Swardson Quotes

#1. The shows need youth. All of our comics are getting too famous to do the show regularly. The people who are regulars five years ago, a lot of them have moved on and can't do the show anymore. We can't really get Jim Gaffigan anymore, we can't get Nick Swardson anymore.

B. J. Porter

#2. I'm developing more stuff in my voice, more Nick Swardson. It's me as myself in a sense and kind of in my voice, no accent no affectation. I'm growing into my own persona.

Nick Swardson

#3. Like many doctors of his era, TeLinde often used patients from the public wards for research, usually without their knowledge.

Rebecca Skloot

#4. I have no problem doing gay stuff, I really don't care.

Nick Swardson

#5. Most sketch aficionados have an enormous amount of respect for 'Mr. Show.' I didn't have HBO back then, so I was always trying to find episodes. Bob Odenkirk and David Cross became celebrities, and Jay Johnston - who's lesser known, but brilliant - deserves a lot of credit, too.

Nick Swardson

#6. It's rare that I've read a script where I'm like, "Oh, my god, it's hilarious!" All you want is a good skeleton and good characters. Then, you can go, "Okay, I can bring a lot to this. I can improvise and I can create something out of this."

Nick Swardson

#7. What turns an opportunity into a deal is that the property meets your Criteria and the seller is willing to meet your Terms.

Gary Keller

#8. No one will ever be as good as Phil Hartman. He was such an amazing genius, and may be the best sketch performer of all time.

Nick Swardson

#9. I was always pretty good at adapting to my situations. My act was never that inside, where it was like, "Okay, they're either going to get this or they're not."

Nick Swardson

#10. Sometimes the most dangerous place can be the best hiding place as no one will look for you there!

Mehmet Murat Ildan

#11. I always write and create. I'm never not creating. I'm always creating a show, every year, whether it gets picked up or not. I always sell a pilot or an idea. I like to be in control.

Nick Swardson

#12. The world, in its sheer exuberance of kindness, will try to bury the poet with warm and lovely human trivialities. It will even ask him to autograph books.

Christopher Morley

#13. [Being a good comedian] is a skill, but it's also a weird thing that only certain people can do. I always equate it to surgeons and how they can just cut people open and operate. Certain people are just wired differently, and I feel like comics are the same way.

Nick Swardson

#14. Comedy is so subjective, you know what I mean? To sit there and technically pick it apart is so stupid.

Nick Swardson

#15. For me, honestly, one of the first movies I did I was always pounding coffee, and I crashed so horribly. So I've kind of weaned myself off. You keep getting second and third winds. But for me, I've stopped doing energy drinks or any kind of stimulant. I just kind of go natural.

Nick Swardson

#16. The key to comedy is commitment - if you're afraid, you shouldn't be a comedian.

Nick Swardson

#17. Improv plays such a huge role in finding great lines - you'll be surprised at what comes out of your mind inadvertently. A lot of times it's better than a script you've worked out ahead of time.

Nick Swardson

#18. Babies are like the smallest, drunkest people you know.

Nick Swardson

#19. Each haka has its own interpretation, but you have to make sure you are in unison with your team-mates; the haka should be a proper war cry.

Jonah Lomu

#20. If you want to be a comedian, go out. Do a week in Des Moines, Iowa. Try to make those people laugh.

Nick Swardson

#21. I would eventually like to write and star in my own stuff. I think I have a good comedic sense, so I'd like to follow that road. I don't know what the future holds, but whatever I do, I'll commit.

Nick Swardson

#22. Improv kind of goes hand in hand with what I do. I was on 'Reno 911!' for six years, and that was a completely improvised show.

Nick Swardson

#23. It's hard to give someone advice when you're an institution. I don't really put a lot of pressure on it - I'm just open to doing stuff that's challenging.

Nick Swardson