Moist Von Lipwig Quotes

#1. Only an academic could state the obvious and pass it off as wisdom." -Moist Von Lipwig (T.P., Going Postal)

Terry Pratchett

#2. We can't just drop everything, sir!"
"Mister Lipwig. Is there something in the word 'tyrant' you do not understand?

Terry Pratchett

#3. Moist had seen the Falls before and that's just what they were ... falls. Pretty good falls by the standard of falls, but once you'd looked at them for a few minutes undoubtedly someone would say; 'Where can we get a coffee around here?

Terry Pratchett

#4. That's the most important thing you do in your life - raise children and try to do the best job as a parent and give your kids the best shot in life to go out there into the big, bad world.

Caitlyn Jenner

#5. I am a world-class weenie when it comes to letting people stick needles into me. My subconscious mind firmly believes that if God had wanted us to have direct access to our bloodstreams, He would have equipped our skin with small, clearly marked doors.

Dave Barry

#6. When I was at drama school in the U.K., I was there for two and a half years, and we did one week of television and film. It's right before you leave. It's like, 'We've taught you Chekhov and Shakespeare; you are likely to be in a washing-up soap-liquid commercial.'

James Callis

#7. Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o'clocks in one day.

Terry Pratchett

#8. To be and not to be are just two ideas opposing each other. But they are not reality, and they do not describe reality.

Thich Nhat Hanh

#9. I commend my soul to any god that can find it.

Terry Pratchett

#10. If Albert Einstein was right, Cal Ripken should have been a CEO or politician rather than a shortstop, because Ripken led by example over and over ... and over again.

Don Yaeger

#11. The cause of war is preparation for war.

W.E.B. Du Bois

#12. Doesn't this place give you the creeps? You could perhaps do something with some floral wallpaper and a fire-bomb.

Terry Pratchett

#13. I have to ask, sir ... Why does it have to be done like this?"
Vetinari smiled. "Can you keep a secret, Mister Lipwig?"
"Oh, yes, sir. I've kept lots."
"Capital. And the point is, so can I. You do not need to know.

Terry Pratchett

#14. The press, the machine, the railway, the telegraph are premises whose thousand-year conclusion no one has yet dared to draw.

Friedrich Nietzsche

#15. Really, you just play football; that's all I can do ... I don't change. I'm going to always play tough, hard - that's the way I was brought up at Nebraska, where I really learned football from the Pelinis and that staff and continue to play hard, play blue-collar football.

Ndamukong Suh

#16. I came back once or twice a year to visit my family, and then I would take off again. In the beginning, I think everybody thought I would get over it and get it out of my system. And I never did.

Rita Gelman

#17. Never promise to do the possible. Anyone could do the possible. You should promise to do the impossible, because sometimes the impossible was possible, if you could find the right way, and at least you could often extend the limits of the possible. And if you failed, well, it had been impossible.

Terry Pratchett

#18. Mister Lipwig, the world lives between those who say it cannot be done and those who say that it can. And in my experience, those who say that it can be done are usually telling the truth. It's just a matter of thinking creatively.

Terry Pratchett

#19. Students, eh? Love 'em or hate 'em, you can't hit them with a shovel!

Terry Pratchett

#20. The lying started in the eighth grade. Possibly it had begun earlier, and I simply hadn't noticed.

Anita Shreve

#21. Into your darkest corner, you are safe in my love, you are protected. I am the openess you seek, I am your doorway. Come sit in the circular temple of my heart, & let yourself be calm.

Agapi Stassinopoulos

#22. Making money is good, but there's no pockets in a shroud.

Terry Pratchett

#23. I had never been interested in boys and had no notion that I ever would, seeing being in love and loving as a great tangle in which you could lose your head as well as your heart. Yet standing there that afternoon looking at the young man. I could well see how such knots in life were made.

Sally Gardner