Pete Holmes Quotes

#1. Competition is the death of art.

Dana Gould

#2. It doesn't do any good to fight with Sonny. Sonny just moves back, inside himself, where he can't be reached.

James Baldwin

#3. If you have a friend with a blond mustache, he wants to touch you.

Pete Holmes

#4. But you know, my dad called me the laziest white kid he ever met. When I screamed back at him that he was putting down a race of people to call me lazy, his answer was that's not what he was doing, and that I was also the dumbest white kid he ever met.

Norman Lear

#5. I'm trying to manufacture a sleepover feel; like a tree house or a clubhouse. I want people to be silly and play and feel safe and some people, you have to coax them into that space and some people bring me further into that space, even past the point that I wanted to go.

Pete Holmes

#6. Make sure you live life, which means don't do things where you court celebrity, and give something positive back to our society.

Paul Newman

#7. An instinctive taste teaches men to build their churches with spire steeples which point as with a silent finger to the sky and stars.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

#8. One look at Rebecca and Aunt B would have an instant apoplexy.
Raphael's eyebrows furrowed. "My mother's approval isn't necessary."
Aha. "Does she know that?

Ilona Andrews

#9. My eyes are my greatest sin.

Warren Eyster

#10. I put a spell on you and now you're mine. You can't stop the things I do. I ain't lying.

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

#11. I'm trying to, with my stand-up and with the podcast, give people these little stupid things to give them happiness. I know that sounds lofty or like I'm starting a cult, but I kind of feel that way.

Pete Holmes

#12. Envy, like flame, blackens that which is above it, and which it cannot reach.

Jean Antoine Petit-Senn

#13. In a new interview, Herman Cain said that if Rick Perry were an ice cream flavor, he'd be 'Rocky Road.' I don't know, Perry's not really any flavor of ice cream. He's just the brain freeze part.

Jimmy Fallon

#14. As you get older, you can suffer from painful hips, and our joints wear a lot quicker than for people of average height.

Warwick Davis

#15. The Cuban model doesn't even work for us anymore,

Fidel Castro

#16. I don't want anything given to me.

Cardale Jones

#17. When people were telling me 'God is watching you' ...

Pete Holmes

#18. Be persistent and just keep going to open mics no matter what, even if just to watch and not perform. You'll find that even at your worst keep your head up because you'll still be better than other people's best.

Pete Holmes