Naughty Humor Quotes

#1. I really wish I could confirm to him
that you do in fact have a penis. A very
big and pretty penis," Blaire whispered.
I winced.
"Please, just call it big.
Don't call it pretty. That hurts its
feelings.

Abbi Glines

#2. For you, Esperetta, anything." Velkan
"Anything?" Esperetta
"Yes." Velkan
"Then come and get naked with me. Right now." Esperetta
"As you wish, Princess." Velkan

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#3. He's an even-tempered stallion. What he lacks in stamina he makes up for in speed, kind of like most of the men I've slept with.

Lila Shaw

#4. Good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere

Helen Gurley Brown

#5. Beatrix, do you know what happens to girls who ask such naughty questions?"
"They're ravished in haylofts?" she inquired hopefully.

Lisa Kleypas

#6. Socrates held up his hands, wiggling his fingers. God gave me these hands to change the world, one child at a time.

Red Phoenix

#7. Magic is a naughty beast.

Rob E. Boley

#8. No one had ever accused Koko of being naughty. Perverse, perhaps, or arrogant, or despotic. But naughtiness was beneath his dignity.

Lilian Jackson Braun

#9. I tried to blow a yellow jacket out and now it's wearing a bow tie in its mouth.

Ana Claudia Antunes

#10. Pennsylvania. The boys nodded appreciatively, as if Abby had said Emily was from Naughty Dirty Sex Land

Sara Shepard

#11. Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think. Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge where there is no river.

Nikita Khrushchev

#12. Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.

Groucho Marx

#13. Sex on a rainy afternoon is like getting all the gloom and wetness to go away for a while. And afterwards you don't even notice if the rain's still falling.

Elizabeth Jane Howard

#14. Some need diamonds some need love
Some need cards some need luck
Some need dollar bills lining their clothes
all I need is, all I need is two white horses in a line

Beck

#15. Reasons why I CAN'T stop thinking about Penny...She's everything I've ever wanted

Logan Chance

#16. If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

Dorothy Parker

#17. He was a moth to her flame, a marshmallow to her campfire, a redneck to her bottle rocket ...

Nine Naughty Novelists

#18. The child probably overheard their voices; for, looking up to the window, with a bright, but naughty smile of mirth and intelligence, she threw one of the prickly burrs at the Reverend Mr. Dimmesdale. The sensitive clergyman shrunk, with nervous dread, from the light missile.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

#19. All you need is your own imagination. So use it that's what it's for.

Madonna Ciccone

#20. His icy lovecicle pressed against her dewy portal, demanding admittance to her passion chamber. How did a guy with no heartbeat, no pulse, get an erection? Who cares?

Nine Naughty Novelists

#21. Blood rushed to the regions of my body that I associated with naughtiness, and I was powerless to stop it.

Kat Lowe

#22. Kitten, your hands are heaven and your eyes are my home.

Jeaniene Frost

#23. Would you like to sit?" Kellen asked her.
"You'd better do it soon," Owen whispered close to her ear, "or I'm going to bend you over that table and break the club's no-penetration-in-the-lounge rule.

Olivia Cunning

#24. Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom.

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#25. Think about what you want," he advised. "There's very little you can't have ... so long as you dare to reach for it.

Lisa Kleypas

#26. Chase punched a code into the keypad above the elevator call button, and the doors to the service elevator slid open. "The code is 6969."
"How will I ever remember that?" I teased.

Vi Keeland

#27. I think I have a great sense of me as a person.

Chamique Holdsclaw

#28. A ballad once in a while doesn't go amiss.

Chrissie Hynde

#29. To live is to find out for yourself what is true, and you can do this only when there is freedom, when there is continuous revolution inwardly, within yourself.

Jiddu Krishnamurti

#30. There are other ways to get back at your phone you know, if it's being naughty, you could simply make it communicate in Japanese,put it on silent, or even take away its battery privileges.

Holly Denham

#31. All my life, I've been trying to adhere to the surface of your city...

Bhanu Kapil

#32. She would show HIM naughty...

Anne Taintor