Massage Chair Quotes

#1. If God had meant for me to be religious, he would have alphabetized the books of the Bible. It was just too hard for me to find what I was looking for, especially if I was looking for it through a few glasses of scotch.

Cathie Pelletier

#2. Want to try it?" Dad offered, patting the arm of the chair. "Fifteen different kinds of massage. It analyzes your back muscles and makes recommendations. It also grabs and stretches the thigh and calf muscles."
"No, thanks. I prefer my furniture to keep its hands to itself.

Lisa Kleypas

#3. New white people, you can't scare these white people, I tried.

Dave Chappelle

#4. If the good people in their wisdom shall see fit to keep me in the background, I have been too familiar with disappointments to bevery much chagrined.

Abraham Lincoln

#5. Go nuts, girlfriend." He grins, making his face instantly more familiar. "I told 'em we met when we were both looking after Jamie. But I skipped the part about taking off my pants and daring you to find out if Wesley's massage chair would turn my dick into a real-life vibrator.

Sarina Bowen

#6. I like Roy Orbison's video for 'I Drove All Night' because it's so literal. It is just a man driving throughout the night. I like that silliness. To be in a video is a ridiculous thing. It's almost impossible to do it without any humour.

Richard Ayoade

#7. At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.

Kristen Schaal

#8. My tongue tasted like a gladiator's jockstrap [Marcus Corvinus after a night out]

David Wishart

#9. Did you ever wake up with an erection ... and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take it!"

Zach Galifianakis