Julie Halpern Quotes

#1. I'm probably the only person on earth who had to be committed to a mental hospital to find a date.

Julie Halpern

#2. I know a flute player is technically called a "flautist," but something about it sounds a little sketchy, as does "pianist," so I will refrain.

Julie Halpern

#3. I hardly think it wise to put the idea of flying into the heads of impressionable teenagers who are already battling the challenges of lunacy.

Julie Halpern

#4. I wished I could erase the message, suck the word "sorry" from the En glish language, and hack it to pieces with a rusty ax.

Julie Halpern

#5. So love is possible at the Loony Bin. Or, at least, lust.

Julie Halpern

#6. Is it the boiler room? Is this the part where we both fall asleep and Freddy comes after us? 'Cause I could so kick his ass.

Julie Halpern

#7. What if I have bad breath?' I asked.
'Chew on some gum,' she said.
'What if I can't find his tongue?'
'Back off on your tongue until you can feel his.'
'What if he throws up in my mouth?'
'Um, that would just be gross.

Julie Halpern

#8. I did it. Who leaves a message like that? Who is so paranoid that they have to be so cryptic? If this wasn't day one of my Summer of Nothing, I might be in a hurry to figure this out. but first: breakfast.

Julie Halpern

#9. Authentic happiness is always independent of external conditions. Vigilantly practice polite indifference to that which we can't control. Your happiness can only be found within.

Epictetus

#10. When you're a kid, you live carefree. You notice things that go on around you, but you live like a kid with no worries until you get to that certain age where trials and tribulations come and you gotta fight and stay on your toes. That's when survival instincts kick in.

Jay Rock

#11. I didn't have a boyfriend. I had someone to watch horror movies with while my best friend was too sick with cancer.

Julie Halpern

#12. Back home everyone said I didn't have any talent. They might be saying the same thing here but it sounds better in French.

Alan Jay Lerner

#13. Char bought a pack of clove cigarettes, claiming they tasted good, to which I ask why doesn't she just go suck on a clove so I don't have to inhale her perfumed second hand smoke?

Julie Halpern

#14. We are what we believe ourselves to be

Paulo Coelho

#15. I can't buy the idea that we're supposed to live and learn from horrible things. That somehow these things happen so we can grow as people

Julie Halpern

#16. It was really an exciting time trying to find my way from being a boy to becoming a man-being toe to toe and eye to eye with grown men, even though I was only 11 or 12.

Karch Kiraly

#17. Christianity is either relevant all the time or useless anytime. It is not just a phase of life; it is life itself.

Richard Halverson

#18. When I die, I want them to bury me facedown and ass up so that the whole world can kiss my ass!

Julie Halpern

#19. Raisins again. I like raisins, but I have a habit of losing one or two on the floor every time I eat them. I always find them later and think they are: a) a mouse turd or b) a cockroach. Then I figure out it's a raisin and sigh with relief. This pretty much happens every time I find a lost raisin.

Julie Halpern

#20. If global warming is because of weather changes - which a lot of people believe - there's not much we can do to change the weather pattern.

Ron Paul

#21. So I carried on, waiting for what ever was to come, with or without God's help

Julie Halpern

#22. I have always kept a stack of library books next to my bed as a lifeline. If I ever woke in the middle of the night too scared to move or too sad to roll over, the books were my saviors.

Julie Halpern