Top 45 One Liner Quotes
#1. To her British lover about to climb in bed with 80-something Mae: She said that she hoped soon to be able to say what Paul Revere said - 'The British are coming'. This was the last one-liner Mae ever uttered on film.
Mae West
#2. I'm no good at the one-liner thing. It's just not me.
Jamie Bell
#3. I am known as a one liner man because I don't give chance to people to read between the lines.
Amit Abraham
#5. I don't think of any sentence as a "one-liner", but I do pay attention to how people actually speak when they are being funny. Rhythm is key.
Lorrie Moore
#6. It's not a 24-hour news cycle, it's a 60-second news cycle now, it's instantaneous. It has never been easier to get away with telling lies. It has never been easier to get away with the glib one liner.
Malcolm Turnbull
#7. If I write something down, it's normally just a sharp one-liner.
Courtney Barnett
#8. A sign to me is a one-liner, a symbol is very complex and my house is a series of symbols.
Charles Jencks
#9. What a shame to be so afraid of failure that you stop living. My wife has a great one-liner about failure: "Never consider yourself a failure-you can always serve as a bad example." She is right. Failure can be a better teacher than success.
Bernie Siegel
#10. Telling a joke is risk taking. Younger people are more insecure and not willing to put themselves on the line, so a quick one-liner is much safer.
Robert Orben
#11. I don't think every joke has to be so dadgum cerebral. I mix it up really good, because that's the kind of humor I like. I like the goofy one-liner type stuff.
Larry The Cable Guy
#12. It's always a good feeling when you can produce just the right one-liner to prove your point so tidily.
Emily Giffin
#13. I circumnavigate the globe with a one-liner like latitude.
Ras Kass
#14. When I was in high school I saw Steven Wright, a brilliant one-liner comedian, and I thought: 'That's what I should do; I should write one-liners.' And I did. My first album is mostly one-liners.
Mike Birbiglia
#15. The one-liner of this movie [ The Hollars], you've probably heard before: 'A guy goes home to his family and finds out about himself.
John Krasinski
#16. I like showing different types of comedy - showing that I could tell a story, or showing that I could do a one-liner, showing I could do stuff about music - so just trying to be versatile and talking about different topics.
Hannibal Buress
#17. The most common one-liner in the Bible is, "Do not be afraid." Someone counted, and it occurs 365 times.
Richard Rohr
#18. I think, with certain characters, you have to listen. Sometimes, listening can be funnier: the thing you don't say is the one-liner. That's the ying to the yang.
Ray Santiago
#19. Bridget reckons John Lennon wrote a song about her. I'm guessing it was 'Give Peace a Chance'.
Bridget Golightly
#20. My Halloween costume is Godot. I'm not showing up at the party, just texting the host every 10 minutes that I'm on my way.
Wynne McLaughlin
#21. Bridget -
I like my tea like I like my men. Strong, sweet and dark.
Joan -
I like my tea like I like my men too. Still warm.
Bridget Golightly
#22. There are certain things that cannot be adequately explained to a virgin either by words or pictures.
Warren Buffett
#23. People are clever, but almost no one ever devises an optimal quip precisely at the needed moment. Therefore, virtually all great one-liners are later inventions - words that people wished they had spouted, but failed to manufacture at the truly opportune instant.
Stephen Jay Gould
#24. There is no cure for madness except the madness as the cure.
Santosh Kalwar
#25. It occurs to me that John McCain is as intellectually shallow as our current President ... Bush goes bumbling along, grinning and spewing moronic one-liners, as though nobody understands what a colossal failure he has been ... I fear to the depth of my being that John McCain is just like him.
Jack Cafferty
#27. He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
Bob Hope
#28. What positions are kings supposed to put themselves in?"
"Padded rooms without windows or pointy objects, if my staff had its druthers."
"No pointy objects at all?" Kaika quirked an eyebrow. "Doesn't sound like much fun.
Lindsay Buroker
#29. You may as well tell our readers that death and taxes are coming back.
Dani Kollin
#30. The koloss he'd attacked did not rise. Its companions stood, looking unconcerned, though their eyes were focused on him. They seemed to want something.
"He ate my horse," Elend said, saying the first thing that came to his clouded mind.
The group of koloss nodded.
Brandon Sanderson
#31. Good things come in small packages.
Shopping isn't a good thing, so be ready to carry big packages!
Shubham Choudhary
#32. A lantern can give you light only when you light it
Munia Khan
#33. Please don't stand up on my account.
Bob Hope
#35. Donald [Trump], is great at - at the one-liners, but he's a chaos candidate.
Jeb Bush
#36. I'll always wait for you. Bye! Gotta go.
Vikrmn
#37. I wrote a book on cats. In retrospect, I should have used paper, cause chapter six got hit by a car.
Wynne McLaughlin
#38. Lord, thy one-liners are as good as thy tricks. Thou art indeed an all-round family entertainer.
Rowan Atkinson
#39. Bridget was so excited to see the giant Colin Firth statue, she almost had a stroke. But she couldn't quite reach.
Bridget Golightly
#40. Now it's going to turn into the biggest media blitz since the Pope's divorce.
Dani Kollin
#41. Wow! So beautiful. Which star? Planet, not star; It WAS called Earth.
Vikrmn
#42. In 1962, I wrote a series about 42nd Street called 'Welcome to Lostville.' One result was that the young Bob Dylan read it and invited me to his first concert at Town Hall; the result was a kind of friendship that years later led to my liner notes for 'Blood on the Tracks.'
Pete Hamill
#43. We both were there, but alone. "Bye," she said and left; I was alone; again, one more time.
Vikrmn
#44. The poor soul would have been 100 - if he'd lived another twelve years. Apparently he asked to be scattered over the place where he spent his happiest moments - but Bridget wasn't keen no having ash all over her duvet.
Bridget Golightly
#45. A man's weakest spots are almost always closest to his passions.
Auliq Ice
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