Katt Williams Funny Quotes

#1. Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it'll be your last headache.

Katt Williams

#2. A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and got big.

Katt Williams

#3. You can't even go to Heaven if you get killed by Spinach, you can't even go. You don't even know what to tell Jesus. You Just 'You know what Jesus, I did have a salad, I really Did I- I Didn't know what I was thinking about.

Katt Williams

#4. My name is "A Pimp named Slickback" Wait ... A Pimp?? ... Named Slickback. Yes, please say the whole thing if you would. Yes, that includs the "A Pimp Named" part. Yes Tom, everytime.

Katt Williams

#5. Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you hurt, you heal. After darkness, there is always light and you get reminded of this every morning but still you choose to believe that the night will last forever.

Pleasefindthis

#6. The root-word "buddha" means to wake up, to know, to understand; and he or she who wakes up and understands is call a Buddha. It is as simple as that. The capacity to wake up, to understand, and to love is called Buddha nature.

Nhat Hanh

#7. Hello? ... No I'm sorry no Shaquita here. Well what number did you dial?.. No it's a nine not a seven ... Well try it if it doest work call me back we'll figure this thing out.

Katt Williams

#8. He comes back with the script, and it's racist like a 1940's Newspaper.

Katt Williams

#9. If your pussy was so good, you would drive a better car.

Katt Williams

#10. White people, you did not get a receipt for niggas, you can not return us!

Katt Williams

#11. Many argue; not many converse.

Louisa May Alcott

#12. What is the most overrated skill for an entrepreneur? The most overrated skill is skill. Luck is more important. The entrepreneur gets credit for being this genius, when really he was just at the right place at the right time.

Ken Hendricks

#13. No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.

Chuck Palahniuk

#14. America is a bunch o' bullies. Tell me what the Iraq uniform is like. Don't worry, I'll wait.

Katt Williams

#15. If we have not found the heaven within,we have not found the heaven without

James Hilton

#16. If you spend long enough realizing a character in your book, congratulations, you've made a friend for life.

Michael R. French

#17. I've seen all types of women. Celebrity girls I've dated and regular 9 to 5 girls. I've had shows where married women have tried to follow me to my hotel. My perception of women isn't very ignorant because I've seen a lot.

Wale

#18. My legs tired, ain't your legs tired!? His legs ain't Tired! He Just ... Tinktinktinktinktinktink, TinktinkTinktinkTinktink!! Just paperclips and Sparks everywhere!

Katt Williams

#19. Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure.

Katt Williams

#20. When asked what I am most proud of, I stick out my chest, hold my head high and state proudly, 'I served in the United States Navy!'

John F. Kennedy