Oscar Madison Quotes

#1. I got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches. It's either very new cheese or very old meat. - Oscar Madison, from The Odd Couple

Neil Simon

#2. I'm telling a Richard Pryor story through me.

Mike Epps

#3. There is no god, not a god who would create the things I saw

Cassandra Clare

#4. I've been investing in the stock market for 27 years and, within that time, have helped investors beat the market nearly four to one.

Louis Navellier

#5. I cleared my throat and tried to sound casual, like this was no big deal. "I don't even get cheesy seduction music?"
Jack shook his head. "I usually do this a cappella."
"You mean unaccompanied?"
"No, I haven't done this unaccompanied since I was fourteen."
-Ella & Jack

Lisa Kleypas

#6. Peace is our natural state of being.

Laozi

#7. I don't know that it had anything to do with us, my father said. But how could it have not? Doesn't the blood of every suicide splash back on our faces?

David Sedaris

#8. The Barbers had said they would arrive by three. It was like waiting to begin

Sarah Waters

#9. Good manners sometimes means simply putting up with other people's bad manners.

H. Jackson Brown Jr.

#10. The left has been able to destroy conservatives, dispatch conservatives, to ruin conservatives simply on the basis of accusing them or illustrating them supposedly violating political correctness, by virtue of exposing what they think or say.

Rush Limbaugh

#11. We cannot get grace from gadgets. In the Bakelite house of the future, the dishes may not break, but the heart can. Even a man with ten shower baths may find life flat, stale and unprofitable.

J.B. Priestley

#12. When money comes into play then that's all it's about wanting money, who's making the most who can get the most, me, me me ... and in the end it screws up the person and the sport.

Alexis Arguello

#13. I always have difficulty with people who are not openly warm, expressive. I need a certain sign, a certain invitation.

Anais Nin

#14. There are but two places where all go after death, white and black, rich and poor; those places are Heaven and Hell. Heaven is a place made for those, who are born again, and who love God, and it is a place where they will be happy for ever.

Jupiter Hammon

#15. Forty-five years since I made my first paycheck, and I'm telling you that 'Breaking Bad' is as good as it gets.

Jonathan Banks

#16. My mother and my grandmother would make an apple tart in different styles, and I had one per day. Every day I would eat one full apple tart.

Eric Ripert