Top 100 Mitch Quotes
#1. But our eyes are different, what you see ain't what I see.
Mitch Albom
#2. P.S. - This is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.
Mitch Hedberg
#3. Something is always happening somewhere.
Mitch Albom
#4. I believe that the Right to Work issue is a perfectly appropriate one for Indiana to look at.
Mitch Daniels
#5. I was so lonely." And Father Time said, "You were never alone.
Mitch Albom
#7. When people don't believe in something, they're lost.
Mitch Albom
#8. Imagine if the headless horseman had a headless horse. That would be chaos. I would think that if you were the headless horseman's horse, you would be very confused. "I don't think this dude can see."
Mitch Hedberg
#9. At I Am My Brother's Keeper, there were no dues, no drives, no singles nights. Membership grew the old-fashioned way: a desperate need for God.
Mitch Albom
#10. When we are most alone is when we embrace another's loneliness.
Mitch Albom
#11. It's always difficult to watch someone you love die.
Mitch Albom
#12. You don't need speech or hearing to feel [friendship]
Mitch Albom
#13. You're not a wave, you're a part of the ocean.
Mitch Albom
#14. I'd rather die riding 95 than live a life full of nothing but filthy lies.
Mitch Lucker
#15. If we love something and somebody so much, how much - if at all - are they ever really gone from our hearts?
Mitch Albom
#16. I think therapeutic spirituality has largely been a help in the modern world. So the fact that people can approach religion with practical needs.
Mitch Horowitz
#17. I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
Mitch Hedberg
#18. there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today if it isn't the family.
Mitch Albom
#19. The public is increasingly disgusted with a steady diet of defamation, and prepared to reward those who refrain from it.
Mitch Daniels
#20. It's such a shame to waste time. We always think we have so much of it.
Mitch Albom
#21. I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Mitch Hedberg
#22. We see government's mission as fostering and enabling the important realms - our businesses, service clubs, Little Leagues, churches - to flourish.
Mitch Daniels
#23. My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light a bunch of koala bears scatter. But I don't want 'em to, you know, I'm like "Hey, hold on, fellas. Let me hold one of you. And feed you a leaf."
Mitch Hedberg
#24. If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!"
Mitch Hedberg
#26. Man rarely knows his own power, the old man said.
Mitch Albom
#27. Learn what you do not know. Understand the consequences of counting the moments.
Mitch Albom
#30. In the beginning of life, when we are infants, we need others to survive, right? And at the end of life, when you get like me, you need others to survive, right?' His voice dropped to a whisper. 'But here's the secret: in between, we need others as well.
Mitch Albom
#31. People on the 14th floor, you know what floor you're really on.
Mitch Hedberg
#32. When you look into your mother's eyes, you know that is the purest love you can find on this earth.
Mitch Albom
#33. Morrie," Koppel said, "that was seventy years ago your mother died. The pain still goes on?"
"You bet," Morrie whispered.
Mitch Albom
#34. You only live once, life is really short.. don't let anything minuscule like that keep you down. Keep your head up.
Mitch Lucker
#35. Look at the limes in this drink, how they float. That's good news. Next time I'm on a boat, and it capsizes, I will reach for a lime. I'm saved by the buoyancy of citrus.
Mitch Hedberg
#36. I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But if the gas tank says "E", I get all cocky - "I've got this one, don't worry." So I get out the toolbox AKA wallet.
Mitch Hedberg
#37. The hands of a clock will find their way home.
Mitch Albom
#38. Mitt Romney has spent his entire life finding ways to solve problems.
Mitch McConnell
#39. We need to strengthen and save Social Security for today's workers. If we don't act now, this system, born out of the New Deal, will become a bad deal.
Mitch McConnell
#40. Sometimes, questions are more hurtful than insults.
Mitch Albom
#41. Some people perceive Skinner to be complex. I just basically was trying to remember my lines, so I guess that's what they perceive as being complexity.
Mitch Pileggi
#42. Death is the end of a lifetime, not the end of a relationship.
Mitch Albom
#43. A heart weighs more when it splits in two; it crashes in the chest like a broken plane. Sarah dragged her wreckage back to the house up to her bedroom, and down into a deep, dark hole.
Mitch Albom
#44. The biggest problem confronting the country is our excessive spending. If we're not going to deal with it now, when are we going to deal with it? And we've watched the government explode over the last four years. We've dealt with the revenue issue.
Mitch McConnell
#46. Is that true? Are you really him?"
"I am afraid I still hold that distinction."
"You are Sherlock Holmes? No, I don't believe it."
"That is quite all right. I scarcely believe it myself.
Mitch Cullin
#48. We must display a heart for every American, and a special passion for those still on the first rung of life's ladder.
Mitch Daniels
#50. How could he find perfection in such an average day? Then I realized this was the whole point.
Mitch Albom
#51. That's why it has to be a nonprofit, because a nonprofit is required to take monies it receives and use them for the purposes for which it's chartered by the government. It can't be pocketed.
Mitch Kapor
#52. A friend said to me, "I think the weather is trippy." I said, "No, man, it's not the weather that's trippy, perhaps it's the way we perceive it." And then I realized I just should have said, "Yeah."
Mitch Hedberg
#53. Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
Mitch Hedberg
#54. I always look for a "rhythm" in my writing. A cadence to the sentences. Sometimes I think of pieces I write in a song writing infrastructure - i.e., a verse, a chorus that I return to, a bridge that's something differenct, a chorus that I return to.
Mitch Albom
#55. Loyalty ruled this woman's soul, but loyalty needs a partner.
Mitch Albom
#56. Philosophy was that death should not be embarrassing; he was not about to powder its nose.
Mitch Albom
#57. If information wants to be free, then that's true everywhere, not just in information technology.
Mitch Kapor
#58. We look wishfully to emergencies, to eventful, revolutionary times ... and think how easy to have taken our part when the drum was rolling and the house was burning over our heads. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Mitch Kynock
#59. The more you defend a lie, the angrier you become.
Mitch Albom
#60. I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
Mitch Hedberg
#61. Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won't hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, "All right, it's just fear, I don't have to let it control me. I see it for what it is".
Mitch Albom
#62. There are two stories for every life; the one you live & the one others tell
Mitch Albom
#63. For centuries, musicians have sought to find me at the end of a needle or the bottom of a drink. It is an illusion. And it often ends badly. Take
Mitch Albom
#64. Desire sets our compass, but real life steers our course.
Mitch Albom
#65. You cannot ask things to do what they are not meant to do. Eventually, they will break.
Mitch Albom
#66. Swiss Cheese is a rip-off It's the only cheese I can bite into and miss
Mitch Hedberg
#68. Dizzy Gillespie, the jazz trumpet player, once said, "It's taken me all my life to learn what not to play." He was one of my special ones. And he was quite correct. Silence enhances music. What you do not play can sweeten what you do. But
Mitch Albom
#69. Dying is not in synonymous with Useless
Mitch Albom
#70. Listen. You should know something. All younger people should know something. If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it will happen anyhow.
Mitch Albom
#71. I meant no disrespect. It's just that I had always felt that rabbis, priests, pastors, any cleric, really, lived on a plane between mortal ground and heavenly sky. God up there. Us down here. Them in between.
Mitch Albom
#72. If you could pack for heaven, this was how you'd do it, touching everything, taking nothing.
Mitch Albom
#73. Failing to continue to support the public higher-ed system in California will have devastating long-term consequences.
Mitch Kapor
#76. You live on - in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here ... Death ends life, not a relationship.
Mitch Albom
#77. I hate sandwiches at New York delis. Too much meat on the sandwich. It's like a cow with a cracker on either side. "Would you like anything else with the pastrami sandwich?" "Yeah, a loaf of bread and some other people!"
Mitch Hedberg
#78. Do you believe in God, Venkat?" Mitch asked.
"Sure, lots of 'em," Venkat said. "I'm Hindu.
Andy Weir
#79. Please, please, please, please, please ... ,, squeezing his eyes shut because it somehow made the words more pure.
Mitch Albom
#80. Whether it's before the election or after the election, the principle is the American people are choosing their next president and their next president should pick this Supreme Court nominee.
Mitch McConnell
#82. With a little faith, people can fix things, and they truly can change, because at that moment, you could not believe otherwise.
Mitch Albom
#83. It was precisely because her songs were dragged up out of her soul that they were so powerful and passionate. The ones that went into "Back to Black" were about the deepest emotions. And she went through hell to make it.
Mitch Winehouse
#84. Now how about waffles for breakfast? Or is too late for breakfast?"
Mitch rested back in his chair. "Maybe too late for breakfast, but it's never too late for waffles.
Shelly Laurenston
#85. Animals not only make music, they hear it in unique fashion.
Mitch Albom
#86. I've always wanted to have a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist. That's not a full joke there! It's filler.
Mitch Hedberg
#87. Does this prove what we believe?"
"If you believe it, you don't need proof.
Mitch Albom
#88. Finally, treat domestic energy production as the economic necessity it is and the job creator it can be. Drill, and frack, and lease, and license, unleash in every way the jobs potential in the enormous energy resources we have been denying ourselves.
Mitch Daniels
#89. I took my orders, too. But if i couldn't keep you alive, I thought I could at least keep you together. In the middle of a big war, you go looking for a small idea to believe in. When you find one, you hold it the way a soldier holds his crucifix when he's praying in a foxhole.
Mitch Albom
#91. I dropped my eyes, kneading the dying flesh of his feet between my fingers. For a moment, I felt afraid, as if accepting his words would somehow betray my own father. But when I looked up, I saw Morrie smiling through tears and I knew there was no betrayal in a moment like this. All
Mitch Albom
#92. For years I wrote in my basement. More recently I graduated to one floor above, an office with all my books and music and - ta da! - a window.
Mitch Albom
#93. Either Mitch goes with me ... or get used to finding your wife hiding in trees."
"That's just mean."
"I'm a Smith. What did you expect?"
"Good point.
Shelly Laurenston
#95. One of the first things we did was to find role models or mentors at companies that had achieved what we wanted to do. We bribed them or annoyed them for long enough until they decided to mentor us.
Mitch Harper
#96. I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines. It'd have to be real big.
Mitch Hedberg
#97. At a certain point, your life is more about your legacy to your kids than anything else.
Mitch Albom
#98. Hello, Edward. I've been waiting for you.
Mitch Albom
#99. I like Kinko's, because they're open 24 hours. If it's 5 am and I decide I need two of something, I'm covered! Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, and then I think, "Oh, yeah. Kinko's. No problem. That will not remain singular."
Mitch Hedberg
#100. I often find that I rock back and forth with a beat in my head constantly. If i stop rocking, it usually means I've hit a snag in my writing.
Mitch Albom
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