One Liners For Quotes

#1. Why is it we always have the best one-liners for times when they are not needed, but never for when they are?

Marie F. Crow

#2. Who's he kidding? He's no gentleman. He has my panties

E.L. James

#3. You tell me your fantasies, and I will make everything we do so good for you, you won't be able to get enough

Jasmine Haynes

#4. It looks to me as if Darwinians are like someone who, having observed that tugboats sometimes maneuver ocean liners in tight places by directing high-pressure streams of water at them, concludes that he has discovered the method by which the liners cross the Atlantic.

Peter Van Inwagen

#5. Donald [Trump] is great at the one-liners, but he's a chaos candidate, and he'd be a chaos president. He would not be the commander in chief we need to keep our country safe.

Renee Montagne

#6. One of the attractions of translating 'Heroes' is that it's not the kind of play that I write. If it had been, I probably wouldn't have wanted to translate it. There are no one-liners. It's much more a truthful comedy than a play of dazzling wit.

Tom Stoppard

#7. If you think about it, the guy who brought out the concept of school, hadn't been to school himself!

Shubham Choudhary

#8. I think brilliant stuff comes out of working with limitations. One liners are very limiting, but that's what drew me to them in the first place.

Anthony Jeselnik

#9. I want to bury myself so deep inside you, you'll think you won't ever get me out

Cherrie Lynn

#10. Donald [Trump], is great at - at the one-liners, but he's a chaos candidate.

Jeb Bush

#11. My vagina has just found a new best friend

Olivia Cunning

#12. When I was in high school I saw Steven Wright, a brilliant one-liner comedian, and I thought: 'That's what I should do; I should write one-liners.' And I did. My first album is mostly one-liners.

Mike Birbiglia

#13. When he began to move, it wasn't with the urgency she expected given their rushed beginnings. It was with a slow deliberation that would destroy her.

Cherrie Lynn

#14. I'm not too keen on jokes that are one-liners. I want the situation to be funny.

Philippe Falardeau

#15. Shut it, right there, or I'll give you a hole that won't shut." He pointed the Colt at Clinton, clicking back the hammer.

C.G. Faulkner

#16. Jesus was a brilliant Jewish stand-up comedian, a phenomenal improviser. His parables are great one-liners.

Camille Paglia

#17. Endeavors that help me satisfy you, my goddess of desire, pleasure, and corny one-liners.

Sylvia Day

#18. Mike Myers as Austin Powers makes me laugh - that was genius - and Daffy Duck makes me laugh, but I like odd behavior. I don't like hip dialogue and one-liners and all that sort of cool, sophomoric comedy. It's just not for me.

Nicolas Cage

#19. My dog hasn't said a word all day, he must have a lot on his mind

Seth Czerepak

#20. Are you in a suit?' I managed at last, my voice choking up. 'You didn't have to dress up for me.'
'Quiet, Sage,' he said. 'I'll make the hilarious one-liners during this daring rescue.

Richelle Mead

#21. Val and Ruth had been friends forever, for so long that Val was used to being the overshadowed one, the "normal" one, the one who set up the witty one-liners, not the one who delivered them. She liked that role; it made her feel safe. Robin to Ruth's Batman. Chewbaca to her Han Solo.

Holly Black

#22. I suppose because I grew up a thousand miles from the sea and missed the great age of passenger liners, I have always been subject to a romantic longing for ocean travel.

Bill Bryson

#23. Make-up? What happened? You look almost female."
"Thanks. You look almost straight.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#24. Impersonating a quiet, gentle librarian like Barbara Gordon
You deserve to be taken out of circulation!

Karl Kesel

#25. The resulting inability or even desire to reason and think through an idea logically is demonstrated by one-liners such as "I'm not into 'isms.

Ravi Zacharias

#26. Your quick 'no' is because I refused to say 'yes' to sex. They say men think with their dicks. I hope you do not run Easton with your -

Avery Aster

#27. Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners.

Arthur Smith

#28. It would be nice to report she lived happily ever after till the end of her days. But such cheap, cop-out one-liners belong to other uncomplicated fairy tales.

Jennifer Silverwood

#29. I suspect the soviets never did want to use those bombs. The most Stalinist of Soviet hard-liners - Stalin, for example - must have realized a nuclear war would be a hard thing to clean up after.

P. J. O'Rourke

#30. I always love it whenever Rose delivers one of her witty one-liners - particularly when it's a completely serious situation. The contrast always amuses me, but then, I'm biased.

Richelle Mead

#31. I will find all your spots. Pleasure you until you beg me to possess you. When I finally do, I'll plunge into you hard. Deep.

Olivia Cunning

#32. I can't just say the words, do a lot of one-liners. I love each person I play; I have to be that person. I have to do him true.

Richard Pryor

#33. I just need to get you to the point where you can't think about anything except what I'm making you feel

Shoshanna Evers

#34. God, you made me come hard.
No need to call me God, he teased.

Olivia Cunning

#35. I did a play called 'On Golden Pond' in a dinner theater in Maine and then went to New York for a talent competition having put together a three-man juggling routine and some one-liners and I got myself an agent from that.

Patrick Dempsey

#36. Lord, thy one-liners are as good as thy tricks. Thou art indeed an all-round family entertainer.

Rowan Atkinson

#37. It never felt real to me. I never felt I had complete ownership over Bond. Because you'd have these stupid one-liners - which I loathed - and I always felt phony doing them.

Pierce Brosnan

#38. thrilled by the dark look of desire. She thrived on men's desire for her. It made the sexual high that much greater

Jasmine Haynes

#39. I want to do it all. I want to climb mountains, go through jungles, fight wars in space, get the girl, shoot the bad-guy full of lead, have all the zippy one liners, bulge muscles out of a singlet, drip sweat and blood on screen, all of that.

Benedict Cumberbatch

#40. I'm a comedian and there are a lot of things I'm still learning. I love one liners because I love smart jokes. I also don't like complaining about society or whining about my life on stage.

Anthony Jeselnik