Lampoon Crossword Quotes

#1. I'm an ordinary girl who believed in her dream.

Jessica Watson

#2. (Fishing) is as boring as boring gets. And then when it's finally not boring and you have a fish on the line it turns into a crime scene with a wooden club and a crazy amount of hitting.

Holly Goldberg Sloan

#3. The only way to live a life without regret is to make sure each unit of time that passes is being converted into product

Sunday Adelaja

#4. Most folks call them green onions, but
they're really scallions.

Stan Freberg

#5. See your disappointments as good fortune. One plan's deflation is another's inflation.

Jean Cocteau

#6. Because I was newly pregnant, I was sick as a dog, yet I knew all my lines from a year before.

Gwyneth Paltrow

#7. Unfortunately, I like to feel a little stubble when I kiss. Women are too soft.

Malin Akerman

#8. The secret of a good librarian is that he never reads anything more of the literature in his charge than the title and the table of contents. Anyone who lets himself go and starts reading a book is lost as a librarian ... He's bound to lose perspective.

Robert Musil

#9. I have two hands. I can hold two medals.

Shani Davis

#10. His true monument lies not on the shelves of libraries, but in the thoughts of men, and in the history of more than one science.

{Gibbs's obituary for scientist Rudolf Clausius}

Josiah Willard Gibbs

#11. I haven't yet made clothes that I have been totally satisfied with, and maybe I never will.

Rei Kawakubo

#12. I wonder if evolution wasn't from ape to man, but from insane to sane.

Cameron Jace

#13. Humans are in love with the idea of our persisting,' he said. 'We fetishize it, really. Our retirement funds, our genealogies. Our so-called ideas for the ages.

Barbara Kingsolver

#14. I'm kind of the town pump. I think I have a pretty good ear for what sounds good in this style.

Michael McKean

#15. A quiet mind is one that is willing to speak the truth that is felt internally. It is a mind that has not yet been conditioned to accept a reality that is being imposed upon it by well-meaning adults and cultural and religious teachings.

Wayne Dyer