Nick Swardson Quotes

#1. The shows need youth. All of our comics are getting too famous to do the show regularly. The people who are regulars five years ago, a lot of them have moved on and can't do the show anymore. We can't really get Jim Gaffigan anymore, we can't get Nick Swardson anymore.

B. J. Porter

#2. I'm developing more stuff in my voice, more Nick Swardson. It's me as myself in a sense and kind of in my voice, no accent no affectation. I'm growing into my own persona.

Nick Swardson

#3. I have no problem doing gay stuff, I really don't care.

Nick Swardson

#4. Most sketch aficionados have an enormous amount of respect for 'Mr. Show.' I didn't have HBO back then, so I was always trying to find episodes. Bob Odenkirk and David Cross became celebrities, and Jay Johnston - who's lesser known, but brilliant - deserves a lot of credit, too.

Nick Swardson

#5. I loved getting tutored and having that one-on-one attention that you sometimes do not get in regular school.

Tia Mowry

#6. It's rare that I've read a script where I'm like, "Oh, my god, it's hilarious!" All you want is a good skeleton and good characters. Then, you can go, "Okay, I can bring a lot to this. I can improvise and I can create something out of this."

Nick Swardson

#7. The key is this: the main benefit of giving is in its effect on the giver. Yes, people in Africa and India need my financial help, as the fund-raising appeals urgently remind me. But in truth my need to give is every bit as desperate as their need to receive.

Philip Yancey

#8. She questioned my sexual preference in a highly offensive way, so my fist questioned the proximity of her face in an even more offensive way.

Kelly Oram

#9. No one will ever be as good as Phil Hartman. He was such an amazing genius, and may be the best sketch performer of all time.

Nick Swardson

#10. In the strangely simple economy of the world people only get what they give, and to those who have not enough imagination to penetrate the mere outward of things and feel pity, what pity can be given save that of scorn?

Oscar Wilde

#11. I was always pretty good at adapting to my situations. My act was never that inside, where it was like, "Okay, they're either going to get this or they're not."

Nick Swardson

#12. I always write and create. I'm never not creating. I'm always creating a show, every year, whether it gets picked up or not. I always sell a pilot or an idea. I like to be in control.

Nick Swardson

#13. I've always had the perspective that roles come into my life when I need them most and sort of teach me lessons. The same can be true of films, films are released into society to aid in a lesson, inspire people, comfort people.

Bryce Dallas Howard

#14. [Being a good comedian] is a skill, but it's also a weird thing that only certain people can do. I always equate it to surgeons and how they can just cut people open and operate. Certain people are just wired differently, and I feel like comics are the same way.

Nick Swardson

#15. GOD IS YOUR THOUGHTS

Colin Tegerdine

#16. Comedy is so subjective, you know what I mean? To sit there and technically pick it apart is so stupid.

Nick Swardson

#17. For me, honestly, one of the first movies I did I was always pounding coffee, and I crashed so horribly. So I've kind of weaned myself off. You keep getting second and third winds. But for me, I've stopped doing energy drinks or any kind of stimulant. I just kind of go natural.

Nick Swardson

#18. The key to comedy is commitment - if you're afraid, you shouldn't be a comedian.

Nick Swardson

#19. Improv plays such a huge role in finding great lines - you'll be surprised at what comes out of your mind inadvertently. A lot of times it's better than a script you've worked out ahead of time.

Nick Swardson

#20. Fads are the kiss of death. When the fad goes away, you go with it.

Conway Twitty

#21. Babies are like the smallest, drunkest people you know.

Nick Swardson

#22. My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty."

Jimmy Carr

#23. If you want to be a comedian, go out. Do a week in Des Moines, Iowa. Try to make those people laugh.

Nick Swardson

#24. I would eventually like to write and star in my own stuff. I think I have a good comedic sense, so I'd like to follow that road. I don't know what the future holds, but whatever I do, I'll commit.

Nick Swardson

#25. Improv kind of goes hand in hand with what I do. I was on 'Reno 911!' for six years, and that was a completely improvised show.

Nick Swardson

#26. It's hard to give someone advice when you're an institution. I don't really put a lot of pressure on it - I'm just open to doing stuff that's challenging.

Nick Swardson