Stan Freberg Quotes

#1. I was turning down cigarette campaigns before it became fashionable. I wouldn't let CBS Radio sell 'The Stan Freberg Show' to R.J. Reynolds and American Tobacco, which had sponsored Jack Benny, the man I replaced.

Stan Freberg

#2. All women are troublemakers who take the money their husbands need desperately for a new and better speaker, and selfishly squander it on things like shoes for the children, homogenized milk, or perhaps A SECOND DRESS!

Stan Freberg

#3. You can make sounds and music out of pretty much anything with a little imagination and putting your mind to it!

Stan Freberg

#4. You have to prove that the Freberg way will sell their product better than if they just did straight advertising. Whenever I give a lecture or seminar, that's what I try to get across to people. I hear very few radio commercials that sound like I could have written them or that they got the idea.

Stan Freberg

#5. Who are taking to the witch burning Saturday night?

Stan Freberg

#6. The story of Little Blue Riding Hood is true. Only the color has been changed to prevent an investigation.

Stan Freberg

#7. Most folks call them green onions, but
they're really scallions.

Stan Freberg

#8. When he was a little kid, he was a fat, spoiled kid. I can tell the type.

Stan Freberg

#9. I trained my son to be a puppeteer since he was a little boy.

Stan Freberg

#10. Black is a great color!!! it sets off your wig!

Stan Freberg

#11. The decision as to what's funny and what is not funny shall rest solely with Mr. Freberg.

Stan Freberg

#12. If you don't like an ad, why should anybody else? ... We're all consumers ... That's why I always create commercials for myself first of all. I am the consumer I know best. If I think it's a great commercial, I figure the rest of the people might think so, too. I haven't been wrong so far.

Stan Freberg

#13. A lot of television stuff is mean-spirited, and I think that's how political advertising got so mean-spirited, to where people are throwing things at the television set every time we have an election.

Stan Freberg

#14. People are amazed to see that I wrote all the words and music myself to 'Stan Freberg Presents The United States Of America.'

Stan Freberg

#15. Well, we're all a little hostile every now and then, some of us are able to sublimate, others of us can't adjust. You know how it is ...

Stan Freberg

#16. I believe all of my talents come from the Lord. All of my talents are God-given - that's how I was able to write music without any professional musical training.

Stan Freberg

#17. I had a scholarship to Stanford because I won three California Speech tournaments. Before I started Stanford, I told my mother I wanted to take a bus into Hollywood and see if I could get an agent.

Stan Freberg