reviews? No! But do they put up the girlfriend of the studio executive who's gonna do them a favor later? You betcha.

Diane Ladd

#7. I would like to have a girlfriend who is more mature than my mental age.

Yuki

#8. I mean, you can't have sex until you're married if you're Mormon. The first time I had sex, my parents found out. They were listening in on the phone while I was talking about sex to my girlfriend. They freaked out, man. They both cornered me in my bedroom.

Bert McCracken

#9. My last girlfriend was a Showgirl - But we eventually broke up because she wouldn't Tell me anything. Now I'm dating a girl who looks exactly like my grandma, only my girl older.
-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz

James Lee Schmidt

#10. I don't date my girlfriend because she's a model. I date her because I love her.

Adam Levine

#11. Why is your skin the best feeling in the world?

Kamand Kojouri

#12. Henry unpacked the car and loaded himself up with everything they'd brought, little bags and big ones, a string tote, a knapsack.
As he started up the driveway, his girlfriend said, "Do you have the wine, Hank?"
Whoever Hank was, he had it.

Melissa Bank

#13. I'm not a militant lesbian. I carry myself in a way that makes it easier for women to relate to. I can be your best girlfriend.

Jackie Warner

#14. The irony of talking to animals and an imaginary girlfriend, who keep me sane, even though I know I look like a raving lunatic, isn't lost on me.

Elyse Draper

#15. I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

Mitch Hedberg

#16. I'm more likely to give you a cuddle than a punch in the face. I have a soft side, especially with my girlfriend. I send her flowers and use my culinary skills to pull off romantic meals. I do great Thai dishes.

Jai Courtney

#17. Girlfriends are not wives. I draw the line at married women. Actually, women married to men with guns. If someone's girlfriend wants to make herself available, that's her business. Just don't give my name to your boyfriend.

Jack Dancer

#18. I gave my girlfriend something she didn't expect for Valentine's day ... Chlamydia.

Frankie Boyle

#19. If I don't get a girlfriend soon (number one on the list) I may have to resort to drastic measures like surgery (me) or hypnosis (them).

J.A. Buckle

#20. My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading.

Steve Jobs

#21. I went to church. It didn't help. In those days that was the best place to meet a girlfriend. In church! All of us praying to be different.

Jeffrey Eugenides

#22. Ryan, when did you get a girlfriend?" his sister asked.
"She's not my girlfriend, Kaylen," Ryan replied. "Go away.

S. Walden

#23. In 1940 I was just turning 5 years old and being taken to the movies. For those of us who were not old enough to understand the horror of war it was a very romantic era because these guys were kissing their wives and girlfriends goodbye and going off to fight and become heroes.

Woody Allen

#24. When your girlfriend broke your heart, don't even say a word, just smile because she gives you the opportunity to find someone better than her.

Werley Nortreus

#25. No relationship is perfect nor will anyone ever be the best boyfriend or girlfriend. Long as you put in the effort and try to make your lover happy. That's all we can ask for.

Kevin McCarty

#26. My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian ...

Jimmy Carr

#27. I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.

Jimmy Carr

#28. The goal of Christian dating is not to have a boyfriend or girlfriend but to find a spouse. Have that in mind as you get to know one an- other, and if you're not ready to commit to a relationship with the end goal of marriage, it's better not to date but simply to remain friends.

Mark Driscoll

#29. I never broke up with my girlfriends, they broke up with me.

Manny Pacquiao

#30. If this were a [Hollywood] studio film, I wouldn't have pushed my father into a table, I would have beat him up. My father wouldn't have kissed my girlfriend; he would have raped her.

Noah Wyle

#31. People say love is a gift but i say love is a burden, loving someone and having to watch them be in love with someone else.

Joshua

#32. Sookie: Hey, our hair's the same color.
Eric: Sure is, Girlfriend.

Charlaine Harris

#33. What would you call your decorating style?" I asked. "Boring-bachelor? Or messy-loner? He looked over at me. "More like distracted-about-my-detainee-girlfriend," he said.

Katie Kacvinsky

#34. I have a girlfriend and she really keeps me grounded. Makes me normal.

Ian Axel

#35. My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for 'family home evening,' and I was like, 'Why aren't you people ignoring each other and watching television?'

Trey Parker

#36. I don't think that we really know our animals. We think we do because we're humans, and we think we can control things like that. We don't know anybody that we love. It could be a girlfriend or a cat. I think we just have to be at peace with that.

Caroline Paul

#37. I don't think your girlfriend likes me." Putting on the most bored face I can muster, I add deadpan, "I'm torn up." Shaking his head at me, he mutters, "Yeah, I can see that.

Belle Aurora

#38. The marathon is my only girlfriend. I give her everything I have.

Toshihiko Seko

#39. If he mistreated and abused his last girlfriend, why would you want to be his new girlfriend?

Karen E. Quinones Miller

#40. When a man cheats on his wife or girlfriend, he breaks the spell that made him once the special one.

Linda Alfiori

#41. My ex-girlfriend said to me, 'I'm surprised at how normal you are since you were homeschooled.' But I was only homeschooled because I wanted to be an actor. My parents are both teachers.

Reece Thompson

#42. I think it's cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend.

Demetri Martin

#43. All my life there's always been an ex-wife or a girlfriend.

Ronnie Wood

#44. Most of my ex-girlfriends are still close friends. I guess when you are with someone that long, unless they did something really terrible to you, you remain friends. My real estate business is run by my best friend, who is an ex-girlfriend.

Ryan Kavanaugh

#45. I've been insane for a long time. An ex-girlfriend of mine once asked, "Is it true that all comedians are depressed?," and I said, "Every one I know is."

Jason Gann

#46. Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed.

Aristotle.

#47. I don't like vampire movies or zombie movies. I went to see 'I Am Legend' with an ex-girlfriend the other day, and I immediately realised it was a zombie movie! You know what I mean? There are certain rules, and those rules are things that you've seen many times.

Michel Gondry

#48. I always used to say to my ex-girlfriends that I could never take a good photograph of them, because there was too much of an intimacy between us, but actually the real thing is, if there's a proper intimacy between you ... I find it really compelling and exciting - it's quite good foreplay.

Rankin

#49. Naturally, every boyfriend comes with an ex-girlfriend, every business comes with competitors, but it is entirely up to you to decide how much time you spend thinking about them.

Sophia Amoruso

#50. I was seventeen all over again, falling into intrigue with the boy who was an exquisite contradiction.

Blakney Francis

#51. If you're walking down the street and you smell a scent, it can take you right back to a memorable time in your life, whether it's a moment with an ex-girlfriend or a childhood event.

Chris Evans

#52. Dying to meet your girlfriends that you said you might bring. If they're the ones that tell you that you do the right thing.

Drake